Blooming

Horeeee, akhirnya lewat masa umur 22... dengan kata lain, jatah umur berkurang satu tahun...
Hmm, dah cukup belum nih bekal menuju negeri akhirat?


Ntah kenapa,,, emang selalu kerasa belum cukup... [mungkin karena nyadar masih sering melakukan kesalahan-kesalahan gak perlu... ]. Udah tau itu teh salah... tapi dengan gak tau dirinya tetep aja dilakukan, duh...

Kalo tahun lalu mah pas milad teh yang kepikiran adalah "pengen nemu jati diri".... kalau tahun sebelumnya... teracuni salah satu judul buku "biarkan bidadari surga cemburu padamu"... kalau tahun sebelumnya, tahun bersejarah memulai umur kepala dua, yang kelintas adalah " tidaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaak, udah tua gening Rachma teh, harus dewasaaa "

Kalo untuk tahun ini mah, jargon yang terbentang adalah,

"biarkan bidadari surga hormat padamu"

karena setelah dipikir-pikir... kalimat "biarkan bidadari surga cemburu padamu" teh asa kurang tepat... [maaf, no offense untuk pengarang... peace yak ]. Apa coba gunanya membuat makhluk lain cemburu, apalagi ini dari jenis female-related, hehehe. Women are extremely scary when they are in jealousy....
hihihi, teu nyambung sebenerna mah .


Tapi emang banyak hal yang ngingetin, Rachma teh emang udah tua, heuheuheu, jadi... mau tidak mau emang harus lebih dewasa, lebih bijak. Kalo bunga mah, udah saatnya mekar, jangan kuncup mulu... [ini mah terinspirasi musim semi, hihihi ].


Yang mau dibenahi beberapa waktu ke depan, mudah-mudahan masih ada umur:

-Kalibrasi
Yap, pengen mengalibrasi hati dan pikiran... pengen bener-bener menapaki jalan nu dipikaridho ku Allah... Mu ngapain coba senang-senang nurutin hawa nafsu di dunia, tapi pas dipanggil di persidangan Allah, ternyata timbangannya berat ke sebelah kiri.
Duh, naudzubillah....
Ini termasuk mengalibrasi hawa-hawa ill feel sama cowok, kekekek... . Emang sering kelintas sih, karunya pisan dia teh disuudhan-in sama Rachma.
*dia refers to sapapun cowok :P*


Pengen bener-bener ngabebenah sholat, terutama yang wajib, pleus yang sunahnya juga... pengen lebih rutin lagi shaum sunnah, istiqomah sholat malemna oge [nabung amal... ]. Oya, sekarang Rachma lagi punya hobi baru, baca Qur'an pleus terjemahnya dah kaya baca novel. Maaf ya Allah, bukannya Rachma mensejajarkan derajat Qur'an sama Novel. Tapi lebih ke... menikmati flow isi Al-Qur'an, dan Rachma mendapati kalo Al-Qur'an itu seru buat dipelajari ;). [Ketauan iyeu teh, dulu-dulu mah kalo baca teh nya baca we.... jarang pake acara baca terjemahnya... hihihihi]. Qur'an teh udah kaya teman dikala lonely, huehehehe. Karena kalo lagi baca Al-Qur'an itu... suka kelintas, kan disamping kiri kanan teh aya malaikat yah, sigana malaikat mah udah yang khusyuuu banget kalo diperdengarkan ayat Al-Qur'an... da emang mereka mah makhluk yang selalu taat. Suka ujug-ujug terharu, dan malu sendiri. Cenah manusia teh khalifah di muka bumi, tapi ibadahna masih........duh, malu ah. Dan kalo baca Al-Qur'an itu kerasa banget kaya ngobrol... [segini lonelynya meureun yah, hihihi :D], jadi kalo baca lama-lama teh... suka aja, jadi obat penat, jadi kerasa refresh lagi. Cuman kalo pas baca yang bagian "yaa ayyuhalladziina aamanu", wonder dan suka deg-degan... Rachma termasuk yang dipanggil itu gak ya... duh, pengen... .


Tapi sekarang teh lagi bermasalah mindah waktu sholat malem. Lamun di Indo mah pan sholat malem teh jam 3 jam 4, ya,,, deket-deket shubuh lah. Ayeuna mah, susah pisan bangun sebelum shubuh teh, hihihi, kalo ngeset alarm pun ya bangun buat matiin alarm aja . Jadi sholat malemnya sesudah shalat isya... asa kurang afdol, tapi yah, kalo niatna lurus mah, afdol-afdol aja kali yak . Padahal bercita-cita kalo udah punya suami teh, pengen ngebangunin beliau buat shalat malem bareng. Ini mah bangun deket shubuhnya aja susah pisan, heuheuehue.... Groningen kondusif buat tidur sih... [pembenaran ].


Kadang suka nyindir diri sendiri: "sholat malem tuh jangan cuma karena ada butuhnya aja Neng, harus jadi habit itu... kan dalam rangka meningkatkan derajat diri ". Pernah denger gak, kalo filosofi shalat malem itu seperti layaknya undangan jamuan. Jadi tiap malem itu, Allah mengadakan jamuan [ini maksudnya jamuan pahala kali yak, pleus banyak bonus kaya maqbulnya do'a, hehehe]. Harusnya kan sumangat pisan itu, soalnya kalo ada jamuan makan gratis, pasti semangat banget :D, ini dikasi kesempatan jamuan pahala banyak... kan harusnya lebih semangat lagi ;), secara kan itu teh emang poin yang dikumpulin buat bekal menuju negeri akhirat .


