Kabisat

Yap, hari ini tanggal 29 Februari, muncul tiap empat tahun sekali saat tahun kabisat. Jadi, 2008 yang bisa dibagi 4 itu masuk kabisat kan ya? :D. Pantesan hari ini mediamarkt ngadain diskon gede-gedean, *ntah ada hubungannya ma kabisat ato nggak :D*, yang jelas, ntar sore mu ke sana, refreshing, hehehe. Mu hunting mixer dan blender, sapa tau ada tulisan laatste prijs nya :D.

Mengucapkan selamat ulang tahun pada siapa pun yang ultahnya tanggal 29 Februari... karunya pisan harus nunggu 4 tahun biar tanggal lahirnya muncul di kalender masehi... [makanya yang diinget kalender hijriah ajah :D, padahal Rachma ge gak apal... kalo di kalender hijriah, Rachma milad tanggal sabaraha nya... :-/ ...]

Waktu kemarin ke Zwolle, masya Allah.... eta kareta apina pinuh pisaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan. Heran. Padahal basa sebelumna ka Zwolle hari senin, gak penuh-penuh amat. Kemarin mah... beuh,,, banyak yang berdiri malahan. Terus, tiketnya gak diperiksa lagi :)). Kalo gak ada tanggal 28-02-2008, masih bisa dipake lagi tuh retourn ticketnya. Terus nyadar, harga tiketnya naik. Bulan kemarin harganya 16,1 euro ... kemarin harganya 16,4 euro [udah didiskon 40% dari harga, pleus reduksi karena ngambil daag retour]. Beda 30 sen juga ngaruh :P, kalo 30 sennya ada sepuluh kan jadi 3 euro, bisa beli daging ayam sekilo lebih [heuheuheu, itungan pisan ... ]
Mikir... itu karena emang harga tiket kereta yang naik, atau karena yang pertama mah Rachma beli di kasir langsung, bukan di mesin tiket :-/... Anybody knows?

Perjalanan ke IND, seperti biasa, kalo ketemu orang administrasi, pasang senyum selalu :D. Kan orang Belanda mah, teu kenal oge, bilang hai hai wae :)), jadi harus dibalas dengan senyum paling ramah, hihihi...
Akhirnya, dapetlah verblijf, liat masa berlakuna... alhamdulillah... langsung 4 tahun :D. Soalnya cenah, yang lain mah biasana berlakuna setahun setahun, jadi di akhir tahun mesti perpanjang verblijf. Dan tentu saja, jadi jalan-jalan ke Prague bulan depan, hehehe.

Next thing to do adalah daftar sofi number. Tapi, kelihatannya, Rachma dah punya sofinumber, soalnya ada yang ngirim surat ke rumah, nyuruh ngisi data. Tapi pas ditanya ke sekretaris polimer, katanya surat itu aneh, jadi sama dia mu dibalikin lagi aja ke pengirimnya, pleus dikasi surat pengantar kenapa dibalikkin lagi. Well, karena Rachma juga gak terlalu ngeh isi suratnya buat apa... [tadinya mu pake babelfish, tapi maaak... aya 8 halaman meureun... :)), malesh ngetiknyah]. Sekretarisnya dah bilang, kalo Rachma mau ngambil kursus Dutch, tinggal bilang aja, ntar universitas yang bayarin feenya [siaaap!! ^^]

Sebenernya ya, niat ke Zwolle kemarin tuh mu sekalian belanja produk wilton, yang cenah adanya di centrum Zwolle. Tapi, berhubung... kamari teh... ujug-ujug jadi gak mood, mungkin karena sendirian, males keliling-keliling di kota orang. Jadi aja, diurungkan niatnya. Pengennya nyari-nyari yang deket aja dulu, sapatau ada yang mirip-mirip :).

Seminggu di lab... bisa dibilang ... gak produktif :)), gomen ne supervisorkuwh yang baik hati. Alasan: nunggu magnetic stirrer... soalnya yang di lab gak ada termokopelnya. Hidup sebagai seorang chemist, membiasakan diri hidup mewah =)). Heuheu, kerjaan teh order ma order ajah. Kemarin liat-liat harga stirrer, paling murah sekitar 570 euro, kalo pengen yang bagus ya 1600 euro lah [udah seharga cincin berlian itu... :))]. Terus kalo diliat lebih jauh, tuh termokopel sepanjang 30 cm, itu terbuat dari platina murni, alias Pt 1000. Walah, pantesan termokopel di lab pada gak ada semuah, heuheuheu....

Belum lagi menginjak ke glassware, buka-buka katalog, hualah... jadi glassware yang ini tuh harganya 200 euro, yang ini... ih, nu kitu ge 1000 euro.... Alat ini... maaak, 2500 euro....
Hah, pokoknya lamun liat harga wae mah, moal jadi-jadi balanjana. Jadi kalo mu pesen sesuatu, yang selalu diingat adalah: "if you need something, you can buy. The money is in your project already, you don't need to buy it yourself. Don't let it limit your work. Work harder, spend [the money] more. That's the money for".

Dengan modal itu... ya, tinggal klik..klik, ngetik quantity, ngetik deskripsi, pleus harga [gak peduli mu berapa digit juga :))..], hehehe, then send order. Tapi tetep aja, Rachma gunakan prinsip ekonomi :D, nyari yang lebih murah dengan spec yang sama. Kalo kata temen mah, Dutch way: the cheaper the better. Tambahan lagi, sekarang ceritanya Rachma penanggung jawab lab, heuheu, jadi harus berlaku seperti layaknya penanggung jawab :).

Mudah-mudahan minggu depan dah dateng pesanannya, pengen kerjaaaaaaa, depan komputer wae mah bosen :(.

Kangen suasana homy

Keluarga

Suara Perempuan

Akhir-akhir ini, topik pembicaraan berputar-putar di masalah keluarga, walopun topik yang selalu hangat adalah topik nikah [da emang nyambung atuh :D]

Caution: da Rachma mah kan emang nulisnya ge curhat wae nya. Jadi bagi yang merasa keberatan, Rachma dah ngasi warning, jangan dibaca kalo gak mau liat curhat-curhat. Jangan protes juga ya, bosen.

Yang Rachma pahami tentang keluarga... nggg... Rachma bersyukur tinggal di keluarga yang suasananya selalu aman, damai, tentram. Tambahan lagi Rachma mah tinggalnya di kampung, lingkungannya sepi, hijau, pleus udara seger. So, mostly... I used to live in peace. Berkembang dalam lingkungan yang ideal, bisa dibilang seperti itu [pede we lah, heuheu].

Waktu kecil, Rachma tinggal bareng Nenek. Rachma manggil beliau mMih. Sebagai cucu pertama, Rachma dapet semua perhatian, mulai dari kasih sayang, dan hal-hal lainnya macem materi [dapet koleksi perhiasan, uang, dsb]. Simply, I used to get love. What I know about the world: it's really wonderful. Thus, you will find me always cheerful.

Walopun pas kecil seringnya ma mMih dan bibi+paman Rachma,,, secara umum, Rachma gak ngerasa kurang kasih sayang dari orang tua. I mean... sometimes, people think that love should be given directly from biological parents. Personally, I object that. Waktu kecil, banyak banget orang yang berlaku sebagai '' Mama" Rachma. Yang kadang kalo lagi ngumpul keluarga, Rachma kadang bingung... Rachma gak inget kalo yang ini tuh pernah ngurus Rachma pas lagi kecil, yang itu juga, kalo yang ini... nggg.... how can I remember all of them...? :D.

Rachma seneng banget nyanyi-nyanyi, dengan makanan favorit: cocorico dan gula merah. Rumor mengatakan Rachma hobi makan nasi, dengan gula merah sebagai lauk pauk. Omigod, aneh sekali... 8-|. Sejak kecil sama Papa dah mulai diajarin baca [dunno, but I remember those kind of things]. Jadi pas umur lima tahun, dah masuk SD. Itupun jarang masuk sekolah, ikutnya pas ujian ajah, heheheh, kok bisa ya? :P. Guru dan kepala sekolahnya baik sekaliiii, jadi Rachma merasa sekolah itu seperti rumah, benar-benar rumah. Efeknya, Rachma suka bersekolah, Rachma suka baca buku, suka kalo liat gurunya seneng, Rachma suka nyanyi depan orang lain kalo itu menghibur, Rachma suka liat orang tersenyum... semua we disukain, heuheuheu. I feel energized by that way. Sejak kecil ikut pengajian, ada jadwal pagi, sore, dan malam, belum lagi sekolah agama yang jadwalnya mingguan, dan sekolah kaligrafi yang juga jadwalnya mingguan. Maaak, sibuk sekali nampaknya Rachma ini... hihihi

Tapi, seperti layaknya anak kecil, yang kadar efinefrinnya sangat tinggi, ya gak ngerasa capek, yang ada tuh seneng-seneng aja :D. Kalau ada waktu luang lainnya, Rachma seneng main-main ke sawah, main layangan, main kartu, main loncat tinggi, main kelereng, sampe bercocok tanam bunga merusak halaman, heuheuheu. Semua permainan kayanya Rachma suka, soalnya... menarik aja sih, menantang :D. Permainan cowok tidak lantas membuat Rachma jadi masculine :P, Rachma seneng menata rambut, seneng baju-baju baru, seneng ngeliat perhiasan-perhiasan berkilau. Haha, seneng belanja :P.

Dan satu hal yang perlu digaris bawahi, Mama dan Papa Rachma jarang campur tangan dalam proses pendidikan Rachma. Dalam artian, Rachma gak ngerasa ampe diajarin ngaji sama ortu, atau diajarin pendidikan apa gitu. Yang Rachma dapet adalah... mereka memfasilitasi proses pembelajaran Rachma. Mereka gak maksa Rachma untuk ini itu, yang mereka lakukan adalah bertanya, dan mengingatkan. Misal, kalo pas hari minggu, Rachma terlihat nonton TV seharian... [dan Rachma bisa loh, nonton TV bener-bener seharian, :D, kuat pokoknya], Papa Rachma nanya: Kok hari ini Papa belum liat kamu baca buku ya....
Ngedenger itu, pasti Rachma manja-manja dulu nyari pembelaan, hihihihi, baru akhirnya mantengin buku. Dan dulu itu, Rachma suka nangis kalo gak ngerti apa yang dibaca, heuheuheu.... dasar anak kecil.

Ngomong-ngomong tentang Papa, beliau itu orangnya pendiem, jadi boleh dibilang... Rachma jarang komunikasi ma Papa. Beliau juga biasanya pulang sore, sekitar jam 5 jam 6 an gitu. Tapi tidak lantas Rachma merasa kurang kasih sayang hanya karena jarang komunikasi ato gimana gitu. Kadang heran dengan teori-teori anak yang menyebutkan... ortu jangan terlalu sibuk, soalnya begini begitu...
Kayanya, asal berimbang aja kegiatan anaknya, gak masalah. Ortu Rachma sibuk, tapi gak ngerasa kurang kasih sayang tuh. Nya biasa-biasa we.... masa ortu teh mau ngurus anaknya terus tiap menit, kan punya kerjaan lain juga. Kalau bahasa kerennya 'kan punya amanah untuk masyarakat' juga... ciyeee, heuheuheu :D.

Kurang lebih pas SMP, materi pengajian udah mulai beragam, udah mulai ngaji kitab, baik sarah [aka kitab kuning] maupun matannya. Ada beberapa yang berpendapat, pendidikan seperti itu mungkin terlalu dini... dipaksakan lah, karbitan lah... Heuuu, da dulu mah ngerasanya, itu ilmu buat hidup, biar hidupnya bener, jadi ya... asik-asik aja. Bukan masalah berat atau gaknya, tapi lebih ke happy gak suasana belajarnya ... ;).

Rachma mulai melihat realita dunia ketika masuk ITB. Hhhh, malas sayah ngebahasnyah, jadi diskip we nya, da inti postingannya mu ngebahas keluarga :D.

Jadi, dari kitab uqudulijain yang pernah Rachma pelajari pas SMP [FYI, itu kitab isinya tentang kehidupan suami istri]. Coba ya, SMP dah belajar kaya gitu. Heuheuheu, da Rachma mah di kampung atuh, jadi umuran segitu teh udah dipersiapkan untuk membina rumah tangga... hihi :P.
Nah, yang Rachma tangkap dari pembahasan kitab itu, yang krusial adalah: tugas istri itu melayani suami. Melayani dalam artian kebutuhan biologis dan psikologis. Jadi simpelnya, tugas istri adalah menyenangkan suami, pastikan diri cantik dan wangi selalu :D. Jadi, harap diperhatikan baik-baik... tugas memasak dan membereskan rumah... itu bukan tugas istri...
Mau protes? Mangga, diaos heula kitabna....

Namun, tentu saja... menyenangkan hati suami itu bisa diperluas menjadi: membantu pekerjaan suami, termasuk memasak, membereskan rumah, dan memperhatikan pendidikan anak. Dengan catatan: istrinya ikhlas melakukan itu semua. Jadi, para ikhwan, kalau seandainya ada yang salah dengan keluarga, yang akan diminta pertanggungjawaban oleh Allah itu yang pertama kali adalah dirimu. Gak bisa dirimu teh mengelak, dengan menyalahkan sang istri tidak pandai mengurus rumah tangga. Tugas sapa coba ya itu :P.

Berbekalkan pengetahuan yang dulu-dulu ketika masih kanak-kanak Rachma dapet, ada banyak benturan ketika dunia nyata tak seindah masa kanak-kanakku. Jadi, sudah saatnya dewasa ya Neng Rachma....
Mulai dari prinsip-prinsip salah satu pergerakan di kampus tercintah... :D, Rachma sering banget protes disitu. Dilanjut dengan proses jaim-jaiman yang menjamur... geeze, I really hate that. Sampai akhirnya, memutuskan, ... sebetulnya Rachma kurang suka menentang... I prefer to please somebody, but everything has limit... mungkin, Rachma memang bukan yang termasuk sami'na wa atho'na dalam lingkup gerak organisasi itu ;).