Kalo dari segi hafalan, ya pengen nambah hafalan Qur'an sama hadist, pleus do'a-do'a. Tapi kadang Rachma suka mikir juga, kenapa ya mesti hafal hadist?... bukannya yang penting mah esensinya yak? Tapi kalo bisa apal emang nilai pleus sih, jadi kalo debat sama orang rese yang mainnya pengen pake hadist mulu, bisa defense, hihihi [luruskan niat Neng ]. Kalau do'a mah... ya biar nambah-nambah atuh, biar bukan cuman lafal basmallah aja yang diucapkan, jadi kan catatan amalnya lebih gaya gitu, huehehe. Udah gitu, demi mebiasakan anak berdo'a sebelum melakukan sesuatu, berarti kan Mamanya mesti afal tuh do'a-do'a. Kan anak mah suka ikut-ikutan ya, jadi kalo Mamanya biasa membacakan do'a, walo dia saat itu belum ngerti apa artinya, ya minimal dibiasain dulu gitu .


-Jadi cewek
hehehe, emang selama ini apa?
heueheheu
Banyak hal yang sifatnya cewek yang Rachma tinggalin sejak masuk ITB. Alasannya... sibuk atuh, mahasiswi ITB tea... tugas seabrek kan , mana sempet nyentuh lagi hal-hal feminin, hihihi. Yang Rachma soroti di sini yang ada hubungannya ma cooking, bakery, knitting, and sewing. Tapi kalo menjahit mah tidak feasible diteruskan di sini...[males atuh kalo mesti beli mesin jahit di dieu mah].
Euh, pokokna ITB mah berhasil membuat Rachma jauh-jauh dari "dunia cewek", terus aja ngagugulung text book . Padahal Rachma suka banget kalo dah main-main sama benang dan jarum. Abisna bisa berkarya menuangkan imajinasi eta teh, biar barang-barang di sekeliling jadi lebih "lucu". Hayah, pokokna kalo udah berkaitan sama yang "lucu" teh... harus lebih kuat iman, hihihi . Di kantor status sih sciencetist, kalo dah di luar jam kerja mah... nya harus jadi cewek . Tapi sekarang teh, udah ada akulturasi antara bereksperimen di lab sama masak di dapur, hehehe. Jadi kalo lagi masak, kepikiran kaya... ini kalo nambahin segini, konsentrasinya berapa yak, kalo api segini, iodinnya nguap gak ya... kalo dibakar suhu segini, kandungan karbon yang dihasilkan berapa ya... kan karsinogenik tuh, kalo ini segini itu segitu pas gak ya perbandingan fraksi molnya... hueheheheheh, masak apa praktikum Neng?


-Riset
Harus banyak sabar sama riset ini mah, hihihih. Alhamdulillah supervisorna subhanallah baik pisan [semoga Allah menurunkan hidayah-Nya pada beliau ]. Udah keliatan kalo beliau teh mulai berkecenderunagn seneng meng-hire orang Indo, hehehe. Demi bisa berlibur dengan tenang ke Indo juga sih, harus bener dulu risetnya . Yosh, ganbatte ne...!!!


-Keuangan
Makin ke sini Rachma emang ngerasa makin tua, hahahaha. Semua, yang nyangkut uang,,, diitung untung ruginya, kekekek. Ini kayaknya mulai terinduksi jalan pikir Mama kalo dah nyangkut keuangan: investasi sebanyak-banyaknya . Mama tampak semangat sekali memanage uang Rachma, hihihi, dasar sang manager, Rachma mah iya-iya aja deh, heuheuehu. Lagi mikir-mikir untuk invest di wiraswasta. Yeah, we'll see lah. Dengan prinsip Mama yang unik: invest di bisnis mah jangan mikir dulu keuntungan, ini mah sarana belajar aja, kalo untung ya alhamdulillah, kalo rugi ya ikhlaskan. Wess, Mama gaya, heuheuheu. Rachma jadi teracuni untuk invest di mana-mana, hahahah. Yang jelas mah kudu dibayar dulu zakat ma shadaqahnya. Tapi, yang lucu itu... kalo dah mulai mikir invest dalam bentuk rumah, suka rada males. Soalnya kepikirannya gini: ngapain punya suami atuh, kalo rumah juga mesti Rachma yang mikirin, hehehe .


Lagi mikir juga gimana bisa bikin gaji tuh manfaat buat banyak orang, bukan cuma buat Rachma aja... [inget Neng, harta mah moal dicandak ka akherat, nu manfaat mah amal... amal... Hidup amal!! heuheuheu, yang namanya amal jadi terkenal, hihihi ;))]


-Gain weight
Harus pokoknya, harus nambah berat badan. Walo susehna pisaaaan , padahal Rachma udah makan lebih dari porsi cewek, hahahah , tapi susah naik mudah turunnya, kekekek. Banyak pikiran cenah itu teh, tapi da Rachma mah emang gak suka kalo gak mikirin sesuatu teh, hihihi. Targetnya 45 aja. Prestasi sigana lamun bisa nyampe kadinya, heuheuheu. Wonder sebenernya, insulin yang diproduksi dalam tubuh teh banyak pisan gitu, ampe metabolismenya cepet pisan....


-Ik spreek Nederland
Yeee, pokokna mah pengen bisa ngomong in Dutch . Sekarang udah mulai kerasa "feel" dan excited buat mempelajari bahasa yang satu ini.... Biasanya kalo dah ada excitednya, lebih semangat buat mempelajari sesuatu ampe tuntas, hehe. Walopun belum sampe ke tahap nganggap bahasa Belanda itu "lucu", hihihi, kecuali kalo liat anak kecil berdarah Indo ngomong Dutch, emang lucu sih .

-Jodoh
Hehehe, kadang Rachma mikir,,, jangan-jangan ... permintaan do'a yang membludak di kerajaan langit adalah permintaan jodoh, hihihihi. Hmm,,, yah, we'll see deh. Rachma yakin bakal ketemu jodoh pada saat yang tepat, dengan orang yang tepat. Pokoknya husnudhan sama Allah aja, biar gak pusing .

Mmm... apalagi ya... yah gambaran resolusinya kira-kira kaya gitu, intinya mah pengen memperbaiki diri, gak pengen buang-buang waktu percuma... pengen nabung banyak bekal buat negeri akhirat.


Rachma ngucapin banyak makasih pada yang masih ingat milad Rachma, terharuuuu . Thank you soooo much for brightening my days . Jazakumullah khoiran katsiraa...semoga Allah membalas dengan yang lebih baik dan lebih banyak... Amin ya Rabbal 'alamiin.

Ya Allah, Ya Rahman... Ya Rahim...
Anugerahkanlah selalu kasih dan sayang-Mu pada kami
Jagalah kami untuk senantiasa ada dalam keridhaan-Mu
Jadikanlah kami bagian dari orang-orang yang beruntung di hari pembalasan
Izinkanlah kami menjadi bagian dari orang-orang yang dapat melihat wajah-Mu
Ampunilah kami ya Allah
Ampunilah kami

Doktrin

Rachma kan pernah cerita ya tentang "doktrin tukang beca", nah kemaren itu muncul lagi doktrin baru, "doktrin domba", dan "doktrin ayam" . Tapi lagi males ngejelasin itu ah... jadi, silakan tebak sendiri apa maksud doktrin-doktrin itu, hehehe.


Hari senin,,,mmm, banyak yang ingin dikerjakan, rencana mu di lab ampe malem juga. Lagi males pulang ke housing cepet-cepet. Pengennya... pulang ke housing itu dah capeeee banget, jadi gak mikir yang macem-macem, langsung tidur aja . Waktu hari Sabtu itu ke Den haag, niat sampingannya adalah demi mencari kesibukan dan membiarkan diri lelah karena perjalanan, biar gak ngelamun terus [housing YB kondusif sekali buat melamun :P]. Tapi ternyata nyampe sana teh ketemu sama anak-anak kecil yang imut-imut dan lucu-lucu. Hayah, jadi terinduksi deui ini mah, pengen punya anak, pengen denger ada yang manggil "Mama", yang dengan gaya innocentnya ... manja-manja minta diperhatiin. Alhasil, walo cape banget nyampe housing, tetep aja kepikiran sesuatu :)).


Diakui ato gak, walopun ceritanya udah sembuh dari patah hati :P, tetep aja ada hal-hal yang bikin Rachma trauma [meni segitunya :))]. Walo Rachma tau, yang namanya generalisir itu gak bener adanya, tetep aja ada hawa-hawa yang menghantui,,, bahwa yang namanya cowok itu berpotensi bikin sakit hati. Bahkan untuk cowo yang Rachma kenal sebagai seseorang yang subhanallah pisan sholehnya, tetep aja hal-hal kaya gitu kelintas. Kadang Rachma mikir... ini teh fear factor kapan ilangnya ya... , jadi ngeri sendiri :)). Udah gitu teh, kasus-kasus yang Rachma temui akhir-akhir ini malah membuat Rachma tambah ill feel ma cowok . Kadang Rachma shocked, "ih dia teh bukannya ikhwan pisan... kok bisa ya begitu?"


Jadinya males berurusan -terutama yang nyangkut privasi-, dan kerasa aja takut buat deket . Jadi pas kemaren ditanya "bla..bla..bla.. langkah kongkrit ke depannya apa?"... kerasa banget otak hang :)), dan ujug-ujug cape aja [padahal mikirnya belum, heuheu ], so I simply answered "I don't know"... karena emang gak tau, gak pengen mikirin, gak pengen terbebani hal-hal kaya gini, udah kebayang aja flash back masa lalu :)), terus jadi ngeri .


Makanya, akhir-akhir ini sumangad pisan baca-baca psikologi, I have to be the doctor-in-need for my self . Menenggelamkan diri menekuni sesuatu. I do need time to find my true self...membangun kembali fondasi untuk berdiri kokoh di atas kaki sendiri..., yeah, who knows that itchy-thing like this takes a long time to recover. Lukanya sih sembuh, tapi bekasnya... hoho, ampe kapan ya ini ....


Doktrin paling ampuh di antaranya... ketika seorang temen Rachma nyeletuk kaya gini:
"Aku tuh ya, kalo punya pacar terus putus, gak akan sedih, melainkan bahagia. Kenapa? karena itu kan nunjukkin kalo cowok tadi tuh bukan jodoh aku, ngapain coba hubungan lama-lama kalo ternyata bukan jodoh? Udah gitu, itu artinya aku bakalan ketemu sama orang yang lebih baik dari cowok tadi. Lagian, yang rugi itu kan sebenernya cowoknya, coba... bisa-bisanya dia nyia-nyia-in cewek high quality kaya aku?"