Yang lain yang Rachma soroti adalah maraknya tipe-tipe ikhwan yang seragam dalam hal pemikiran, termasuk pandangan tentang idealnya calon istri. Warning again: it's my personal thoughts, it's my blog :P
Awalnya, pengharapan yang terbersit adalah... pengen calon suami yang sholeh, titik. Seiring dengan berjalannya waktu, banyaknya orang yang dijumpai, banyaknya kisah yang dijalani, akhirnya....banyak harapan-harapan idealis yang terkikis. Namanya juga hidup... :P. Tapi masih percaya... there is one in a million who....
ehehehe :D

Jadi, ini yang mau Rachma bahas:
*diambil sebagian dari hasil diskusi dengan seorang teman nun jauh di sana, gendernya ikhwan*

-image katanya cewek ITB itu susah diatur-

Tolong ya, emang mau punya istri yang iya-iya ajah? [mungkin sebagian cowok maunya gitu... beuh, males banget, gak ada pembelajaran buat suaminya doong]. Cowok itu kalo istrinya iya-iya ajah, suka seenak-enaknya. Coba, masa calon imam kaya gitu... ck ck ck ck....
Pada dasarnya, Rachma suka menjadi seseorang yang penurut, apalagi kalau buat suami. Apa sih yang nggak buat suami tercintah, hueheheheh :P [ini gombal ya? ih padahal Rachma seriusan da :D]. Tapi, tolong ya itu dilihat kembali... dalam hidup itu, proses kaderisasi individu pasti tetap jalan, termasuk setelah memasuki jenjang keluarga. Fakta bahwa suami adalah pemimpin, tidak lantas membuat dia selalu benar. Karena itu, Rachma lebih senang berdiplomasi dulu, gak suka langsung bilang iya-iya ajah [ih, males banget coba, langsung iya-iya aja]. Jadi kalau teknik diplomasi suaminya lebih ok, Rachma nurut kok, heheheh. Lagian, kadang... ada saat-saat di mana... pengen aja menang bicara, walopun tau lawan bicaranya lebih bener [dalam hal ini suami misalnya], ya... seneng aja kalo dibolehin menang, hehehe :D.
Dan ketika cewek udah mulai bercerewet-cerewet ria, cara ampuh mengatasinya adalah diem, dan bilang iya-iya aja, ntar ceweknya nyadar sendiri, hehe.

*melihat kenyataan ini, kayanya yang jadi suami Rachma mesti orang yang ekstra sabar, adakah? :D*

Tapi tentu saja, harus tetap diingat, kewajiban istri yang sebejibun itu... harus dilakukan dengan baik. Harus full spirit ini mah ;). Mengingat hadiahnya adalah ridho Allah, worth banget lah :D.

-emang mau gitu kalo diminta tinggal di rumah aja?-
Pada dasarnya, Rachma mau-mau aja jadi ibu rumah tangga... "aja". I mean... ya, kalo sudah jadi istri itu, harus taat suami. Masa coba, Rachma mau beraktivitas tapi suaminya gak ridho, terus ntar teh dilaknat ama malaikat, dibenci sama Allah... huwaaaa, gak mau ah kaya gitu mah. Hidup di dunia itu kan nyari ridho Allah, salah satunya dengan mencari keridhoan suami. Kalo di dunia hidup seenak-enaknya tapi ternyata Allah gak ridho mah... ya same aje bohong atuh...
inget juga suatu keterangan, kurang lebih isinya kaya gini, CMIIW: "manusia gak harus sujud sama sesama manusia, tapi jika diharuskan, maka diperintahkan istri sujud pada suaminya, untuk memuliakan suaminya".

Kadang, ngeri juga kalo inget ini. Once I decide to get married, that's the start that I belong to my husband. Hiiii, ngeri kan ya? tapi kalo untuk ibadah mah, gpp deh, heuheuheu. Moreover, I like to please someone, to see him happy always.

Tapiiii... [ada tapinya :P], mengingat Rachma mudah bosen, terus kalo dah bosen suka bete, kalo dah bete suka gak mood dan suntuk, kalo dah suntuk suka marah-marah gak jelas, jadi kalo suami Rachma minta Rachma untuk di rumah aja, maka yang pertama Rachma lakukan adalah.... merayu suami biar ngizinin Rachma punya kegiatan selain jadi ibu rumah tangga :D. Jadi, kayanya Rachma mesti belajar teknik merayu, hueheheh. Ada bukunya gak ya? anybody knows? :D, hihihi semangat buat belajar, abis kayanya menantang tuh :D.

Lagian ya, masa suami tega sih membiarkan Rachma bosen sendirian di rumah? ck ck ck... teganya.... T_T
Kan pengennya, selain berbakti pada suami dan keluarga, pengen juga berbakti pada nusa bangsa, negara, dan agama... [haha, PPKN banget :D]. Tapi betul kan? Indonesia tuh perlu berubah lebih maju, dan Rachma pengen berkontribusi di situ. Masa gara-gara sang suami posesif gak jelas, gak ngizinin istri beraktivitas... ck ck ck... egois sekali ini suaminya, perlu di-OS dulu... :P
Jadi ya, Rachma itu pastiiiiiiiiiiii aja bisa nyari celah untuk ngebantah pendapat orang, heuheuheu, harus banyak beristighfar.

*Melihat gelagat kaya gini, suka mikir, kasian ya yang bakal jadi suami Rachma, heuheuheu. Makanya berdoá sama Allah: Ya Allah, mudah-mudahan jodoh Rachma orang yang ekstra sabar.... Jadi kalo Rachma nikah sama dia, Rachma dapet pahala bersyukur, dia dapet pahala bersabar, terus kita bareng-bareng bekerja sama mencapai ridha Allah, ganbarimashou... ^^. Lho kok? :D*

-pendidikan anak-
Beredar suatu pendapat, ibu itu adalah madrasah pertama buat anak. Ya, lagi-lagi calon ibu dituntut jadi superwoman, yang dah bisa ini bisa itu. Heran, harusnya kan ikhwannya yang serba bisa, ya toh? dia calon pemimpin kan? bukan pajangan doang berlabel suami :P. Tapi demikianlah dunia berbicara...
Syarat-syarat begini jadi rumit untuk kalangan akademis, I mean...coba ya, kalo dikampung mah, cowok suka ma cewek, pacaran [bukan pacaran anak kota :P], terus ngelamar ke ortunya, terus nikah deh. Gak pake acara cewenya mesti bisa ini itu, dan sejenisnya...

Tapi, akan menyenangkan kalo emang bisa ngasi pendidikan langsung ke anak. Kalau ortu Rachma dulu lebih bersifat memfasilitasi, maka Rachma pengen berkecimpung langsung. Jadi, Rachma sudah mempersiapkan kurikulum buat mendidik anak, hehehehe. Kalo orang lain mah bilangnya Rachma lucu, kaya anak kecil... itu sebetulnya bukan kaya anak kecil, tapi berjiwa muda, heuheuehu, jadi kan lebih kebayang gitu buat menyelami dunia anak :D, hehehe, naon deuihhh...

Karena Rachma suka belajar seni, sains, teknologi, dan agama [sagala we disenengin... :D, abis suka sih belajar hal-hal baru, seneng aja, jadi aja kerjaan ^^], jadinya... ya kurang lebih pengen anak-anak juga mendapat pengetahuan itu semua. Bukan masalah karbit mengarbit ini mah, tapi Rachma pengen anak-anak dari mulai dini udah dihiasi dengan ilmu, pleus mastiin... mereka belajar itu semua dalam suasana heppiiiiii ;).

Demi mengkongkritkan itu semua, ya sudah sejak lama mendalami hal-hal yang berhubungan dengan itu. Rachma suka mempelajari psikologi, walo kadang teu nyambung, gak tau buat apa :D. Rachma seneng banget mengenali teknologi, paling gak suka kalo ada cowok meremehkan cewek hanya karena gaptek meng-gaptek, beuh... gak sopan cowok kaya gitu teh. Masalah seni, dulu belajar nari, belajar organ, suling, seneng nyanyi, seneng nulis diary [kalo sekarang mah online diarynya :D], dan seneng bikin puisi, prosa, dan cerita fiksi. Yah, pokoknya pengen aja menghiasi anak dari seni juga, biar berkembang otak kanannya :D.

Yang sedang difokusin sekarang adalah... murojaáh hafalan, hehehe, pada lupa ~_~. Sebenernya mah ya, kalo mau membiasakan anak ngafal Al-Qurán, ortunya gak wajib hafal 30 juz kan? hehehe, merasa diri ngapal juzáma aja susahnyaaaa, banyak godaan, ngafalin hadist ganjil aja godaannya banyak ... :D. Hmm... tapi, insya Allah Rachma dah punya ilmu qiroát, pengen mengajarkan itu juga sama anak. Termasuk melantunkan adzan, heuheuheu, ari dulu Rachma kepikirannya apa yak, ampe belajar melantunkan adzan :-/... Tapi ya, buat anak laki-laki mah cocok meureun.
Tapi ya, yang kepikiran itu... pengen meluangkan waktu ngaji bareng sekeluarga, jadi bikin jadwal rutin gitu, kayanya asik ya. Apalagi kalo ngaji berdua bareng suami, romantis kayanya, hihihih [anak dikemanain, Neng :P].

Kan ada keterangan, isinya kaya gini, CMIIW: "janganlah orang meninggal jika tidak ditinggalkan generasi penerusnya dalam keadaan baik". Ambigu gak ya? heuheu, maaf, lupa redaksi tepatnya. Intinya sih, kalo mu meninggal, pastiin dulu anak-anaknya dalam keadaan baik [akhlaknya]. Mendidik anak memang penting, tapi tolong jangan dibebankan hanya pada ibu... Wanita itu kan manusia juga atuh, meni dituntut ini itu, kasian banget. Jadi kalo liat istrinya sibuk, dimohon sang suami tau diri dan mau membantu istrinya. Kan romantis tuh, kalo masak bareng... kerja bakti menata rumah barengan... ya kan... ya kan? :D. Please, be a gentleman, husband...
[Kalau cowoknya gak sopan, pasti komennya, "itu kan tugas istri"... Duh, capek deeeeh.....]


-Rachma, udah siap nikah?-
Hmm....
dunno. Heuheuheu. Dan kembali Rachma menanyakan, 'ikhwan itu bisa gak nikah sama akhwat yang gak suka sama dia?'.
Misal alasannya: Rachma bersedia nikah sama situ, tapi bukan karena Rachma suka sama situ, lebih ke... kayanya dah masa-masanya mengakhiri masa lajang, terus... nikah adalah visa tambahan buat pulang ke Indo, hueheheh, terus nikah itu kan ngegenapin dien...orang yang dah nikah mah untuk amalan yang sama ma yang masih lajang, dapet pahala 70 kali lipat. Terus, kalo suami istri pegangan tangan aja, apalagi pake cinta, dosa-dosanya berguguran, terus melayani suami itu setara dengan sholat malem full time. Nikah beneran lahan beramal. Karena amal adalah yang akan Rachma bawa menuju akhirat, jadi boleh deh nikah, ngapain juga ditunda-tunda, heuheuheu. But, as a man, will you be insulted? even when I say, that I will for sure do my best to learn how to love you?

Orang yang ngobrol sama Rachma, bilangnya kalo ikhwannya sholeh mungkin nggak tersinggung, tapi kalo dia kayanya iya. Hmm...
Setelah melalui kisah yang tidak terlalu mengenakan di hati. Rachma jadi apriori terhadap romantisme cinta. Lebih susah buat percaya sama cowok, ngg... gak tau deh... pokoknya susah aja. Well, let's see how my life story will go.

It's more like, I prefer to marry someone who loves me, though I don't love him... yet :).
Kalimat yang sering Rachma lantunkan pas berdoá: siapapun orang yang akan jadi suami Rachma, Rachma pengen bisa mencintai dia setulus hati. Tapi pengen juga, sebelum memutuskan menikah, ada kecenderungan hati Rachma sama orang itu :D, biar gak susah-susah banget gitu untuk menumbuhkan cinta di hati, hihihi :P. [diniatkeun pokoknyah]

-poligami-
My heart is not strong enough to tolerate this case.

-long distance marriage-
Hayah, sigana lamun long distance marriage, yang ada tuh... Rachma kangen tiap hari, dan pengen pintu ajaib dengan amat sangat. Tapi kalo terjadi...Hmm, harus segera dicari solusinya. Minimal ketemu dua kali setahun? bener-bener melepas kangen eta mah... :D

Tapi ya, Rachma sering mikirin, gimana caranya, walopun tinggal serumah, tapi tetep kangen tiap hari, gak bosen gitu...
Mengingat, Rachma orangnya mudah bosen, jadi takutnya.... ntar bosen gak yah liat suami tiap hari? hihihi :D, kalo cinta mah nggak kali yak... 8-|

Ngomong-ngomong tentang cinta, beberapa hari ini Rachma terkena butterfly effect. Jadi ngeri sendiri. Dan temen Rachma, A***, berkomentar:
"Rachma, ini bukan saatnya bertaáruf lama-lama. Harus jelas, kalo mau nikah ya nikah, kalo gak ya nggak. Jangan mau diminta nunggu, cowok tuh kalo ngerasa udah ada di posisi aman, suka seenak-enaknya [betuuuuuuuuuuuul, setuju lah]. Yang dirugikan kan ceweknya, umur terus bertambah [iya tau, Rachma semakin tua, heuheu :P]... jangan mau ngurusin yang gak jelas. Kadang cowok itu perlu digebrak, biar tau diri [hayah, galak pisan dia teh, tapi betuuuul, Rachma setuju]. Perlu juga sekali-kali ditest, dia tuh beneran gak, seriusan gak. Seleksi alam bakal nunjukkin siapa jodohmu [siap Bu...]. Kalau dia emang butuh, beneran berniat baik, dia bakal mikirin ke yang lebih serius, nikah. Tapi kalo dianya didiemin aja, dia bakal nyantai-nyantai gak jelas. Lagian, kalo emang jodoh ... ya gak akan ke mana. Jadi kamu harus membatasi komunikasi [hmmm... ya, agak susah, tapi setuju]. Lagian, Rachma juga gak mau kan, kalo calon Rachma berbagi cerita ini itu, deket dengan cewek lain? [NGGAAAAAK... mikirinnya aja udah bikin mules perut... :( ]. Jadi Rachma juga mesti berhenti komunikasi sama dia [duh, tambah mules...]. Saya tau itu berat, pasti nangis-nangis [udah nangis dari tadiiiii .... T_T], tapi Rachma harus kuat, Allah bakal nunjukkin jalannya. [Amiin..].


Yang tadinya biasa-biasa, jadi kaya yang mau jauhan gimanaaaa gitu, heuheuheu. Yang tadinya cuek-cuek aja, jadi mikir... kok, ada perasaan berat ya buat melakukan itu [bahkan ketika Rachma bilang ke orangnya, gak pake hati, yang kepikiran adalah A*** jahaaaaat T_T. Padahal temen Rachma itu bermaksud baik, demi menjaga hatikuwh, heuheuheu ]

Jadi, demi kebaikan bersama...mengingat akhir-akhir ini pikiran Rachma rada eror, susaaaah banget buat berpikir jernih. Terus, jadinya sering ngerasa bersalah juga sama orang itu. Kenyataan bahwa... ya, Rachma juga pengen ngejaga hati Rachma, jadi kalo pas waktunya ketemu jodoh, hati Rachma tidak bervirus [yang gak diridhoi Allah]. Semua perlu pengorbanan... ya... ya, pengorbanan. Tapi nahanya asa beurat pisaaaan 8-|... jadi selama ini tuh Rachma... ?
*kok bisa?*
Ah .........pusing ah, lieur....