Heuheuheu, pas dengernya... asli Rachma ketawa, pede pisan. Tapi... doktrin itu manjur buat menghibur diri, hueheheh. Walo tanpa disadari jadi mendoktrin diri menjadi eksklusif, atau kalo bahasa halusnya mah "terjaga", terjaga dari hal-hal gak penting dan gak perlu, malah kadang jadi terkesan sombong :). Yeah, but who cares with what people say, since they will not help solving the problem either . Kalo ada yang nge-ym gak penting, pasti yang kelintas "apa sih nih orang, ngeganggu aja" :)), apalagi kalo udah ada suara telpon bunyi-bunyi, "ih, males deh, berisik, udah tau Rachma sibuk... pleus lagi males ngobrol gak jelas", heuheuheu =)), terus kalo ada sms, "udah tau Rachma jarang ngecek HP, ya gak akan dibales atuh", heheheh, ampe jadi itungan gitu... "sayang pulsa ah", atau kalo gak "sayang waktu, sayang tenaga" [seakan-akan mencet tombol accept ngeluarin berpuluh ribu kalori :P], pokokna mah jadi skeptis ajah, gak mau peduli, hihi. Nyadar sih, itu teh tega nian, tapi da lagi males atuh... jadi ya, begitulah.


Kadang ada yang seenak-enaknya komen: "jangan berlarut-larut dalam cinta"... Yah, akar masalahnya ini mah bukan itu. Walo udah mendoktrin diri untuk "cool, calm, confident", ya tetep aja ada saat-saat di mana lonely menyerang dan semerta-merta merobohkan segala doktrin yang dah dibangun, hihihi. Walo ada hal-hal yang terkristalkan kaya "ya, yang namanya kebahagiaan itu mahal harganya". Dampaknya? hmm... misal dalam menanggapi kecenderungan cowok untuk menyeleksi calon istri, terlintas "ya, dia berhak untuk berpetualang sampe dia mantep milih seseorang, itu manusiawi. Sapa tau emang jalan kebahagiaan hidupnya seperti itu, jadi gak pantes dong kalo Rachma jadi duri dalam daging. Tapi siapa juga yang mau jadi bahan main-main kaya gitu, sok aya-aya wae. " ... Ada juga yang pernah bilang, "yang namanya selingkuh itu kan kalo udah nikah, kalo sebelum nikah ya bukan selingkuh, itu tahap seleksi...", dih, ngedenger itu yang ada malah pengen muntah, seriusan. Seenak-enaknya cowok nebar jaring, ngedeketin banyak cewek, dan liat yang nyangkut di mana. Amat sangat ill feel sekali banget pokoknyah. How can a man like that be a father then?


Doktrin lain yang lagi berakar: "Allah mah maha adil, perempuan yang baik itu untuk laki-laki yang baik pula". Ketika ada banyak hal yang terlihat hambar dan hampa makna, menggantungkan harapan pada Allah emang jadi oase penyejuk hati. Ketika banyak fenomena yang tak lagi menghargai saling percaya dan saling menghormati, banyak mengingat Allah emang jadi obat tersendiri, jadi pegangan... "Allah senantiasa menepati janjinya".

-lagi ngitung mundur ke berkurangnya jatah umur, amat sangat kangen rumah-

Bade iraha?

Kembang layung tinggarupay
ruag rieug kabeulit angin
pucukna rancag
putikna ligar
tingbureuleuk ngahariring

Kembangna mekar sataman
seungitna seukeut, hihiliwiran
beureum bodas, koneng kayas
estu mager hate nu welas
matak waas ngahelas

Nyandingan nu dipiasih
ngantosan nu dipimelang
aya sieun nu nyimbutan
prasangka kokolebatan
gegebegan nyorang jalan
rantag runtug milang jaman

Gening enya mangsa teh seueur tikungan
angin oge aya kadar gelebugna
hujan nyorang babanjiran
guludug boborelakan

iraha atuh anjeun teh mulang
aya beja nu kedah dimomolekeun
aya warta nu kedah dikedalkeun
aya jangji nu kedah dicarioskeun
estu alim mapay gawir
alim mapay lamping
lamun heg teu disarengan

-kangen Bandung-

Faktor F

Hasil ngisi -lagi, pertanyaan-pertanyaan gak penting [orang sok sibuk, 2008]- di web Tickle, hasilnya kaya gini:

Love Conquers All is your Romantic Pattern At its core, the romantic pattern called Love Conquers All, is romantic, triumphant, and full of courage to face yourself with honesty. But, here's the recurring pattern you may see in your relationships: A tug of war between the desire for the love of your life, and a fear of commitment. You may also find that challenges come from family and society — even yourself. Do loved ones disapprove of your partner, raise concerns you hadn't previously cared that much about? Turning points may also stem from previous obligations at work, or in promises you've made to others. Do you reschedule or delay plans with your partner because you feel the need to honor responsibilities at the office? Do you prioritize taking care of a friend in need over the needs of your mate? Ambition to be loyal to loved ones, move ahead at work, improve your home, see the world — these are all good things. But sometimes, they take precedence over your love life — whether you are conscious of it or not.

How your romantic pattern affects you and your relationships Whether you realize it or not, you might be slightly at odds with yourself when it comes to matters of love. On the one hand, you might be ready for the love of your life. On the other hand, you might want to protect yourself from a potential hurt should that love not work out. Do you view love suspiciously at times? Avoid the traditional trappings of romance — flowers, chocolates, and Valentine's Day? Perhaps you've had your heart broken one too many times, or you so desperately want a true love, that you are almost afraid of failing on your way to it. At times, you can be fiercely independent. At the same time, painful memories of a past relationship, or aspirations to success in other areas of your life, might make you less of a risk-taker in the land of love. Do you have tunnel vision unless a dramatic event grabs your attention? Maybe you equate settling down with the right person as a one-way ticket to the retirement community. You may avoid relationships altogether, or you may prefer to keep them casual. Do you have a reputation for being a player? Do you date lots of people at once, preventing any one relationship from going too far? Or do you tend to make excuses when it comes to romance, placing work or other obligations in between you and a potential lover? On one level, your pattern is driven by an underlying faith that "the one" is out there waiting for you. On another level, you might not want to search for it because you don't want to fail in finding it. Your romantic pattern is fed by fear: fear of commitment, fear of settling down, fear of rejection, fear of what other people may think. If you're partner comes from a different background — social, ethnic, economic, you might be afraid to introduce them to friends. Fortunately, love is stronger than whatever challenges you might face. Though you may subconsciously sabotage aspects of a relationship to protect yourself, love will likely prove stronger than whatever challenges you face. When given the choice to walk away or take a chance with a soul mate, you will take the chance when it is right. And remember, you are not bound to this pattern. Once you understand it and the role it plays in your life, you can make the most of it, or you can decide it's no longer working for you and that it's time to move on.

How to avoid common mistakes Love could be staring you in the face, and you might not even see it. The biggest pitfall for you is letting your issues get in the way of a good thing. You need to expand your vision and consider the big picture. If some experience or situation has soured you on love, or has made it too unbearably perfect to stand, it's time to address it! Confidence in yourself and optimism in the future will keep you from missing out on something truly special. It's okay to have standards and rules, but make sure you haven't built a fortress around yourself. Our values change as we grow older. When's the last time you rethought the direction you're heading in life? Revaluate what's most important to you — not to others, not to the dreams you had when you were 15 or 20 or 31 — what's important to you now, at this moment, at this age. Don't be afraid to change the priorities in your life. You get score points to following previous life dreams if they no longer represent your current hopes and desires.

How to recognize someone who's right for you Romance for you begins with a sudden, unexpected rush. It's probably a gut feeling you have about someone that you subsequently squelch or question. Maybe the person is your opposite, which is why their contrasting characteristics jar you into noticing them. Or perhaps you share such a strong, common, interest, you can't believe they've finally arrived after all of these years. Someone who's right for you will probably show up unexpectedly, but the surprise will get your attention. Once you're looking, prepare to be impressed. Did you realize your quiet colleague was also an accomplished musician? Has it suddenly dawned on you that your best friend is attracted to you? You have more fun with your dentist than anyone you've met in ages. Your next-door neighbor cooks like a four-star chef. Who knew? Of course, you won't see anyone who's right for you, if you're not looking. So lose the shades! If you're dating multiple people at once, why not whittle it down to the one who really interests you? Maybe you should be single for awhile. That might make it easier for someone to approach you. Haven't dated in a year? It's time to figure out why. Look at how you're spending your time. Is one area of your life taking up more than its fair share? Maybe you've met someone you want to be with, but there's some obstacle between you and that person. This will be a true test of your devotion. Overcome, and you've formed a deeper bond. It's okay to be picky! Maybe your reluctance has protected you from bad mistakes, but maybe it's prevented you from seeing a true love standing right in front of your face. Now that you understand your pattern, you're equipped with knowledge that can keep you from missing a good opportunity. You can take charge of your romantic pattern and make it work for you, or move on. Whatever you decide, your independence and courage will take you far in life and in love. Indeed, in your happy ending, Love Conquers All.

Writing your Own Script for Happiness While the patterns are universal, your specific experiences within them are not. Use your romantic pattern to map out where you've been, and where you want to go. Take an honest look at your past relationships. Want to make your self-analysis seem more real? Then write down the characteristics you share with your romantic pattern. Ask a friend who has known you through a number of relationships to help you identify parts about your pattern you don't see because they are too close to you still. Finally, be truthful with yourself. Have the courage to face what you really want in life. But before you allow yourself to default to the aspirations you had 5 years ago, figure out if your goals have changed. When you see the patterns emerging on paper in front of you, you can make a conscious decision to continue with a given pattern, or to change direction. If you are brave enough to face your desires, and are honest enough to share those dreams with your partner, you are well on your way to something you've been waiting for your entire life — true love. You create your own destiny. Knowing what your romantic pattern is gives you the power to embrace it or move on. And ultimately, knowing your romantic pattern will allow you to more fully enjoy the most amazing of human relationship — love.