A woman in sin

I don't want the same sad story happens
I don't want you to get hurt either
If you ask me what I really want now
I want you to be nearby
dunno why, I just want you to be nearby

I might have hurt you,
but still I want you to be nearby
It is a sin, isn't it?
so I have to let you free as always
Couldn't believe I could say that easily
With no tears dropped by
It was too empty to feel sad
as in the morning,
It was too early to think clearly

Right now, I don't know what to do
I really don't know

*geeze, pas baca judulnya, siga nu punya dosa apaaaa gitu, heuheuheu*

Kupu-kupu dan AAC

Pas jum'at malem rapat online sama T**** via ym, diteruskan dengan voip-an di sykpe... akhirnya kita dah dapet, or minimal dah kebayang apa yang bakal jadi proker kesekretariatan Salamaa. Yang namanya rapat tak resmi, ya tentu saja banyak ngobrolnya [yang resmi pun banyak ngobrol , da kalo gak ngobrol mah gimana mu rapat atuh :P]... Di sela-sela ngobrol, akhirnya diketahuilah bahwa softcopy film AAC sudah beredar.... pleus de facto bahwa pendapat kita terhadap novelnya mirip. Novelnya agak-agak gimanaaa gitu, hehehe.

Sebetulnya Rachma dikasi tau temen, kalo sejak Januari, di kampus dah ada yang punya filenya. Pas liat-liat lebih lanjut, weeh filenya 1.2 GB. Curiga Rachma gak dibolehin ngakses ftpnya . Jadilah milih sabar aja, sapatau ntar ada yang ngupload di rapidshare, dan ternyata ada .

[maaf ya Pak sutradara dan semua kru yang terlibat, Rachma nyadar ini bajakan, tapi penasaran.... gomen nasai... ]

Berhubung Rachma gak punya akun rapidshare, jadi mesti bersabar nunggu 103 menit tiap selang satu file. Akhirnya diisilah dengan kegiatan di dapur yang masaknya ngambil waktu banyak . Kepikiran buat bikin ayam kodok, tapi mengingat proses bikinnya bisa ampe 4 jam [kelamaan ituuuu ...], pleus di kulkas ternyata gak ada daging cincang, dan hari itu gak mood belanja [lengkap pisan lah alasannya, intinya mah males ke mana-mana, heuheu]. Akhirnya bikin ayam madu aja. Dan tentu saja, karena emang Rachma gak punya pisau tajem [mahal pisan coba pisau tajem teh, bisa 10 euro satu biji, males pisan belinya... ], jadilah tuh ayam dimasukkin microwave aja, baru deh dipotong-potong . Setelah selse masak, yang ternyata kurang dari satu jam dah mateng... kembali mantengin laptop. Rate downloadnya cukup gede, bahkan nyampe 24 mbps. Jadi file-file itu didownload dalam waktu kurang lebih satu menit. Haha, tapi nunggu 103 menitnya itu yang bikin kesel... [udah gratis, pengen gak pake nunggu lagi. Leecher pisaaaan... ]. Ampe diselingin nonton Hana Kimi dulu biar waktunya gak kerasa. File 1.2 GB yang dipecah jadi 12 file itu akhirnya selse didownload.

File-filenya digabungin lagi pake HJSplit. Awal-awal nonton... hmm... hmm... hmm....
Ntah kenapa, Rachma nonton filmnya diskip, mungkin karena pengen ngebandingin aja ma novelnya. Efek liat film itu... jadi inget masa-masa kuliah, kangen temen-temen, kangen Bandung... kangeeeen ~_~ .

[pengen pintu ajaib ].

Atmosfer week end jadi aneh. Memang, salah satu hal yang berbahaya adalah waktu luang, hehe, karena tiba-tiba aja terkena virus groningen kala week end, kronis .

Ngobrol sama temen Rachma, S****, yang diobrolin ya... update-an seri terbaru, heuheuheu. Ngobrol kaditu kadieu.... dan tentu saja ngasi tau AAC udah beredar, heheh, maaf Pak sutradara...
Tidak lupa curhat apa yang Rachma rasain setelah nonton filmnya, biar jadi alert, heheh. Di sela-sela ngobrol, tersebutlah satu nama. Hayah, ini ghibah bukan ya... Yang jelas, Rachma mesti ngambil wudhu terus sholat biar pikiran lebih tenang. Lagian, Rachma juga gak ngerti, kenapa kemarin labil banget .

Dan pada saat yang tidak tepat, ada bunyi kring-kring. Denger ringtone itu, nggg.... Rachma nebak itu siapa, dan sedikit tidak nyaman, ujug-ujug kena butterfly effect, heuheu. Rachma biarkan ringtone itu bunyi sampe akhirnya mati sendiri, padahal gak diliat juga yang nelponnya siapa [gomen ]. kembali anteng ngobrol sama temen Rachma, dan tiba-tiba terdengar ringtone yang sama. Angkat... jangan... angkat...jangan....
hmmm, akhirnya Rachma klik accept, dan obrolan pun berlanjut kaditu kadieu.

Pas lagi ngobrol, Rachma mesti banyak-banyak istighfar, malu sama Allah, ngerasa bersalah sama yang di sebrang sana, malu juga sama malaikat. Lho? heheheh, ya gitu deh . Berusaha keras untuk senetral mungkin, objektif, dan gak terbawa suasana [cool, calm, confidence, hehehe... naon deuih :P]. Walo dalam hati dah gak nyaman banget, pengen teriak, kenapa kupu-kupunya banyak sekaleeee 8-|.

Tidak lupa menanyakan hal penting titipan temenkuwh. Obrolan berhenti karena yang di sebrang sana harus menerima telpon yang lebih penting. Dan klik, akhirnya line telepon terputus.

Akhirnya... selse juga percakapannya .

Merenung sejenak, hmm... maafin Rachma, ya Allah.
Kerasa ada air mata yang keluar. Duh, cengeng sekali Rachma ini....

Untuk ngilangin kelabilan emosi, akhirnya Rachma tidur sore. Bangun pas maghrib, dah baikan, terus sholat... terus... berdo'anya yang lama, heheheh. Sigana nya, itu lebih tepat disebut curhat dibanding do'a . Duh Allah, da ka mana deui atuh Rachma kedah curhat teh pami sanes ka Allah. Pusiiing . Abis, mau curhat sama manusia, ribet, kadang suka bingung ngutarainnya, takut ngebebanin juga. Curhat di blog, aya nu protes wae [padahal ini kan blog Rachmaaaaa... terserah Rachma dunk mau nulis apa. Kumaha sih ]

Kegiatan berlanjut dengan kembali menyibukan diri dengan komputer [yee, computer is like a best friend ]. Tentu saja sang ngantuk gak datang-datang... akhirnya mantengin Hana Kimi aja, hehehe. Di tengah-tengah nonton, ujug-ujug dateng lagi tuh kupu-kupu. Tiba-tiba merasa sangat bersalah. Pleus air mata yang keluar dengan sendirinya. Dalam hati, berulang kali Rachma minta maaf sama seseorang, gak tau juga kenapa Rachma mesti minta maaf ke orang itu, heuheuheu. Sometimes you do something out of control .

Baru tidur jam 3 pagi... Pas tadi bangun, alhamdulillah kembali seperti sedia kala. Sampai sekarang masih penasaran, ari Rachma teh kunaon nya? *bingung sendiri*

Ah, yang penting mah dunia kembali berwarna . Kun fayakun, segalanya di tangan Allah. Kalau Allah sudah berkehendak, ya pasti kejadian.

Ya Allah, jadikanlah Rachma bagian dari orang-orang yang sabar dan ikhlas menjalani semua episode hidup yang Engkau anugerahkan. Amin.

Ganbarimashou...

Wonderful gift

~Right after a busy day, in a foggy evening, announce with pride... today is wonderful~

Y: One day you'll meet him.
X: Who?
Y: Someone to whom you are belong to.
X: You mean God?
Y: Nope. A man.
X: Do I know him?
Y: I don't know...
X: Ah, you mean my soul mate?
Y: It's more like... he is the owner of the soul, and you are the missing piece he is looking for.
X: That means I don't have a choice to choose who the owner is
Y: Exactly
X: But that's quite random... Don't you think so?
Y: Not if you keep your heart healthy. It will be hard if some viruses are already in your heart.
X: That's quite hard. I don't even know if my heart is healthy. It seems still needing the cure anyway.
Y: Then your waiting time is the best curing.
X: Do you think so?
Y: You know you don't have any choice. You are not curious about the person?
X: Me? very. But it's nice to have a surprise.
Y: It will be the best gift ever, a wonderful one. Trust me.
X: Why should I trust you anyway?
Y: Do you have any choice not to trust me?
X: I don't.
Y: It's always best to prepare, honey.
X: Yeah, it's always be.

I never imagine that one day I have to share all my day with a significant other. It's always easy to say one thing theoretically, but for sure the reality will give a lot of surprise somehow. To think that one day somebody is coming out of nowhere, and I have to adapt with his world out of no reason, undoubtedly I feel scared some way. Simply because we are bound by marriage, then I have to share everything with him,,,, no more privacy, no more selfish things. Scary but interesting, isn't it?

To think that I might not even know him, I might not even love him,,, the fact that we are completely strangers makes me doubt, and silently ask "am I really the missing piece of your soul? what if I'm not? will you be disappointed? I know it's not nice to get disappointed, maybe I will ruin all beautiful images about your [future] wife, maybe I will only be a burden to your daily life. Maybe I will hurt you out of no blue. Before that scary things happen, can we stop it now?"

I realize, someone who decides to get married is a full spirit person. He gambles. He picks a woman, makes her his wife, but meanwhile he makes a very great promise, mitsaqon gholidho, with The Lord. If he fails to teach his wife, to take care of his family, than he has to take responsibility in front of The Great Allah. And I find it very scaryyyyyyyyyy

The only thing I can think is "I want to be your best jewel ever". I don't care what the people are saying, I don't care what somebody else might be gossiping. I don't even know whether I love you or not. But I do care about you, about your happiness, your safety, here and there, now and then. Is that enough?

No. You probably hope that I can serve everything, like an angle doubled with guardian. Your high expectation has frighten me for sure. I start doubting you, more or less. I start to think, "Why should I give my only heart to you? why should I share my happy life with you? why should I give myself to you? why should I? what makes you deserve to have me? Are you really the one, the so-called wonderful gift? who are you?"

Out of no blue, I wrote those words. Today I talked to somebody new, and I realize... I have to be more careful in concluding something.

--All generalizations are dangerous, even this one-- [Alexandre Dumas]

Relationship

Kembali mendapat undangan untuk mengisi kuis, hehehe. Daripada bengong depan kompie, ya jadinya ngisi beberapa test Tickle. Yang Rachma cantumin di sini, test tentang relationship, alamatnya di sini [bisi ada yang mau nyoba juga ]. Mengingat reportnya panjang, jadi Rachma tampilkan dalam scrolling aja, kalau mau baca ya silakan, kalo gak ... ya gak usah. Up to you,,, as you please aja deh, hehehe.

Pas baca hasilnya, amazed,,, ni orang Tickle niat betul yak, atau tepatnya... para psikolog itu niat betul risetnya, heuheu. Pemaparannya cukup representatif, dan jadinya ketahuan kalo knowledge Rachma di bidang sex masih kurang, heheheh. Berikut hasil testnya:

Rachmawati, your Relationship IQ is:

130

Your Relationship IQ measures what you know about relationships compared to others. It is built off the foundation of the traditional IQ test, where 68% of people who take this test worldwide score between 85 and 115. The above chart shows where you fall on the Relationship IQ scale compared to others.

As we previously mentioned, your Relationship IQ score is determined by your general knowledge of how people should behave in relationships. But we also took a look at how you actually behave in your relationships. To get this information, we compared your responses to the Relationship IQ test questions against what experts say is the right way to have a healthy relationship.

The first step to improving your Relationship IQ, so it can benefit you in your relationships, is to look at how your scored on four Relationship IQ dimensions: Acceptance, Communication, Conflict Resolution, and Intimacy and Sex. Acceptance Communication Conflict Resolution Intimacy and Sex 1 5 10 Acceptance Acceptance 1 5 10 On this scale, a score of 10 represents what the experts say is the right way to accept your partner's differences. You scored a 9. Some experts in the field of relationships at the University of Washington have spent their entire careers researching different aspects of what makes romantic relationships work. Combining their own examinations with data from an extensive inventory of couples' relationships, they have determined that the majority of couples in happy relationships feel that their partner respects their emotions, opinions, and ideas. These findings support the premise that for a healthy relationship to flourish, you must appreciate, and feel appreciated, by your partner — whether you know it or not. That is because appreciation comes in various forms, and those forms help build the basis of a good relationship. In short, the right way to have a relationship is to make sure you make your partner know how and why you value them, and to expect the same from them. On the whole, it's easier to appreciate people for things you can see, things that are tangible, like someone making dinner for you or picking you up after work. Those are things you routinely acknowledge with a verbal "thank you" or even a non-verbal "thank you" such as a hug or a kiss. What you really need to ask yourself on this dimension is if you truly accept your significant other's thoughts, values, and opinions. If you score lower than you'd like on the Acceptance scale, stop and ask yourself: Would you prefer it if everyone shared the same views as you? Or are you able to see validity in everyone's point of view, regardless of how different it is from your own? Do you just not care what others believe? People's opinions and values run the gamut from extremely conservative to extremely liberal and everything in between. Some prefer their significant other to have the same opinions and values, while others embrace the different opinions and values of their partner. The Acceptance dimension of your Relationship IQ looks at how you view differences in opinion that may come up between yourself and another person. You welcome being exposed to diverse views and are able to accept and tolerate them — even if you disagree with them entirely. You may find yourself surrounded by people from many different walks of life, and you revel in the uniqueness of each individual. You appreciate that a person can hold values that are different from the ones you have and do not feel threatened by the differences. In your world, everybody has distinct qualities that allow them to shine like a star. You may not like diametrically opposed values but you will still accept a person who possesses them. Since you find diversity appealing, you may be attracted to individuals who are very different from you. Different values or principles may strike your curiosity, and you may be interested in learning more about them and the individual who possesses them. Because you are open to people with different value systems than the one by which you live, you may find yourself in a relationship with someone whose principles are not the same as your own. Your ability to accept people unconditionally creates a comfortable atmosphere for your significant other to share thoughts, feelings, and ideas without the fear of your disapproval. This non-judgmental vibe permeates through every aspect of your relationship. Learning about another's different values can broaden your own view of the world and yourself rather than intimidate you. Your open-mindedness and your ability to make people feel at ease encourage your significant other to share their innermost thoughts with you. Keep giving your loved one positive feedback and respecting their views. Communication Communication 1 5 10 On this scale, a score of 10 represents what the experts say is the right way to communicate with your partner. You scored a 9. The ability to communicate well affects every aspect of your life. In order to get something, you have to be able to make your need for it known. To connect with others, you have to open up your world to them. Communication is all about how clearly you express yourself and your needs. Your skill with communication is also indicated by how well you are able to hear what others have to say, whether through words or non-verbal communication like body language. As such, communication has been studied by psychologists from many different angles. The most current research indicates that in order to have a successful relationship, partners must feel as if they are able to express their differences (Wallerstein, 2002), as well as be a good listener (Schwartz, 2002). In short, the right way to have a relationship is to be open to talking about issues as well as be willing to listen to your partner. The Communication skills dimension looks at your expectations around communication in general, how you relate to people in your life. The degree of comfort you feel in expressing your own needs and beliefs/thoughts/opinions directly impacts your ability to relate to others on an intimate level. But communication is not a one-way street. That is why the Communication dimension also looks at how you figure out what your significant other is saying to you through words or body language. You have a relatively good understanding of your partner and what they want, but some things are just a mystery. There are just some times when you can't know what everyone is thinking, and they can have no sense of what you are thinking. In your relationship, you are generally comfortable expressing yourself and are pretty adept at understanding your significant other. But you may sometimes be shocked when your loved one does not get something about you that you assumed they would. This can throw you, and possibly your relationship, for a loop, but it is something that you two are eventually able to see eye to eye on. That's because you tend to keep lines of communication open between you and your significant other. To open them up even further, try to catch yourself when you make assumptions about your partner. Rather than taking your assumption for granted, ask your significant other what their thoughts are on the matter. When you are having a conversation with your loved one, exercise your listening and comprehension skills by repeating what they've said in your own words. This ensures that you really get what they're saying. If you have a question about where your loved one stands on an issue, ask rather than assume.

Conflict Resolution Conflict Resolution 1 5 10 On this scale, a score of 10 represents what the experts say is the right way to resolve conflict with your partner. You scored an 8. No matter how perfect the relationship, you're bound to run into conflict from time to time. So how do you handle it? Do you avoid the touchy subject? Or do you dive right into the fray and meet the challenge head on? Psychological research suggests that people who are able to bring up points of contention and come to a solution together have a relationship that is characterized by greater communication and intimacy (Canary & Cupach, 1988; Fitzpatrick & Sollie, 1999). In short, the right way to have a relationship is to address differences and points of difference. The Conflict resolution dimension taps into how you deal with confrontation when it arises. This refers to what you think it means to have a disagreement with the significant person in your life and what you think is the best way to deal with it. In addition, the Conflict dimension assesses your understanding of resolving conflict. You understand that conflict is normal for any relationship. And with that viewpoint, it's natural for you to be fairly adept at handling it. You have learned very well how to pick your battles. You will usually tackle an issue when it is personally important but you may let some things go in order to keep the peace. You may find that some issues cause you some level of distress, which might result in a poor night's sleep, or a lack of appetite when you decide not to voice what's troubling you. In your relationships, you are relatively comfortable bringing up issues with your significant other, though you don't think it's critical to talk about everything that irks you. Similarly, you don't expect your partner to bring up every little thing that bothers them about you either. You simply feel there are some issues that do not need to be discussed. When your loved one does bring something up that you do not think is important, you might become frustrated, and that will likely hinder your ability to discuss it. You are definitely on the right track with dealing with the important issues in your relationship. And sometimes it is good to shrug the unimportant stuff off. But you may hesitate to bring something problematic up, and this could prevent your relationship from progressing further. When you find yourself frequently thinking about an issue or losing your appetite or sleep over it, find an appropriate time to discuss it with your partner so the two of you can begin to come to a resolution. Intimacy and Sex Intimacy and Sex 1 5 10 On this scale, a score of 10 represents what the experts say is the right way to express intimate feelings with your partner. You scored a 7. For several decades, the role that sex plays in a relationship has been studied by researchers across many different disciplines, including biology, psychology, and sociology. Experts have concluded that sex can be a way that people express emotional intimacy. They also concur that sex can be a means for a couple to build upon the closeness that they already have. In short, in order to have the right kind of relationship, you need your physical connection to further your emotional connectedness to your partner. Sex can hold a powerful position in some relationships. It is one of the factors that differentiates a romantic relationship from a platonic one. So what does sex mean for you? Is it the cornerstone of your romantic relationship? Or are there things that are more significant? The Sex and Intimacy dimension looks at the role sex plays in your relationship, particularly how important or unimportant sex is for you. Sex has a couple different components to it: how you approach sex in your relationship and how much you generally know about sex. Here's what we can tell you about how sex affects your personal relationships. Sex is one of the many dimensions of a relationship that is important to you. But it is not the sole feature that determines the quality of your relationship. You appreciate the physical aspect of a romantic relationship but there are other aspects that you find equally compelling. Touch is just as important as talk, hugging is just as essential as sharing a moment, kissing is just as valuable as having a laugh. You, more than many, know how to balance the importance you place on sex and the other aspects of your relationship. The connection you have to the love in your life depends on a variety of factors. You express your feelings for your significant other through a combination of physical and emotional intimacy. You feel as if there is something missing from your relationship if your significant other relates to you on only one of these aspects. Keeping the balance between the physical and emotional pieces of a relationship can be quite a juggling act, and, at times, you may find yourself struggling with the task. When this does occur, try to identify what part of your relationship is being put off to the side and pay attention to it. How you deal with sex is different from your general knowledge about sex. Here's how you scored on specially designated "facts of life" questions on our test: 6 out of 10. With a score like that, we can tell you're definitely well read on the topic of sex. You may find that you gravitate towards reading or talking about sex more than the average person, or you may just have picked it up along the way. Either way, you're quite the sex expert. Want to see how we figured your general knowledge about sex? Here's the answer key. "Facts of life" answer key 12. At what age, on average, do most people lose their virginity? 14 16 18 21 15. __ percent of men and __ percent of women think about sex every day. 75 : 35 55 : 20 50 : 50 30 : 15 18. When asked what they would prefer to do, more people choose spending time with friends over having sex. True False 21. On average, Americans have __ sexual partners across their lifetime, while internationally, people have an average of ___ sexual partners. 3 : 7 7 : 10 11 : 9 14 : 7 22. A woman takes approximately ___ minutes longer to reach sexual climax than a man. 2 5 10 15 31. On average, married couples have sex ___ times per week and couples living together have sex ___ times per week. 1 : 4 3 : 3 2 : 3 4 : 4 36. Female teenagers, on the whole, have sex more often than their male counterparts. True False 37. What percentage of Americans have had only one sexual partner in their lifetime? 4% 11% 17% 26% 40. As people age, they become more interested in their own sexual satisfaction as opposed to their partner's. True False 41. More than half of women who use condoms carry them with them. True False

Beyond your scores on the Relationship IQ dimensions, beyond your general knowledge about relationships, we can also infer from your answers on the test, the way you are in a relationship. You, it turns out, are a Supporter in relationships. Your passion for life runs through every aspect of your relationship. You are more than a significant other to your significant other. You are their best friend. Relationships are very important to you, and you'll do anything to help out your partner. You're there for them and are willing to pitch in wherever they need help — whether it's cooking a nice meal when they're tired, or helping them with a problem they don't even know they have yet. They can count on you for just about anything and that's what helps make your relationships so strong. You're incredibly supportive of your partner's dreams and ambitions. Your ability to pay attention to their hopes and desires helps them as they define their goals. And they probably come to rely on that. You're also not afraid to roll up your sleeves and help further their causes — whether canvassing neighborhoods with election posters for your sweetie, showing up for a work function, or taking care of their chores around the house. You're also someone who's probably willing to put aside your hopes and dreams for your partner's. Your kind and giving soul is energized when you see that your support has helped your partner reach their dreams. But even people as supportive as you get into arguments with their partners. When you do, you may find yourself agreeing with your partner so the discussion will end amicably. It's not that your views have necessarily changed, but you may behave as if they have just to keep the peace. It takes a lot for you to have a spat, but it doesn't take long to kiss and make up. In fact, that's the easiest part of a disagreement for you. Your playful sexual nature shines through both in and outside the bedroom. Your feelings during sex are important to you, and the art of lovemaking takes the front seat in your relationship. Physical intimacy makes you feel accepted by your lover, and lets you communicate how powerful your emotions are. You want the same thing that you give to your partner: complete and utter acceptance. You accept your loved one unconditionally, and you want to experience that feeling yourself. Leave the emotional highs and lows for the big screen — you don't want someone who plays games. You appreciate a partner who knows what they want and like, and who is caring and open to you. It's important for you to connect with your partner during sex. You need to feel a bond with your lover, and physical intimacy allows you to express how deep your feelings run. Your kind and gentle nature can sometimes put you at risk. Some people might find it easy to take advantage of you, and that could make for some uncomfortable situations. Since you're so easygoing, you tend to put on a happy face even when you're upset inside. You'll put up with the conditions, but deep down you're irritated that your significant other has failed to understand you. Have you ever had insomnia? Lost your appetite? Gotten stomachaches out of the blue? Your physical symptoms may have an emotional root. It's possible that your feelings of being misunderstood or neglected have taken their toll on you physically. When you suppress your feelings, you can actually make yourself sick. Maybe you don't want to share your feelings because you're afraid of rejection. You wonder what would happen if your partner didn't fully accept you. Would they leave? Would they think less of you? Just imagining the answers can cause you distress, and can make you reluctant to find out. For you, expressing emotions is challenging — especially when it comes to really strong emotions. Next time you have difficulty finding the words to express yourself, try writing down what you're feeling. It's important to let emotions come full-circle. When you release them onto paper, or through words, you not only start the process of recognizing them, but also make it easier to move beyond them and be honest with yourself. That in and of itself will give you a clearer vision of yourself and your situation. After you've sorted it through by yourself, and you feel it's safe, tell your partner that there's something you want to talk about. No relationship is worth compromising being true to yourself.

The Relationship IQ test was created by a team of Tickle psychologists who noticed there was something missing in the study of relationships: a way to determine how much knowledge an individual can possess about romantic relationships. Up until now, there hasn't been a scientific method to gauge this knowledge. Tickle's Relationship IQ test fills the gap and provides people with a concrete way of grasping just how much they know about romantic relationships. By poring over countless studies on relationships and communication, Tickle psychologists distilled the most compelling components: acceptance, communication skills, conflict resolution, and intimacy and sex. To determine your Relationship IQ, Tickle constructed a test around these four qualities that recent research agrees determine relationship success. The more a person knows about something, the more likely they are to use that knowledge in their personal life. Based on that premise, Tickle has been able to determine your Relationship IQ Type. This describes how you are most likely to act in your romantic relationship based on the information you have. But you don't have to stop here — there are a number of sources you can use to learn more about romantic relationships. For the latest scholarly findings on romantic relationships, turn to psychology journals such as the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships(www.jspr.org), Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Psychology of Men and Masculinity and Sexuality, Society and Feminism. Feature articles on how people interact with others are also useful. Magazines such as Psychology Today and the American Psychological Association are great relationship resources. The questions dealing with general sexual knowledge were derived from research performed by private companies and scientist practitioners. Durex, a condom manufacturer, conducted a massive study in 2000 in order to look at sexual behaviors, attitudes, and health around the globe. Scientist practitioners, such as Alfred Kinsey and the Masters and Johnson team, have done pioneering research in the areas of sexual behavior and the human sexual response, respectively. Both forms of research help to keep us better informed about human sexuality and its place in a romantic relationship.

One may say that this kind of test is useless and nonsense. But... as a coin always has two sides, you are free to floor your own opinion .

Another thing I want to write....
umm, jadi pada suatu ketika , Rachma terlibat suatu percakapan, dengan seorang teman, sebut saja A, seorang ikhwan, domisili somewhere on earth, hehehe.
Anggap aja ini sentimen pribadi, bahwa saat ini [udah sejak lama deng ], Rachma tidak mempercayai pengastaan ikhwan akhwat. Bukan berarti apriori, tapi yah... kebetulan kisah hidup Rachma mengenali sisi-sisi lain dari manisnya figur seseorang yang dilabeli ikhwan/akhwat, pleus berbagai macam kegiatan/organisasi yang ada sangkut pautnya dengan itu. It's more like... yeah, that's the way the life is.
So, no offense, epribadi... .

Kembali ke cerita , hehe. Jadi, ketika Rachma berhadapan dengan seorang makhluk berlabel ikhwan, jadi cenderung ekstra hati-hati, apalagi kalau sudah berurusan dengan hal-hal yang menjurus ke suatu 'relationship'. Baik itu ta'aruf, or whatever you call it.
As far as I concern, ikhwan itu biasanya punya segudang kriteria calon istri. In short, I call them, "pemimpi". With such high criteria, maybe some are concentrated, even highly narrowed and shoot into a name of a woman. Very typical, I may say.

Yang Rachma pikirkan, dengan latar belakang 'sedikit' rasa apriori, kadang terlintas.... jika seorang ikhwan memimpikan seorang istri yang 'sempurna' -translated: cantik, pinter, sholehah, kaya, berasal dari keluarga yang baik-, then there is one question in my mind: what will he do as a husband? His wife is already outstanding, shining brightly already, with or without him, then what is his function? . Hehehe, as a woman, I know the answer though, but it's kind of fun to ask that .

and the story goes....ngobrol ke sana ke mari, sampai akhirnya menjurus ke... privasi. Ikhwan A mulai nanya-nanya masalah masak memasak. Halah, tipikal banget sih, mu nyari koki? . And in person, I don't like when a man ask me that, simply I will answer: Sorry, I cannot cook [and I don't intend to be your chef either ]. Tapi waktu itu, Rachma menjawab dalam redaksi lain, mostly because he is my friend, and I don't like to lie also:

me: Rachma gak bisa ngurus ikan mentah dan gak bisa juga motong ayam yang masih utuh. Tenaga Rachma gak cukup, mungkin perlu pisau yang tajem banget .
[I would say that it's only enough to push a computer keyboard, hehehe]
A: Ya nanti saya bantuin. Saya bisa ko ngurus ikan, pernah nyoba dulu. Nanti saya ajarin.
[ hmm, interesting...]
me: Gak ah, takut empedunya pecah. Kalau pecah kan jadi pahit ikannya.
A: Lha, kok takut. Yang namanya belajar ya jangan takut. Kalau ikannya pahit juga tetep saya makan kok. Tinggal pake kecap, beres.
me: Hmm... emang ngaruh gitu kalau pake kecap? perasaan nggak deh, tetep pahit.
[deep down in my heart, I am impressed... it is really sweet if he is still willing to eat such kind of food]
A: Ya, jangan pake perasaan makannya. Kalau lagi lapar sih makanan apapun enak aja.
[Haiyah... padahal Rachma kalo makan pake perasaan banget tuh ]

dan percakapan pun berlanjut ke hal lain. Rachma cenderung mencari celah untuk menemukan satu bentrokan, bukan mencari titik temu. Tapi waktu itu... keadaannya tampak tidak kondusif, membuat Rachma mesti masang alert lebih banyak, heheheh.