The Other Romantic Patterns and How They Affect Us Now you know how your romantic pattern has played out in your life. But, at some point, you may be affected by another pattern. That's because the elements of these patterns are universal and traits of one pattern are not always so far from the characteristics of another. As circumstances surrounding your relationships change, you may start to see shades of the other patterns bleed into your life. With that in mind, here they are, ranked in order of how influential they currently are to you. Once you understand them, you can recognize their hold on you, and make a conscious decision to stick with them, or break away. Second Chances The Second Chances pattern is rooted in nostalgia — whether you're longing for the ex you haven't seen in a year, or are reminiscing about the crush you never connected with 10 years ago. But, here's the recurring pattern you may see in your relationships: A longing to recapture someone or something that can reconnect you to a time in your life when love was a larger focus. Whether you do it consciously or not, most people who migrate towards the Second Chances pattern either want to revise a past decision, confront someone they couldn't at the time, or revert back to a specific point in time. You scored an 8 on the Second Chances story: The Mentor and the Protégé The Mentor and the Protégé is a romantic pattern that's about more than love for love's sake. In it, love grows out of deeper need to learn and understand other aspects of your life through the teachings of someone else. But, here's the recurring pattern you may see in your relationships: Love isn't the only thing you're after. You want power, success, attention, maybe even fame. You want to be recognized, doted on, and adored for your talents. And the object of your desire is the person best suited to provide you with these things — a boss, a mentor, a teacher, or a troubled genius. Similarly, the object of your affection can take the place of an absent parent or role model, providing security and nurturance. Whatever the reason, you're likely to feel a boost to your self-image when you're with this person. You scored an 8 on the The Mentor and the Protégé story: Love vs. Honor Love vs. Honor is the most dramatic pattern of all — defined by an innate tug of war between what you want to do and what you think you should do. But, here's the recurring pattern you may see in your relationships: There is something coming between you and love. Perhaps it's a religious conviction, a previous commitment, family, patriotic duty, or deep belief that good things only come at a terrible price. You tend to put others' needs before your own. Romance is not your number one priority, though in the back of your mind you are holding out for a soul mate. You scored an 8 on the Love vs. Honor story: Loving Too Much The Loving Too Much pattern stems from your overflowing love and hope. However, it can be muddied by misguided feelings, expectations and sometimes, an unrequited desire. But, here's the recurring pattern you may see in your relationships: You're most attracted to people who are usually just out of reach. These people are all the more alluring for it — like those early crushes on teen idols. The less available your partner is, both emotionally and physically, the more desirable they become. You daydream, and your imagination fills in the details that reality hasn't provided. Do you ever seek out indirect contact with this person, visiting his workplace or getting to know his friends? Do you find yourself dreaming about marriage after a second date, or perhaps after a quick affair? You scored a 7 on the Loving Too Much story: Romantic Rescue Love is all-powerful in the Romantic Rescue pattern. It is the catalyst for change within yourself as well as the means through which you discover if your partner is who you want and need them to be. But, here's the recurring pattern you may see in your relationships: A desire to save your partner from his own self-destruction, or the desire to be saved by someone for the same reason. Some people adopt the hero role in this pattern — nursing an ailing partner back to health, saving them from a string of previously destructive relationships, maybe even saving them from a physical danger. Others cast themselves as those in need of rescue — relying on their partners to swoop in and save them from whatever ill-fate's been visited upon them, either real or imagined. You scored a 7 on the Romantic Rescue story: Rags to Riches Cinderella is the archetype of your Rags to Riches pattern, a story that's been retold throughout history in books, movies, poems, and songs. For you, love is more important than expectations, stereotypes and what other people think is good for you. Ah, the American Dream of self-determination. It's the stuff from which true fairytales are made. But, here's the recurring pattern you may see in your relationships: Feeling the need to get your due. Have you or your partner been discriminated against? Have people done their best to keep you apart? People with the strength of character to pursue their loves despite obstacles and adversity often find themselves in this pattern. You scored a 5 on the Rags to Riches story: Establishing Independence The Establishing Independence pattern that grips you begins with desire — not only for someone different, but for exciting life changes as well. But, here's the recurring pattern you may see in your relationships: You are looking for a shift in the types of people you pursue and how you define yourself relative to other people. These transformations can come in the package of another person — perhaps a soul mate — but more likely someone you've selected because they're different from the people or partners you are accustomed to. You scored a 1 on the Establishing Independence story:

History of The Test Why This Test? Throughout the history of our site, users have written to thank us for helping them — helping them understand aspects of their personalities they previously had been unable to pinpoint. And as they took more and more of our tests, they came to understand more and more about themselves and how they relate to others. When we thought about how else we could help people, we wanted to find a subject that was universal — a subject that intrigues everyone. What we came up with was the latest test to arm you with a knowledge that you can put to immediate use in your life, and more specifically, your love life. Stories about love are universal throughout the world. The general ideas and motivations behind all the romantic patterns you'll find in different cultures in different countries echo the 8 themes you'll see in this test. How is this possible? How do we know this? For years, researchers across various disciplines have been tracing the subject of recurring life themes, stories, and roles. Take for example, anthropologist Joseph Campbell. His book, "The Hero with a Thousand Faces" traces the theme and role of "Hero." What he found was that whether you are studying the myths from the African savannah, the European forests, the Asian mountains, or the American cities, there is one hero archetype. This character is a constant in what he represents, in the stories he plays out. Love is a Universal Theme Another great, cross-cultural theme is that of love. It is constant, as is how it plays out in people's lives. Want to know about how you love? What your relationships say about you? How you find yourself in relationships at all? Then take a look around you. Though specific details about how you met someone, what they're like, and what you're like together are unique, there are 8 main themes that help explain some of the overarching elements of any romantic relationship. Have you ever identified with a friend who's embarked on a relationship similar to one you've experienced? Do you wonder why you identify so strongly with the heroines in some movies or books over others? That's probably because no matter where you come from, no matter what your background, your relationships, current and past, can be mapped to the same 8 themes of love that have ruled people since the beginning of time. They're stories you can see in the Bible, you can see in history, and you can see all around you played out by friends, families and yourself. By recognizing the elements of the story, placing your specific details into the template, you can better understand your own romantic pattern, and can determine whether it is a good pattern for you to pursue at any point in time. After looking at research, looking at available sources on the topic, and thinking a lot about relationship issues, we created this test for you. Love does indeed, make the world go 'round. And your romantic pattern is more universal than you think. What Love Does to Us The human being is the most rational creature on the planet. It is our ability to reason that raises us to the highest level of the animal kingdom. The human in love, however, is a different beast altogether, existing somewhere between a guppy and a wood tick in terms of rational thoughts. Whether it's locking your keys in your car, singing in public or talking to yourself in the mirror, we all agree that love makes man and womankind do some pretty unusual things. Unfortunately it can also cause us to act against our best interest, something we intelligent creatures are not used to doing. Staying in a relationship passed our welcome, getting into relationships with the wrong people, we've experienced that at one point or another. So, if love does cause a kind of short circuit in our ability to reason, how can we enjoy the thrilling free fall of an affair without crash landing in enemy territory? There must be a way to bridge the gap between our wildest desires and our better interests. Love on the Brain Most of us like to keep the division of labor well defined when it comes to the internal workings of love. The heart handles emotional matters while the brain is responsible for remembering his phone number and keeping your tongue in line when he sits down next to you. But let's get realistic; the heart is really just a feisty little muscle that pumps blood. It's the brain that runs the show. The Alligator, the Gorilla and the Computer Since the early 1950's, scientists studying the human brain have theorized that there may be more than one command center in our heads. These experts believe that the brain found in modern man's cranium is really three brains in one. The most primitive part of our brain resembles that of a reptile, controlling all the basic functions of the body — heartbeat, breathing pattern, survival instincts, etc. The next lobe of the brain is called the limbic region found only in mammals. It is here that the pain and pleasure centers live. The limbic region controls how we feel, our current moods and "emotional memory." Finally, the neo-cortex, or rational mind, comprises the third lobe of the brain. Unique to humans, the neo-cortex processes all the signals from our five senses — smell, sight, taste, touch and sound. It also is in charge of our reasoning and opinions much like a super-computer crunches numbers. Why Love Trumps Reason No information can reach the rational part of your brain without first passing through the limbic region. Therefore this passion center of the brain has the power to control rational thought and color it with emotional hues when confronted with extreme situations like love or danger. What people refer to as love at first sight or the excitement of a new relationship is really the release of hormones and endorphins triggered by the limbic region of the brain without permission of the neo-cortex. It is an emotional hijacking of the rational brain and it feels strange, wonderful and crazy all at once. What's Love Got to Do With It? Even though all this science makes the book of love seem as pre-scripted as a color-by-numbers book, it doesn't have to take all the fun out of falling in love. Physiology and neurology do their part to explain behavioral patterns that have existed since Adam asked Eve, "hey, come here often?" Recognizing the patterns won't turn your love life into a cliché. Instead, it points out clues about your own body and mind. Think of Tickle's Romantic Pattern test as a bridge between the logical neo-cortex and the emotional limbic region of the brain. The more you understand where your own experience fits into the eight basic romantic patterns, the sooner your logical brain can lend a hand to one of the most illogical and absolutely amazing aspects of life: love.