Misal, dari percakapan, Rachma tau kalau dia gak suka jalan-jalan, katanya sih karena jalan-jalan itu seperti buang-buang waktu. Dan tentu saja, dengan cepatnya Rachma respon, "Rachma seneng banget jalan-jalan, bulan ini aja udah ngerencanain ke sini, bulan ini udah ada rencana ke situ.... bla bla bla". Intinya mah nyari gara-gara ajah, heuheuheu, sampe akhirnya Rachma bilang gak pake mikir dulu, "kasian betul yang jadi istri A, ntar kalo belanja gak ditemenin dunk. Abis suaminya gak seneng jalan-jalan sih...". Terus dia jawabnya, "ya kalo buat istri beda, saya bersedia nemenin, walau itu cuman jalan-jalan aja" .
Beberapa saat Rachma mikir... this conversation is not healthy for me , I might get involved too far. Percakapan berlanjut ke masalah keuangan. Rachma inget banget dengan imej cewek Sunda yang beredar di negeri antah berantah, yakni: "wanita Sunda itu geulis, tapi sayangnya pada matre, suka bersolek, dan manja". Hayah, siapa itu coba ya yang menyebarkan rumor kaya gitu, heuheuheu. Jadilah Rachma nyeletuk, "Rachma suka banget belanja, terus kadang suka jalan-jalan gak jelas, apalagi kalo lagi suntuk", pokoknya semangat banget cerita yang jeleknya, hahaha, da emang kenyataannya juga gitu kok . Terus, taunya, dia dengan santainya jawab, "Ooo, ya wajar kalo akhwat seneng belanja. Kalau gak suka belanja justru gawat, nanti di rumah gak ada apa-apa dong". Hayah... gawat, he controls the conversation. I hate that .

Percakapan lain terus berlanjut kaya nambahin, "Rachma itu cerewet pisan, terus narsis, terus Rachma suka marah-marah gak jelas..." . Heuh, pokoknya semua sifat jelek Rachma sebut satu-satu. Lagi-lagi dia komentar dengan tenangnya, "ya, saya memang gak seperti Rachma yang foto friendsternya banyak sekali... [gubrak ]. Tapi saya belum pernah lo liat Rachma marah, jadi pengen liat... "

Ih, malah dibecandain... , gak suka. Pokoknya tuh percakapan jadi lanjut ke sana ke mari gak jelas. I hate the fact that he really controled the conversation.... halah, pokoknya jadi cape sendiri Rachmanya...



Percakapan ma dia bahkan sampai pada topik poligami, in which I prefer not to discuss about it. Dan dia dengan tenangnya komen, "ternyata sama ya, akhwat sekaliber Rachma pun kalau nyangkut masalah ini jadi sensi...". Hayah, males debat lagi ah, capek. Daripada ntar jadinya kebawa emosi, heheheh.

I find it somewhat interesting, yeah it's always fun to interrupt a so-called busy man .
Kalau kebetulan kondisi Rachma sedang tidak mendukung, ngobrol-ngobrol kaya gini bisa berbahaya, huehehe. Makanya kalo ngobrol ma dia, Rachma mesti kuat iman, [hahaha, bahasanya... naon deuih ], perlu double protection, kekekek.

Disclaimer: kemungkinan A tadi baca post ini sangaaaaaaaaaat kecil. Karena orangnya, ngakunya sih,,, super sibuk, pleus bukan tipe blogger.
Tapi jaga-jaga bisi baca, maaf ya kisahnya Rachma tulis di sini, dapet bonus kan berarti... jadi tau apa yang Rachma pikirkan pas lagi ngobrol, heuheuheuheu . Buat yang nge-fans sama A [banyak pisan emang fansnya dia, kekekek ], it's jut an ordinary story. Rachma nulis ini buat ngeluarin uneg-uneg, biar gak mumet, mohon dipahami.

-naha nya jadi resmi kieu? -

Posesif

Kemaren adik Rachma milad...
inget pas bangun hari itu dan mikirin tanggal, pas ngeh kemaren tanggal 18, baru deh inget, hehehe. Jadilah Rachma bawa headset imut ke kantor, tadinya niat mu nelpon via VOIP dari kampus. Reminder HP baru bunyi jam 9 pagi [emang dulu Rachma ngeset alarmnya jam 9 gitu? :-/]...

setelah nyoba voip, ternyata mic nya gak jalan...heuuu, dasar sigmatel. Jadilah Rachma browse, dan ternyata sigmatel ini memang bermasalah di mic. Salah satu solusinya adalah update driver. Setelah download, dan nyoba nginstal,,, ternyata malah eror soundcardnya, heuheuheu, jadi aja speakernya gak nyala :P.

Setelah nyari cd motherboardnya, dan berusaha nginstal [haiyah, susah pisan nginstalna.... langsung integrasi ma network sih, ditanyain pass administrator mulu... mana Rachma tauuu T_T]. Akhirnya setelah restart beberapa kali, tuh soundcard kembali seperti sedia kala [termasuk tetep gak jalan micnya :P]. Ada yang tau cara mengatasi problem mic sigmatel? I'm looking forward for your suggestions ;)

Ngobrol sama adik Rachma bisa ke sana ke mari [bukan ke sana ke sini ya :P], tapi... yang jelas tanpa gosip. We don't like gossiping others, we like gossiping ourselves, -translated: sharing-, hehehehe

Jadi kenapa judulnya posesif.... itu karena akhir-akhir ini Rachma jadi posesif sama adik-adik Rachma. Nyadar, dulu mah nggak da, cuek-cuek ajah... everybody has their own life... :P.

Posesivitas mulai Rachma rasain ketika dulu, waktu Rachma main ke tempat adik Rachma... Rachma liat pintu kamarnya terbuka, dan ada helm di situ [yang berarti ada cowok, dan helm itu tidak familiar]. Dengan penuh rasa curiga+waswas+penasaran, tiba-tiba... jreng jreng... emang ada makhluk cowo di situ.

Yang kepikiran waktu itu tentu saja WHO IS HE???, pleus pikiran menyelidik lainnya. Terus adik Rachma ngenalin, bla bla bla... Rachma cuma senyum-senyum aja, gak banyak bicara. Dan setelah beberapa saat, akhirnya makhluk cowo itu pulang. Setelah dia pulang, Rachma gak banyak nanya ke adik Rachma, it was more like I waited for her to explain something.

Kesan pertama ketemu cowok itu, ntah kenapa gak begitu bagus. Dan perlu dicatat, waktu kenalan ma dia, Rachma lagi gak pake kacamata, yang tentunya jadi gak begitu ngeh sebenernya wajahnya teh gimana, heuheuheu. Sigana mun ketemu di mana gitu, tetep we gak nyapa da gak inget yang mana :P. Kalo secara logika, gak ada yang salah sama cowok itu, tapi da tetep we Rachma teh asa gimana gitu, heuheueheu. So, frankly I don't like him.

Meanwhile, Rachma ngerasa jadi kaya ibu-ibu konservatif. I mean... ya gitu deh, ampe kelintas "who are you to get close to my sister?" . Jadi, kalo di depan adik Rachma mah, Rachma gak bilang kalo Rachma gak suka cowok itu... lagian, da emang ngaruhnya di mana gitu kalo ternyata adik Rachma tetep suka ma dia, heuheuheu. Jadi, Rachma lebih berusaha ngasi saran yang logis, syar'i, dan senetral mungkin. Walo dalam hati teriak "akan lebih baik kalo calon adik Rachma teh bukan dia" hehehehe.

Posesivitas ini juga berlanjut ke adik Rachma yang cowok. Melihat track record dia yang emang gak suka deket-deket cewek, dan belum pernah pacaran dan sejenisnya dan sebagainya... Rachma jadi ngerasa ada hak untuk menyaring juga whoever the girl yang bakal jadi istrinya. Hehehe, padahal mah masih lama pisaaan kaleee :)). Hayah, pokoknya jadi mikir... ini sindrom umur menua ato gimana sih? :P. Padahal kan bercita-cita jadi ibu yang bijaksana, yang tidak memaksakan kehendak :D. Ini mah ke adik Rachma aja udah kaya gini, hehehe.

I might be seen to be very vulnerable, but when it comes to something that I consider belong to me, I might become very dangerous and unfriendly, even though you may still see me smiling a lot. In the end, don't let me fool you .

Seiring berjalannya waktu, hal lain yang Rachma posesif-in dalam kategori sangat tinggi adalah hati, the one and only heart. I start to analyze every rush thing coming to my heart. I begin to build some filters, even walls in it. I don't give any tolerances against something which starts to make fun of my only heart. Even sometimes asking,,, what makes you worth to be in my heart? Wanna try to convince me? . Heuheuheu, parno eta mah.

Tadi juga ada kejadian... masalah posesivitas lab. Hayah, melibatkan etnis ini mah. Gak nyangka kalo supervisor Rachma yang sangat baik itu bisa marah segitunya. And it was for me. Sengaja atau tidak, mungkin Rachma yang memicu kejadian hari ini. Alhamdulillah udah [dianggap] selse masalahnya. Mudah-mudahan ke sananya lancar-lancar aja. Good newsnya, instalasi nitrogen di lab Rachma udah siap, tinggal nunggu silinder yang baru dipesan tadi sore :D. Ya, ini pun dipicu kejadian tadi pagi ~_~.



Sometimes, I need a situation that when I go home, I find something amusing, something that can bring peace and comfort into my mind.. so I can forget all the bad things easily.

- I need more spirit -

Otagai ganbarimashou

I woke up this morning and I found... many scratches on my hand. The stolen scars again? O my... Will there always be stolen scar on my hand every Monday???

Lagi-lagi ada luka goresan di tangan Rachma... kalo bahasa Sundanya: 'gagaro maling'. Kita gak nyadar menggaruk sesuatu dan akhirnya meninggalkan bekas luka.... Yang dulu aja belum ilang lukanya, ini nambah lagi... duh... :(.

But I know, I had the so called bad dream last night. Not a nightmare, but I don't like the feeling I had right after waking up. Thus, today seems gloomy. Frankly so d*mn gloomy...
I need something amusing, something interesting, something that can attract my attention completely. But unfortunately none so far... T_T. What other things should I look for then?


ggggrrrr

Bete

T_T

But life must go on, rite?

~_~

Ya Allah...
jangan biarkan jelaga hitam memenuhi hatiku
karuniakanlah padaku...
lapang dada berhiaskan hati seluas samudra

jangan biarkan hatiku kerdil dan membatu ya Allah
jangan biarkan hatiku terkotori prasangka-prasangka semu
ya Rahman... jauhkanlah aku dari segala penyakit hati,
ya Ghaffar... penuhilah hatiku dengan rasa syukur kepadaMu,
ya Rahim... karuniakanlah padaku rahmat dan karuniaMu
ampunilah segala kekhilafanku ya Allah


Astaghfirullahal ádzim
Astaghfirullahal ádzim
Astaghfirullahal ádzim


* Otagai ganbarimashouuuuuuuuuuuuuu ^_^*

Learn to read, read to learn

I looooove my days

Hari senin kemaren, tiba-tiba datanglah sang meja baru ke kantor Rachma. Yang pertama Rachma liat bentuknya kotak berwarna kuning khas furniture kayu. Setelah balik lagi ke lab organik -karena Rachma minta zat yang ada di lab mereka - kemudian dengan segera menuju kantor tercinta.... tadaaaa, ternyata meja pesenan itu adalah meja bentuk L, jadi total ada tiga meja. Pleus ada bonus dua lemari kecil dengan warna senada. Setelah diatur sedemikian rupa biar muat di kantor, akhirnya.... yuhuuu, serasa kantor beneran, heheheh. Kalo kata temen seruangan, tinggal pesen kulkas, terus tambahin aksesoris macam poster . Berhubung Rachma kurang suka masang tempelan-tempelan di dinding, jadi yang kepikiran adalah: membawa vas bungaaaa, biar cantik kantornya .

So, the following saturday to do is.... shopping....
siap-siap liat tanda korting, opruiming, dan sejenisnya...
Walo sebenernya paginya ada acara, siangnya ada acara... *sok sibuk *... tapi pengen nyempetin belanja ah, biar refreshing...

Jadi, kenapa judulnya learn to read, read to learn... itu karena kemaren-kemaren Rachma bergoogling ria mencari cara bagaimana membuat radio online. Setelah googling sana sini, nanya sana sini [gak deng, sebenernya nanyanya cuman ke beberapa orang ]. Awal-awal googling, masih belum kebayang, lieur... banyak yang mesti diset up. Terus akhirnya ngontak salah satu DJ PPI Jerman, walo gak sampe ke tataran set up, tapi di segi tataran teknis saat siaran, alhamdulillah dapet banyak pencerahan [makasih K N***** ]. Karena masih coba-coba, belum kepikiran buat beli domain, yang sebenernya sih pengennya mah gratis ajahhhh, heuheuheu. Akhirnya dapet cara bikin server, beruntung pula karena internet YB ngasi IP luar, hahaha, bandwidth tinggi pulak . Jadi selain bisa broadcast online, dah bisa ngaktifin lagi ftp pribadi, hehehe.

Untuk masang server, Rachma nanya salah satu admin ITB. Ya sedikit banyak membantu, walo gak langsung ke tataran setting radio [nuhun pisan K B*** ]. Sempet ngontak salah satu pengurus radio kampus ITB, tapi ntah mengapa beliau teh tidak tau menau mengenai broadcast online, atau mungkin males ngasi tau... ck ck...dasar pelit [haha, ngeluarin unek-uneknya di sini ].

Setelah nyoba siaran, muter lagu, dan minta seorang teman untuk ngakses tuh radio.... akhirnya.... bisa broadcast juga. Horeeee .

Encoder yang Rachma pake adalah AAC+, mengingat ini servernya langsung ke kompie Rachma, dengan kata lain ngambil jatah bandwidth kamarkuwh, jadi harus dicari yang efisien... kualitas tinggi tapi bandwidth rendah. Dengan AAC+ 32 kbps [setara mp3 96 kbps], suara mayan jernih, dengan delay sekitar 2 menit [tolong ya, masa gratisan pengen tanpa delay juga?] heheheh...padahal mah pengen pisaaaaaaaaaan , tapi masih belum nemu apa yang mesti dikotak-katik.

Oya, kenapa ngotak-ngatik broadcasting,,,, karena dalam rangka mendukung program salamaa, yang cenah kalo pengajian online lewat conference ym suka hang [ya iya ateuh, sekian banyak orang make voice,,, yahoonya jadi pusing,,, kekekek], jadi salamaa harus punya stasion sendiri. Tambahan lagi, Rachma kalo ikut conference salamaa, pasti we voicenya gak aktif, heuheuheu... dasar vista!
Karena ini untuk sekali-kali aja, Rachma sih males banget beli domain, tapi tergantung sang ketua ketang .

Ntar malem rencananya mu ngotak-ngatik lagi... mu nyoba di 64 kbps yang harusnya sih kualitas lebih tinggi dan tentu saja perlu bandwidthnya juga gede . Tapi, tentu saja, karena AAC+, jadinya sekarang masih bingung nyari program yang bisa diembed ke blognya salamaa. Masih dikit yang support encoder AAC+, rata-rata player terbaru dari winamp, iTunes, foobar2k, dsb. Mengingat ini peserta salamaa kebanyakan ibu RT, jadi -bukannya under estimate-,,, agak ragu kalo di kompie mereka terinstal audio player seri terbaru. Lebih mudah juga kan kalo tinggal browse blognya, terus ngeklik plugin di web itu...

so, anyone knows how to embed AAC+ streaming into website? Your suggestions are very welcome...
*Rachma dah googling, tapi belum nemu yang tepat*

Yang kepikiran sekarang baru seperti ini: [perlu audio player terinstal di kompie]

	Radio online Salamaa [AAC+ stream] Listen using Winamp 5.1 or higher Other options using VLC [linux], iTunes [Mac/PC], Foobar2k [PC], or Ampx [PC]

*Kalo gak terdengar apa-apa, ya berarti Rachma lagi gak siaran, heheheh *

Hari ini sunny banget... ini teh winter bukan?

You get what you pay for

Sebuah proverb yang tak asing, yang teringatkan lagi setelah baca review tentang berlian . Ujug-ujug tertarik untuk cari-cari info tentang jewelry kira-kira minggu kemaren, saat mu pergi menuju Lunteren.

Karena kumpulnya mesti jam 7, jadilah Rachma minta seorang temen untuk ngebuzz ym jam 6 pagi. Hari senin itu sebetulnya Rachma bangun jam 4, tapi cuman liat jam aja, udah gitu tidur lagi, hehehe. Sekitar jam 5, ym udah mulai bunyi-bunyi, dan yang kelintas adalah
"duh...berisiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiik"



bangun bentar, terus tidur lagi, heuheuheu. Abisnya ngantuuuuk pisan . Akhirnya bangun jam 6, itu pun karena temen Rachma terlalu semangat ngasi buzz nya, asli da berisik pisan . Ketika mandi, baru nyadar, kalo ada dua goresan di tangan Rachma, kerasa perih. Bingung, itu tangan tergores apa, soalnya dalem banget. mana di sini tuh susah banget keringnya kalau luka. Kurang oksigen kali yak, jadi fibrinogen susah beku, hehehe. Sampai sekarang pun masih kerasa, udah mulai kering, tapi masih agak sakit.

Jadwal shubuh saat itu jam 6.32, jadi tentu packing mukena mesti nunggu shubuh dulu. Setelah ngucapin makasih udah di buzz ymnya, sekitar jam 7 kurang sepuluh Rachma menuju kampus. Yay, pokokna masih gelap, dingin pula. Bersepeda melewati jalur selwerd, ketemu sama orang yang kayanya sih lagi jogging, pake setelan baju olah raga soalnya, dan tentu saja -tipikal orang sini- bawa-bawa anjing.

Dalam hati, amazed, niat betul tuh orang keluar pagi-pagi . Parkir sepeda di depan main entrance kampus, anginnya gede banget, dan belum ketemu siapa-siapa -masih jam tujuh kurang-. Tapi, lagi-lagi amazed, ternyata banyak banget yang jam 7 udah ke kampus, rata-rata sih udah tua gitu, wonder apa ya yang mereka mu kerjain. Kalo jam 7 pas summer sih wajar aja dah banyak yang ke kampus. Ini kan dingiiiin .

Menunggu sang Big Boss [ketua grup polimer], yang ternyata dateng jam setengah lapan.... ck ck... gimana sih ni, kok terlambat . Akhirnya Rachma pun pergi bareng beliau, bareng sama satu orang China dan satu orang Vietnam. Rachma milih duduk di belakang, biar bisa tidur tentunya . Perjalanan ke Lunteren kira-kira 2.5 jam. Di tengah jalan tiba-tiba, antara tidur dan nggak, Rachma denger professornya bilang kalo kita tuh lagi di Frisland, terus Rachma nginget-nginget... Frisland.... Frisland... nggg peta Belanda,,,,, sebelah mana sih? heuheuheuheu. Yang jelas pemandangannya bagus, dan ada kaya bendungan, or apa gitu, yang jelas liat hamparan air yang luas .

Sekitar jam 9 nyampe congressHotel De Werelt. Nyampe sana, ngambil name tag, dan salinan acara, terus check in, dapet kamar v7 [lantai 1]. Mereka salah nulis nama Rachma, in which I don't care. Yang lebih riweh adalah mantan daily supervisor, sampai ngasi saran buat minta ganti. Yang tentu saja, Rachma cuman komentar, they screw up my name, but I don't care. hehehe

Setelah nanya seseorang, di mana itu v7 , akhirnya Rachma menuju kamar. Setelah nyimpen tas, dilanjut menuju ruangan utama [Europe room] dan mengikuti kuliah-kuliah panjang, -bikin ngantuk, hehe-. Kebanyakan Rachma menghadiri presentasi di ruang Africa, soalnya temanya banyak berkaitan dengan riset sekarang, chemistry and biomedical . Dan tak lupa, menghadiri presentasi mantan daily supervisor. Dia presentasiin riset master Rachma, yang emang bagian dari projeknya dia. Pas dia lagi presentasi, supervisor Rachma komentar, "Rachma, you should give the animation to G*****". Rachma dulu pernah bikin animasi riset itu pake macromadia, and I said, "I gave the animation, but I don't know if he will use it in this presentation or not". Terus beliau ketawa dan bilang, "he doesn't know how to use it". Rachma ketawa-ketawa aja.
*Tuh nya, kalah ngobrol, sanes merhatikeun nu presentasi *

Di bagian acknowledgment, G***** bilang: "I acknowledge Rachmawati, who did the magic work on triblock copolymer", hehehe. Terus temen Rachma langsung bilang, "Rachma, nanti kamu mesti bilang ke G*****, complain, kenapa nama kamu ditulisnya kecil di slide itu, mestinya kan gede. Dia ketawa-ketawa, Rachma cuman senyum-senyum aja.

Overview ruangannya kaya gini [foto dari web hotelnya, soalnya memori HP Rachma penuh ]:











Yang jelas, bingung kalo mu makan, halal atau gak wallahu'alam. Pas jam makan, selalu nanya mana yang buat vegetarian, cuman bisa makan buah-buahan, gak bisa nyicip desert dari coklat atau krim yang terlihat enak-enak itu. Walau sempet makan biskuit -yang ntah halal ato gak- pas coffee break

-maaf ya Allah, abisnya lapar -

Pas jam makan malem, ketemu sama orang Pakistan, muslim juga. Terus jadinya makan bareng ma dia dan 3 orang India, yang lagi ngambil post doc. Mereka cerita tentang suasana lab masing-masing. Yang Rachma tangkap: orang-orang India itu niat betul buat ngerampok ilmunya . Keliatan banget kalo dia mau ngembangin risetnya itu untuk India. Ada yang bahkan menyembunyikan ide dari profesornya, hehehe. Kenalan sama mereka, komentar pertama adalah "you look so young...." [can I take that as compliment? ], dan bahkan dibilangin "if you are in India, people will guess you are 15 or even 13". Heeeee, langsung aja Rachma protes "I'm twenty twooooo". Dan mereka cuman ketawa-ketawa. Pas bagian desert, ternyata desertnya es krim, tampak yummy, tapi Rachma dan orang Pakistan memutuskan gak makan itu, soalnya kemungkinan gak halalnya gede. Yang orang India langsung komentar, "you don't like sweet food?", Rachma cuman menggelengkan kepala [bukan karena gak suka makanan manis, tapi karena takut haram krimnya...]. Terus dia bilang, "you should eat it, so that you can gain more weight". Jreng... jreng....
Rachma komentar, "I've tried to eat more than usual, but what I got was... I got sleepy easily, but my body stayed the same" .

Setelah selesai makan, ketemu sama orang Indo -akhirnyaaaaa, ada orang Indo juga di situuu-. Seharian itu, gak nemu satu orang Indo pun, yang cukup banyak tuh orang China, keliatan soalnya, ngegrup. Celingak celinguk pun, tetep we, di antara sekitar 250 orang peserta, gak ketemu orang Indo.

Nah, yang Bapak tadi itu asalnya orang Batak, udah 59 tahun ada di Belanda , kerja sebagai Technician di Twente, mulai dari organik, reologi, sampai... ngg... kalo gak salah dia megang rubber gitu sekarang? lupa, heheh. Dia orang yang boleh dibilang atheis, dia bilang dia percaya pada dirinya. Waktu itu, ada cewek Iran, yang lagi ngambil postdoc komentar : "you are your own prophet". Ngomong-ngomong tentang Iran, ya seperti yang Rachma pernah cerita, mahasiswa asal Iran lagi menghadapi kenyataan bahwa ujug-ujug timbul larangan mempekerjakan orang asal Iran di Eropa. Ketika kenalan, lagi dikomentarin, "are you really a PhD student??? you look very very young...". Dan jawabnya cuman heheh aja, sambil bilang "I'm 22" .

Senin malam itu ada acara poster session, yang tentunya jadi ajang minum-minum. Rachma minta jus buat ngilangin haus, terus karena dah gak kuat mencium bau bir, jadinya jam 9 pun udah ke kamar, tidur... hehehe. Padahal acaranya ampe jam 10an .

Besoknya, ya kembali mendengar kuliah-kuliah yang asli bikin ngantuk. Pokoknya pas lagi denger kuliah-kuliah umum itu, Rachma sempet mikir, kok dulu pas kuliah bisa ya tahan dua jam dengerin kuliah... apalagi pas sma, khusyu pisan dengerin gurunya.... ini padahal masing-masing presenter sekitar 20 menit, paling yang invited lecture 30 menit, tapi wooo, waktu seakan berjalan lambaaat.


What a long day. Acara hari selasa selse sekitar jam setengah lima. Nyampe YB sekitar jam 7 malem. That's it.

hehehehe, padahal itu harusnya jadi ajang menarik yak .

Sekarang...
oya, tentang berlian . Jadi, ntah angin apa, tiba-tiba Rachma terpikirkan masalah jewelry ini. I love something sparkling anyway
Jadilah Rachma browsing pages yang menampilkan produk berlian. Cukup susah nyari yang online shopping jewelry daerah Eropa. Nemunya di UK, tapi susah shipping. Kebanyakan di US, juga susah shippingnya. Duh....
Searching kali itu, lebih difokuskan nyari bracelet, tapi akhirnya jadi terfokus ke cincin. Setelah baca short review tentang diamond education, kira-kira reviewnya kaya gini :

*dari berbagai sumber*
Diamond biasanya dikarakterisasi dengan 4C. Rachma ngiranya ini 4 karbon, berhubung emang struktur kimia intan itu 4 karbon kan? . Tapi ternyata bukan itu, hehehe. Pas awal milih diamond, ada banyak potongan yang dihasilkan, tapi Rachma lebih suka bentuk round [bukan princess cut atau heart shape cut atau bentuk lain yang aneh-aneh itu . Gambar diambil dari web].

Menu selanjutnya adalah memilih yang 4C tadi.
1. Cut. Yang paling bagus adalah yang signature ideal, menggambarkan seberapa bagus cahaya masuk yang akan dipantulkan oleh diamond. Semakin baik cutnya, ya semakin sparkling


2. Carat. Beda dengan karat emas yang menandakan kadar, karat diamond lebih merepresentasikan berat dari diamond itu. Karatnya gede, ya lebih berat diamondnya. Jadi bukan prioritas, karena gak asik kan kalo diamondnya gede tapi gak terlalu sparkling .

3. Clarity. Yang paling bagus tentu saja flawless [FL], atau paling gak IF [internally flawless]. Selanjutnya VVSI1 [very very slight inclusions], VVSI2, VSI1, VSI2, SI1, SI2, ...
Berkaitan dengan struktur diamond hasil pemotongan, kalau yang gak bagus, dilihat langsung sama mata udah keliatan ada titik hitam di dalamnya, kalau yang bagus, mesti pakai loop baru bisa keliatan ada inklusi. Kalo yang flawless, suppose not to have inclusions, makanya harganya pun mahal abiiis.

4. Color. Yang paling bagus adalah warna D [colorless], selanjutnya E, F, .... Semakin jauh dari D, warnanya jadi agak kuning.

Dengan harga yang sama untuk spek yang sama, biasanya beda di tinggi dan lebar diamond. Terus, masih ada hal lain yang berpengaruh, kayak tingkat fluoresence dsb. Yeah, kayanya mesti niat banget kalo liat spek selain 4C. Kriteria lain yang lebih mudah yang merangkum semua adalah.... tingkat 'kelucuannya', hehehehe.

Setelah dapet diamond yang sesuai budget, sekarang tinggal milih logamnya. Yang paling mahal jelas platina , yang paling murni biasa ditulis P1000. Yang banyak dipake biasanya P950. Menyusul adanya emas putih [white gold, emas dicampur logam lain semisal rhodium], dan emas kuning [emas + logam lain kaya perak, tembaga, paladium, dsb]. Logam lain yang kuat adalah titanium, tapi tampak kurang keren kali yak, jarang yang pake soalnya . Tren emas yang dipake adalah 14 dan 18 karat, karena tentu saja kalo emas 22 karat yang dipake, gak akan cukup kuat nahan berliannya [ntar lepas lagi, kan sayang ]. Apalagi yang 24 karat, terlalu lembek buat nahan diamond.