Ya, faktor F, fear factor.

Aya nu ngageris kana ati
siga ngeclakna cai talaga
ngukir nyiliksik nyeuseup hanjelu
ngagebregkeun pinanti
batan bentang nu baranang
ngagenclang mencrang nyaangan
tetep peuting poek mongkek
disimutan hariwang
aya nu nyelekit kana ati
melang ku basa, melang ku paripolah
ngan ukur hariring angin
ngaler ngidul teu puguh
ngantosan wakca balaka

Yang lembut hatinya

Wahai orang yang lembut hatinya
siapakah yang lebih engkau cintai di dunia ini?
siapakah yang lebih engkau puja dalam tiap jeda nafasmu?
siapakah yang lebih engkau rindui kehadirannya?
siapakah yang lebih engkau takuti murkanya?
siapakah yang lebih engkau harapkan kasih dan ridhanya?


maka apakah engkau termasuk golongan yang layak menginjakan kakimu di bumi Allah, sedangkan hatimu, pikiranmu, jiwamu, masih lebih mencintai dunia dan segala gemerlapnya, dibandingkan menabung amal,,, dibandingkan merajut dan mengumpulkan butir-butir keimanan yang kau biarkan berserakan?

maka apakah engkau layak bernafas, menghirup gratis udara-Nya... sedang engkau mengabaikan Khalikmu?

maka apakah engkau layak tertawa bangga bergelimang dosa, padahal Allah murka terhadapmu?

maka apakah engkau bahagia berbajukan nafsu, sedangkan Allah membencimu?

maka apakah engkau berleha-leha, sedangkan maut mengintaimu selalu?

dan di mana lagikah kini izzahmu?

Ya Allah,
hiasilah hati kami
dengan rasa cinta dan rindu kepada-Mu
curahkahlah belas kasih dan sayangMu
jangan biarkan hati kami mengerdil karena gemerlap dunia
jangan biarkan kami terlena dengan keindahan semu sang nafsu
jagalah kami ya Allah
sungguh kami amat takut akan siksaMu, murkaMu
hanya kepadaMu lah kami kembali
Maha Suci Allah
Astaghfirullahal'adzim

Are you sure?

Mari menutup kisah klasik bermelow-melow ria, dan menuju dunia realita . Ini mungkin agak rasis, jadi kalo yang kurang suka baca rasis-rasis-an, silakan berhenti membaca.

Heuheu, asa resmi pisan .

Topiknya tentang Sunda,,, mmm,,, berawal dari sebuah topik yang mejeng di forum konsultasi dan psikologinya Ri***s, tentang stereotip "cewek Bandung matre". Topik yang kemudian melebar menjadi "cewek Sunda itu begini... begitu... bla.. bla..". Singkat cerita,,, perasaaan kok yang jelek-jelek semua yak ...

Mulai dari: cewek Bandung itu bisanya cuma bersolek, udah gitu matre, oon deuih, pemales lagi, susah kalo diajak hidup di luar Bandung, hobi ngedugem, gak mau nyentuh dapur... dan sebagainya dan sebagainya....