Ada model cincin yang Rachma taksir, abis lucu sih . Modelnya kaya gini [gambar diambil dari web ini]:
















Ada satu lagi yang Rachma suka, masih model Danhov Meno,,, tipe Tubetto TE9, sayang webnya pake flash jadi gak dapet gambarnya, hehe. Bakal seneng banget kalo ada yang mau ngasih cincin kaya gitu , heuheuheu, either too generous, or want to get something from me in advance . Daripada nunggu, ya mending beli sendiri aja, hehehehe. Jadi, sedang mencari yang domisilinya deket James Allen, terus berkenan dititipin, dan ada rencana mampir ke Belanda, hehehe.

Untuk urusan platina, yang gosipnya kalo di Jepang lebih murah... jadilah Rachma ngontak temen di Jepun. Nanyain web online shopping yang bisa diliat, terus ntar nitip.
*hayoh we nitip *
Lagian, dia janji mu ngunjungin Rachma ke sini, awas kalo nggak . Hehehe, kaya yang murah aja ongkosnya, kan udah seharga satu cincin tuh tiket PP nya .

Pas Rachma nanya-nanya, orangnya langsung komentar "aya-aya wae Rachma teh. Bade meser cincin nya. Kanggo saha?"
--translated "ada-ada aja Rachma. Mu beli cincin ya. Buat siapa?"--.
Rachma jawabnya: "abis di sini bosen, jadi nyari yang menarik. Dan platina itu menarik, apalagi ada berliannya. Cincin buat Rachma, koleksi ". Hehe, males debat panjang-panjang.


Sempet baca-baca kalau cincin nikah lebih berbentuk 'band', jadi kadar 'kelucuannya' dikurangi . Lagian, siapa itu ya yang bikin peraturan kalo cincin nikah bentuknya band, cincin tunangan malah lebih fancy . Tak lupa menanamkan doktrin, sebuah hadist yang pernah Rachma baca, kira-kira bunyinya : Sebaik-baik wanita adalah yang mudah maharnya. Which, in other words, a woman who doesn't ask expensive mahar . Mahar itu kurang lebih menandakan 'harga' seorang calon istri. Terus, jadinya kelintas, gimana kalo maharnya yang biasa-biasa aja, tapi diamondnya sebagai hibah tambahan. Heheheh .

I love something simple, but it adds more content when I know the simple one has its best value. But again, it's not about something you have but it's about how you use it .

Oya, akhirnya Rachma dapet door pass...heuheuheu, senangnya. Sebulan kemaren kalo mu masuk kampus mesti nunggu orang yang bawa door pass. Heuh, riweh. Jadinya sekarang udah punya akses ngambil zat kimia juga, walo loginnya belum bisa akses database, kalo pas nanya-nanya orang China yang labnya tetanggaan, katanya login database chemicalnya aktif setelah 2 minggu -1 bulan dari mulai dapat doorpass. Weleh-weleh... ck..ck...
Terus, setelah yakin sama prosedur yang mu dicoba, udah mulai nanya-nanya juga tentang instalasi line vacuum dan nitrogen. Dulu-dulu orangnya pada sibuk nyiapin yang Lunteren itu.... dan seneng banget, Rachma boleh pake line vacuum & nitrogen di lab orang China itu sambil nunggu instalasi nitrogen/vacuum Rachma selse. Horeeee . Tinggal daftar login NMR, yang katanya bahkan bisa sampe 6 bulan baru jadi. Huehehehe, parah.

Tadi harinya sunny bangetttt. Emang beda lah winter sekarang, lebih hangat di banding tahun lalu [efek global warming panginten nya...]. Tapi tetep aja tidak tergerak keluar rumah, gak mood . Lebih nyaman nikmatin pemandangan luar dari kamar aja, sambil mantengin laptop, nonton, browsing ampe bosen. Soalnya semalem, pas rebahan di kursi terus ngeliat langit-langit kamar, tiba-tiba aja keingetan banyak hal, terus tiba-tiba sang air mata keluar sendiri . Dipaksain tidur, ngantuknya baru dateng sekitar jam 12an, dan pas tadi pagi bangun... masih kerasa gak mood. Liat sunny day cukup terhibur.

But, something is still missing somehow
and yes, you get what you pay for.

Finding Mr. Right

Judul iklan tickle yang muncul di inbox yahoomail, sedikit kontroversial . Sambil menunggu ngantuk, yang ntah kenapa pas nyampe YB kok ilang [padahal sebelumnya ngantuk pisaan ], jadilah ngeklik web tickle dan menjawab pertanyaan-pertanyaannya.

Pas hasilnya muncul... some are interesting... some are funny, some are true, some aren't . Well, quite representative though. Rachma cantumkan reportnya di sini. Bagi yang kurang suka tes psikologi, don't bother to read it then .

Rachmawati, when it comes to dating, you are a Social Realist. This means you have an outgoing nature that puts people at ease and can make you a magnet at social functions. Meeting new people is a source of fun and entertainment for you. During parties, you may find yourself in one in-depth conversation after another. You may also find that people open up to you about everything from past problems, to their secret dreams for the future. Your curiosity and interest in what makes people tick help make you a great conversationalist. The people you talk with appreciate a good listener, and you like getting a window into their inner workings. This approach can be a boost to your romantic life, since the more people you get to know, the more potential there is for finding that someone special.

Because you're typically not an impulsive romantic, you're unlikely to be overtaken by waves of emotion or swoon for a pretty face when first meeting someone. In matters of the heart, you tend to find that it's more fun to let things develop. After all, Rome wasn't built in a day, and a solid relationship won't be either. By taking it slow, not only do you learn things about potential partners and their interests, you can also enjoy getting to know yourself. This insight can only make you a better catch when you find "the one." In the meantime, the more people you meet, the more you can come to understand the world and your place in it.

Based on your answers to the test, we can also tell that you've often relied on destiny to guide your romantic life. Tending to sit back and let the universe do its work, you may expect that one day you'll simply bump into your ideal mate like lovers do in the movies. Perhaps you've even found yourself saying, "When the time is right, love will find me." Because of this approach, meeting new people can feel like a random event. So far your search for love has demanded that you be in the right place at the right time. Sometimes fate works like a charm. After all, your past relationships have probably come from places you'd never expect. Still, if you've failed to make a proactive plan to meet people up until now, you may have found that you've gone for long stretches without dating anyone at all. If you take just a little time and make just a little effort to direct your search a bit, you could increase your chances of meeting someone right for you.

Meeting Your Match: Where to Begin

There are many ways you can find love. But based on your personality, your best bet is to take advantage of your comfort in social situations and your ability to connect with people. Whether talking to your dearest friends or to a complete stranger, when you take the time to listen and share your thoughts and feelings, special things can happen. Indeed, the rapport you can develop with people is one of your great strengths. Use this asset to its fullest potential on the road to finding your mate. Because you often prefer to take time to interact with romantic prospects rather than rely on an initial attraction, realize that everyone in your social circle has the potential to become "the one." It's all about uncovering the unique traits that will make them special to you.


Preparing to date: Your Personalized Checklist

You've just learned about your dating personality and how it can affect your approach to finding love. Now let's turn to some practical ways you can better prepare yourself to find your mate. Based on your characteristics, here are the top 6 guidelines to help you meet your match.


1. Be self-aware
The more you are in touch with your own likes, dislikes, behaviors, and shortcomings, the more equipped you'll be to find love. Not only will self-knowledge aid you once you're in a relationship, but it can also help you to feel at ease when meeting new people. When you know yourself, you can be yourself, and this brings a whole new kind of confidence to your dating style.

Just how can one become more self-aware? The most basic way is by paying attention to your actions and feelings in different situations. For a more complete view, consider asking the people who know you best, and who will be truthful, to tell you their perceptions of you. Sometimes it's hard to hear what others think of us, but be brave. You might be pleasantly surprised by what they have to say. No matter what, you'll gain valuable insights into your character.

2. Ditch your personal baggage
When a relationship ends, you're typically left with a random collection of photos, fond memories, stray T-shirts, and mementos. However, what you may not realize is that each relationship also leaves a little something behind in your psyche, a reminder of the experiences you shared with another person. Some of these mental marks can be positive, like memories of laughter, special moments together, and thoughts about the times when you felt completely loved and accepted. Other marks are not so positive. Unfortunately, most people have had at least one relationship that ended poorly or one person who treated them unfairly. If you've ever been hurt like this, you know it can leave a chip on your shoulder that you carry into dating and future relationships.

No one wants to feel pain, but to truly connect with someone, it's best to leave your preconceptions at the door. Just because one love used to lie to you doesn't mean your next one will. Don't cower behind your old fears. And don't presume that if a new interest shares one characteristic with an old flame, that they share all characteristics with that person. Similarly, if you always had to nag your old flame, don't start into your new relationship where you left off with your old flame. Don't start your relationship off on the wrong foot by showing your new interest you're going to nag them for no reason.

Because you know what you want in your perfect partner, you may tend to get caught up in the person you were with, rather than their actions. When someone fulfills your list of ideals, you can overlook what they are really doing to make your relationship special. By being focused on getting what you think you want (this perfect person), you may miss key moments in your relationship. You might even go so far as to overlook how your partner treats you, whether they're supportive and kind, or whether they take your needs to heart, in favor of the things you desire about them. If you've ever been focused this way, it can come as a shock when a relationship ends — particularly if you thought things were going well. After this kind of pain, it's easy to feel wary of getting involved again. You fear getting hurt — but eventually you get back out there. When you are ready to date again, be careful of repeating this pattern. The next time that you find yourself becoming serious with someone, try to notice not only the person but their actions towards you as well. This will greatly increase your chances of recognizing when you find a lasting love that truly was meant to be.

3. Love yourself for who you are
Chances are, there are some aspects of yourself that you like, and others you're not so crazy about. You may love that you're friendly and easygoing, but detest that you sometimes let people walk all over you. You might appreciate that you have your mother's beautiful eyes, but be endlessly frustrated that she also passed along that short gene to you. Everyone has parts of themselves that they'd like to change - although they may not readily admit to them. Rather than harp on the aspects you don't like, psychologists encourage you to begin accepting yourself as a whole person, warts and all. Remember that no one is perfect and everyone has faults. It may sound cliché, but it is our differences that make us unique. Those who can realize this truth and accept themselves for better and for worse are best able to connect with another person to find love.

4. Increase your self-esteem
Feeling good about yourself is one of the most attractive qualities you can possess. Whether you realize it or not, positivity radiates in ways that people can feel. Think about the last time you saw someone who was really at ease. They may have seemed to glide right into the room and chances are, they got more than one person's attention. But it's all well and good to say, "Feel good about yourself," when the fact of the matter is that some days are better than others.

Self-esteem fluctuates and certain events that affect it are beyond your control. However, once you know how a particular type of situation is likely to affect you, you have much more power over the repercussions. For example, if a friend of yours has a habit of making snide remarks that put you down, it's likely that you always feel bad about yourself after spending time with them. In such a case, you have options. You can stop spending time with your friend or speak up for yourself until the remarks stop. By taking either action, rather than just letting the pattern continue, you make positive steps towards building that kind of self-esteem that attracts partners.

5. Get in the right mindset
Because you know that you are relatively good at meeting people and can talk to them with ease, use these skills to your advantage when going out. Before you head out the door to mix and mingle, set at least one attainable goal for yourself — something you know that you can accomplish before the night is over. No need to raise the bar too high at first; you want to set yourself up for success rather than failure. You might tell yourself, "I will speak with at least 2 new people tonight," or, "I will smile at three complete strangers in every single place I go." Once you've met your initial objective, feel free to up the ante. Set goals that may be beyond what you think you are capable of doing, and then see what you are made of. You might not reach every goal, but chances are, you'll be pleasantly surprised by what you can accomplish, and how people will react to you.

6. Last minute tips
To further prepare yourself to get out there and meet the perfect partner, here are some thoughts to keep in mind wherever you are, to maximize your dating potential.

So much goes into making a connection with someone, particularly with individuals to whom you're attracted. Meeting and interacting with new people can be overwhelming at times. To alleviate some of this undue pressure, one of the best things you can do is go into any situation where you might meet someone with a positive attitude. Several steps can help you.

First, prior to going out, try meditating or taking some deep breaths so that you can socialize with a clear head.

Second, when you're out and about, remember to smile and make eye contact with people. There's no need to grin or stare unnaturally. Just relax as much as you can and stay open to the people around you.

Lastly, when you find yourself talking to new people that you might like to date, ask them questions about themselves. Not only will this approach help you decide whether a particular prospect would make a good match, it's also likely to put the person you're chatting with at ease. Most people love to talk about themselves and their interests, and they will typically appreciate that you've taken an interest in them.

Remember that a lot of the advice people give you about life in general still applies to dating. If someone doesn't respond to you in the way that you had hoped, don't take it personally. Instead of being self-critical, try to think of the situation in a new way. If someone didn't smile back at you, maybe they were having a bad day. If a person didn't laugh at your jokes, perhaps you two simply don't share the same sense of humor. Think of these kinds of situations as saving you a good deal of time and energy. Your efforts are best spent on people who can enjoy and appreciate you. It's far too exhausting trying to figure out how to please people and make them laugh if they don't share a number of commonalities with you.

The Dating Scene: Get Out There

Once you've taken some time working with the advice in the previous sections, you'll be ready to get out there and apply what you've learned. Don't expect yourself to have fully mastered these tips before taking the plunge into dating.

Perfect self-esteem, complete self-knowledge, and zero emotional baggage are not realistic precursors for meeting someone special. If they were, no one would date. Instead, you can simply be aware of these ideas and learn about yourself as you go. In fact, committing to evolving as an individual and acknowledging there are still things for you to improve is the best way to come into a relationship that will need the same kind of commitment, attention, and love.

It may seem as if you've hit a wall in the dating process and have exhausted all your options to meet someone you care about. You may even feel as if the people to whom you're attracted simply don't understand you, or appreciate what a catch you are. Try not to let these feelings get you down. Make the best use of your determined spirit and try different approaches to getting to know people, from bravely approaching new strangers to reconnecting with old friends. As you experiment with different ways of interacting, note what works for you and what could be improved. Over time you can fine-tune these suggestions to make them a part of your natural routine.

You may have tried some of these suggestions before, but do yourself a favor and try them again. Because you are likely to have just learned a good deal about yourself, you may find that the techniques work differently now. Also, know that some suggestions may feel awkward to you at first. It's often hard to try new things. Only practice makes perfect.

So here's the first thing you can try: use networking to your advantage.


How to use networking to your advantage

Most people think of networking as being limited to the business arena. The word likely conjures up images of people in suits trading business cards, or someone seeking leads to find a job, or a sales person making connections to find new clients. But networking is much more than a way of doing business. It's a practice that can help you in your search to find your ideal mate.

Networking is all about using your current connections to make future ones. This technique can be put to use easily in your search for someone special. Almost anyone in your social circle is likely to have friends or acquaintances who are single and looking for a date. Just think of how many people you know — friends, work colleagues, neighbors. You can probably compile quite a long list. The key is to access this vast resource in a way that fits with your personality.

Networking offers many opportunities to meet new people and it can work for anyone — even in your shier moments — if you're willing to take a risk. As discussed above, it can be difficult to connect with people who you don't know. This being the case, it would be best to begin your networking attempts with people with whom you share a common interest. Why not try joining an organization that is dedicated to discussing your field of work? You can find a group for almost any field including engineering, medicine, marketing, and parents groups. These organizations are typically easy to join and immediately provide you with the chance to meet people who like doing the same things and have similar views on at least some larger issues.

Another suggestion you might want to try is to join the alumni association of your high school or college. Think about how easily you could strike up a conversation about "the good old days" with someone you grew up with. A past is a great thing to have in common. By participating in activities that bring your classmates together, you're likely to rekindle old friendships and form new ones. Surprisingly, you may find that people you never even spoke to during school now turn out to be the ones with whom you have the most in common. As you reminisce and forge new ties, you can also seek out networking connections who may lead you to Mr. Right.

Finally, if you're looking for a real networking challenge, consider bringing your friends into the mix. This suggestion may not necessarily fit with your typical impulses, but why not try something new? Ask friends if they know any single, available people who could be a good match for you. When dating prospects turn up, have your friends set them up with you. This alleviates the pressure of making the first move. Dates may work out, and they may not. That's the nature of dating. Either way, you can be proud of yourself because you've broken out of usual behaviors to get yourself that much closer to finding "the one."

Tadinya mu nulis tentang Lunteren... tapi kapan-kapan aja deh, ngantuknya udah dateng .
[Welcome, sleepy... time to take journey to the dreamland, huh? Ikimashouuuuu... ]

A day missed

Baru bangun tidur...
pening


and I don't like the feeling I have this time. Kind of worried, a little bit of anger, and a piece of disappointment. Gejala ini biasanya Rachma rasain kalo emang lagi khawatir :P, bangun tidur abis mimpiin hal-hal jelek, atau karena minum kopi [efek kafein]. Rachma dah lama banget gak konsumsi kopi, dan nggak pula lagi khawatir, dan gak inget pula rincian tadi tuh mimpi apa. Perlu sesuatu untuk mengalihkan perhatian, and it's writing , lagi gak mood buat nge-youtube, heheh.

Anyway, besok Rachma mu ke Lunteren, ada seminar "Dutch polymer days". Acaranya dua hari. Diliat dari list reservasi hotel, tampaknya Rachma akan sekamar dengan orang jerman, PhD student, and of course a vrouw .

Oya, Rachma mau cerita. Minggu-minggu lalu ada undangan masuk ke email. Isinya, lunch invitation for chemistry female scientist [PhD student dan female tennure track dan female professor] hari Selasa, minggu kemaren. Sounds feminist?

And yes, it is. Feminis banget lah, hehehehe. Setelah nanya-nanya di mana itu ruangan VIP, ternyata Rachma lewat ruangan itu tiap hari , heuheu, dan ruangan itu ternyata bernomor 'satu'. Pas dateng ke ruangan, nggg... Para PhDs sedang berkumpul!
agak ngeri , hehehe .
Kalau di lab pun, suka ngeri kalo liat para mahasiswa PhD itu berkumpul dan asik dengan diskusi risetnya. Yang nanti di Lunteren, Rachma akan liat lebih banyak para scientists berkumpul. Kenapa ngeri? karena... there are so many potential knowledges running between their heads , heheh.

Oya, pertemuan bulanan itu dipimpin oleh R** B****, beliau sempet ke Indo beberapa bulan lalu untuk mewawancara para kandidat beasiswa . Siapa menyangka kalau beliau ternyata sangat keibuan. Ah, pokoknya ya, inti pertemuannya lebih ke ajang curhat, cerita-cerita, dan ajang menyuarakan hak-hak ilmuwan perempuan. I was amazed, really. Pas cerita ada kasus-kasus defense yang di luar dugaan, contoh:

Ada phd student, perempuan, defense terakhir. Defensenya lancar, bagus. Saat itu, R** berlaku sebagai promotor mahasiswi tersebut. Terus, kan di akhir itu sebelum ngasi degree, supervisornya ngasi speech. Yang bikin kagetnya, speech supervisor ini sangaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat kasar, jahat, nyakitin. Berhasil membuat mahasiswi tadi nangis, dan membuat R** emosi, yang mana beliau masih bisa meng-handle, meminta MC meng-cut. Untungnya di acara defense itu, ortu mahasiswinya gak hadir, karena kalau hadir, ntah bagaimana reaksinya mendengar anaknya dihina abis-abisan kaya gitu. Singkat cerita, R** menegur supervisor tadi beberapa hari setelahnya, - dengan kata-kata yang betul-betul di luar dugaan akan keluar dari seorang promotor sekelas R** - . Dan sang supervisor pun tampak sangat shocked, sampai akhirnya kena serangan jantung masuk rumah sakit. See? .

Untungnya sang mahasiswi udah dapet kerja di sebuah perusahaan bonafid di Holland. Let's say... mahasiswi ini tidak berani konfront dengan supervisornya. Almost everyone in the room agreed that what her supervisor had done was terrible. Dan Rachma pun bingung kenapa kok bisa kaya gitu.

Anyway, I find it's interesting that in fact, female scientist are less than male. Bahwa ternyata segitu niatnya R** meng-encourage kami, [future] female scientist , untuk tetap semangat dalm berkarya. [Halah, jadi asa nasionalis kieu, heheheh :P]. Pantesan kalo liat lowongan beasiswa, sering ada tulisan 'woman applicant are strongly encouraged to apply...'.
Yang lucu lagi, katanya sekarang telah diberlakukan larangan menerima mahasiswa asal Iran kuliah di Eropa, karena dikhawatirkan mereka akan 'mencuri' ilmu/informasi tentang nuklir. They called that nonsense, and the university had been trying to find the solution. Well, as you know, a chemist always has solution :P.

peningnya masih kerasa, tapi harus segera istirahat biar besok bisa bangun pagiiiiiiiiiiiiii , kumpulnya jam 7 pagi [ di mana itu masih gelap sodara-sodara...dingin deuih ]. Kalau ym besok jam 6 pagi CET [jam 12 siang WIB] terlihat idle, buzz dunkkkk

-kangen Indo, kangen... semua ... kalau lagi ngerasa gak nyaman gini, tidur di pangkuan Mama manjur banget tuh.... -



Kimi ni aitakute... aitakute....

Taking chances

Taking chances....
someone has to be very brave to take a chance. It reminds me a lot about how important courage is. That it is not a time to be vulnerable nor dependent. It's time to take chances .

Sejarahnya Rachma ngambil judul 'taking chances' adalah, again, karena theme song minggu ini adalah lagu berjudul taking chances . Nemu lagu itu karena, again, nyari lagu-lagu terbarunya Celine Dion. Nga-you tube we terus, ampe bosen...

Dibalik kontroversi di mana lagu ini pernah dikeluarin tahun lalu oleh sang pencipta lagu sekaligus vokalis Platinum Weird, jadi di sini Rachma embedkan dua-duanya aja, hehehehe. Sebenernya sih lagunya lebih cocok dinyanyiin ma sang pencipta lagu, karena suaranya lebih berat, lebih cocok untuk genre lagu itu. Kalau suara Celine itu kan lebih soft, jadinya ya tergantung selera. Kalau mau yang lebih nge-beat, dengerin versi Platinum Weird, tapi kalo mu ngedengerin more tender voice, ya dengerinnya versi Celine

Don't know much about your life.
Don't know much about your world, but
Don't want to be alone tonight,
On this planet they call earth.

You don't know about my past, and
I don't have a future figured out.
And maybe this is going too fast.
And maybe it's not meant to last,

But what do you say to taking chances,
What do you say to jumping off the edge?
Never knowing if there's solid ground below
Or hand to hold, or hell to pay,
What do you say,
What do you say?

I just want to start again,
And maybe you could show me how to try,
And maybe you could take me in,
Somewhere underneath your skin?

What do you say to taking chances,
What do you say to jumping off the edge?


Never knowing if there's solid ground below
Or hand to hold, or hell to pay,
What do you say,
What do you say?

And I had my heart beaten down,
But I always come back for more, yeah.
There’s nothing like love to pull you up,
When you’re laying down on the floor there.
So talk to me, talk to me,
Like lovers do.
Yeah walk with me, walk with me,
Like lovers do,
Like lovers do.

What do you say to taking chances,
What do you say to jumping off the edge?
Never knowing if there's solid ground below
Or hand to hold, or hell to pay,
What do you say,
What do you say?

Don’t know much about your life
And I don’t know much about your world

Suka liriknya [kalo gak suka gak akan Rachma pasang di blog ]. So, are you ready to take chances?

Flash back minggu ini,,, mm hari senin kemaren ke Zwolle, sendirian . Sepertinya sudah mulai terbiasa jalan-jalan sendirian... [anggap aja Bandung, heheheh]. Demi mendapat tiket yang murah, akhirnya beli discount card seharga 55 euro, berlaku satu tahun. Jadilah dapet tiket return dengan diskon 40%, tetep we mahal 16 euro sekian . Dengan belinya korting kaart ini sebetulnya menjadi alasan: harus sering-sering jalan-jalan, biar kartunya kepake :P.
Nyampe Zwolle, bermodalkan petunjuk yang dikasi ISD (International Service Desk), ah teu ngaruh petunjuknya, jadi aja mengikuti ke mana kaki melangkah . Dan lebih manjur, heuheuheu. Karena jadinya ngeliat setiap petunjuk jalan, dan selalu ada panah mengarah ke IND (Immigratie en Naturalisatie Dienst)+politie.

Sampe di IND, ya tentunya ke resepsionis dulu, lapor diri sambil nunjukkin bukti appoinment. Terus dari sana nunggu bentar, yang akhirnya menuju loket 8.
Katemu petugasnya, seperti biasa dikasi stiker verblijf [lumayan, ngoleksi tanda imigrasi ], dan tak lupa, bayar! :P.... 188 euro. Oya, padahal ya, sebelumnya Rachma dah ngambil tabungan 200 euro buat verblijf, terus ngambil lagi 70 euro buat korting kaart. Dan betenya ternyata di kasanya itu tersedia debit,,,, Tau gitu mah gak akan bawa-bawa uang tunaiiii , karena toh jadinya pas bikin korting kaart pun debit juga yang dipake.

Ada juga hal lain yang bikin jreng-jreng. Ternyata akta kelahiran yang dah cape dilegalisasi ke dept sipil-kehakiman-deplu-kedubes, ternyata gak diperlukan, karena data Rachma dah ada di database mereka... heuuuuuu tau gitu mah atuh dulu gak usah repot-repot buat ngerepotin orang lain, tepatnya maksa orang buat bantuin legalisasi .

Oya, dapet kartu baru dari ABN AMRO, padahal Rachma lebih suka kartu yang dulu , yang sekarang tuh transparan, keliatan ringkih, walopun ada tanda yp=young professional, tetep aja, asa kurang keren kartunya . Tapi lumayan lah, berlakuna ampe 2012, nambah jatah satu tahun dari kartu sebelumnya .

Segera setelah selse dari IND... hari Rabu Rachma menuju ruangan sekretaris minta reimburse.... Hehehe, tadi pas ngecek tabungan seneng juga, reimburse tiket+fiskal+pajak dah masuk. Jadi ngerasa lebih aman karena dana buat saving bulanan di rekening yp untuk februari ini tertutupi. Rachma mesti nampilin track record tabungan yang baik sebelum apply credit card, hehe


Pulang dari Zwolle sebenernya sekitar setengah dua, tapi dilanjut belanja, dan memutuskan gak ke kampus hari senin itu . Pas hari Selasa ke lab... tadaaaaa ... akhirnya komputer Rachma tiba juga... LCD widescreen dengan spek gaming . Heuheu, mungkin itu maksudnya biar nampilin grafik-grafik riset lebih bagus, dan bisa nge-run SW riset lebih optimal . Akhirnya pindahlah Rachma ke kantor resmi, yang letaknya di ujuuuuuuuuuuuung koridor. Halah, pokokna sepi pisan. Enaknya, dapet lab pribadi, heuheuheu. Asli eta mah bebas menguasai lab . Tapi jadinya banyak peralatan yang mesti diset up sendiri, yang kalo kata temen lab "that's part of the job". Pas awal-awal, kalo pulang ke kamar, serasa screen laptop 15 inch tuh kerasa keciiil pisan, terus performanya asa lambat . Emang ya, sesuatu itu tergantung pembandingnya . Jadi aja, semua kena hukum relativitas....

Di kantor baru... yang jelas sepi pisan labna. Terus... sekarang Rachma sholat di lab sebelah kantor, da gak ada yang pake, cuman sayangnya gak ada heaternya... jadi dinginnnn. Terus kalo mu ke coffee room teh jadi jauuuh, ujung koridor satu ke koridor yang lain.... olah raga pisan deh pokoknya.

Terus tadi, kan Rachma teh lagi bikin puding ya. Awalnya maksud masukkin tupper ware ke microwave tuh biar kering [abis dicuci, mu dipake buat tempat puding]. Di tupperwarenya tuh ada sendok sama pisau. Terus aja Rachma set waktunya kira-kira 3 menit [da biasanya juga kalo mu ngeringin tupper ware, berarti males ngambil lap kering :P, ya segitu].
Di akhir menit ke-3, Rachma buka tuh microwave... dan ting... tung... ternyata sang tupperware meleleh dan jadi bolong mengikuti bentuk sendok dan pisau . Don't do that again... . Jadinya tupperware, sendok dan pisaunya menyatu dan gak bisa dipake lagi.

Segera setelah membuat puding lapisan pertama, Rachma inget mesti ngerebus daging, sambil nyiapin adonan lain, puding coklat. Daaaan, gak ketahuan ternyata air dagingnya teh meluap membasahi kompor. , jadi aja mesti beberes kompor dulu . Ah, pokoknya lieur kalo masak paralel teh...

-ngantuk -