Pas baca list post-post di topik itu... kelintas, "omigod... cowok macam apa kok bisa nulis segitunya?????"

geeze... so irritating . Miris aja sih bacanya... ngeri . Terutama yang bagian, maaf... bilang cewek Bandung oon. Aduh duh,,, astaghfirullah... dasar cowok ITB,,, sok pinter banget sih!!! Lulus aja belum, udah ngehina-hina dan mengeneralisir gak jelas gitu... ck ck ck....


Terlepas dari prinsip Bhinneka tunggal ika, ada hal-hal yang memang sejatinya mudah terusik jika dihina, direndahkan, apalagi yang berhubungan dengan jati diri dan asal muasal. Berkaitan dengan jati diri ini, pernah ngebahas gitu ma temen, sebuah peribahasa Sunda:

"caina herang, laukna beunang"
jauh-jauh Rachma mikir arti peribahasa itu, terus nyoba ngejelasin maknanya dengan sok tau... udah gitu teh salah deuih.... heheheheh, mana yang nanya teh bukan orang Sunda deuih, tapi dia malah lebih tau arti tepat dari peribahasa itu... kekekeke... kadang Rachma ngerasa... dia lebih nyunda dari orang Sundanya sendiri , jadi malu... hehehe . Bahkan dalam tingkatan lagu, mungkin Rachma lebih akrab dengan lagu-lagu terbarunya Celine Dion dibanding lagu-lagunya Darso, heuheuheu.... dasar Rachma... nu namina jati diri teh kedah dijaga Neng!


Topik orang Sunda ini berlanjut di searching, dan akhirnya terfokus pada suatu kisah insiden Bubat, yang melibatkan Dyah Pitaloka, Hayam Wuruk, dan Gajah Mada. Dunno why, tapi baca-baca dan menelisik semua ragam tentang Bubat membuat Rachma menemukan sesuatu yang inspiring tentang Sunda itu sendiri....


Duluu banget, pas awal-awal masuk ITB, adalah mula mengenal adanya stereotif suku-suku Indonesia. Da sampe SMA di Cililin atuh, orang Sunda hungkul, heuheuheu, jadi Rachma mah justru emang gak tau ternyata orang Sunda tuh distereotifkan begini begitu. Kalo pas TPB mah, kebetulan gaulnya ma orang yang berprinsip bhinneka tunggal ika, jadi emang tau batas-batas mana yang harus diliat.


Di tingkat dua, pergaulan mulai meluas ke berbagai jurusan, yang tentunya... berbagai karakter, berbagai suku...
akhirnya, bertemulah dengan seorang J*** yang kemudian mengulas rumor negatif cewek Sunda...
dari situ Rachma mulai mikir... kok bisa ya ada stereotif kaya gitu??? heran


Pas Minggu lalu, Rachma ngobrol ma Mama:
me: "Ma, kalo jadinya sama *****, emang Mama setuju gitu?"
Mama: "Ya, Mama mah tinggal ngasi izin, kalo emang kamu suka, ya Mama setuju...."
me : "Ma, masa mu langsung setuju-setuju aja, gak pake acara seleksi dulu gitu?"
Mama: "Ya, Mama mah percaya sama pilihan kamu. Kalo kamu suka sama dia, terus udah sama-sama yakin mau nikah, ya tinggal merestui aja. Emang Mama harus ikutan nyeleksi gitu? kan jauh, gimana nyeleksinya coba?"
[Mom, you are giving your daughter to a stranger, how could it be that easy? ]
me: "...Tapi Mah, dia mah bukan orang Sunda... orang ********, jauh pisan panginten engkena"
Mama: "Ah eta mah sanes masalah, mun aya rizki mah, pasti selalu aya jalan silaturahmi..."
me: "Ma, kalo Papa setuju gak kalo sama dia?"
Mama: "Duka atuh nya, da Papa kamu teh langsung resepen ka ***** mah. Mama ge heran"
[hoo, ntah magnet apa yang ada di orang ini emang ]
me: "terus Ma, dia mah bukan anak bungsu, kan gening pernah ngadangu ... lamun anak sulung mah cocokna ka anak bungsu..."
Mama: "ah, aya-aya wae... jodo mah saha nu terang... eta mah Allah nu ngatur. Nu penting mah, resep teu ka ***** teh? cocok teu?"
me: "hmm... masih gak tau mah... itu teh suka bukan ya... mmm... ya gitu deh Ma, masih nyari click chemistrynya. Kan pengen yang sreg gitu Ma"
Mama: "nya, sing seueur berdo'a we atuh, ku Mama ge didieu selalu dido'akeun. Jangan terlalu dipikirin, dibawa nyantai aja. Kalo udah waktunya mah, ntar juga nyambung sendiri"
me: "Jadi boleh dong Ma, pulang summer tahun depan?"
[harap-harap cemas...soalnya minggu sebelumnya pikiran Mama berubah lagi gak ngizinin pulang]
Mama: "Nya sok wae bade uih mah. Heg candak ka bumi atuh, kenalkeun ka Mama sareng ka Bapa. Masih sering komunikasi sama ***** teh?"
[Yes, akhirnya diizinin, mudah-mudahan gak berubah lagi ini kebijakan visanya, heheh ]
me: "Ayeuna mah jarang Ma, sibuk. Pengen ngejaga hati oge"
Mama: "Nya, seueur ngado'a we atuh, da pami tos jodoh mah moal ka mana"


-nge-click-
itulah kata sederhana yang kadang... Rachma ucap asal aja, gak punya banyak kriteria Rachma mah... cuman pengen yang sholeh terus yang ngeclik aja gitu .
Intinya mah gak mau mikirin hal itu . Kerasa banget hati tuh capeeee pisan kalo dah nyangkut masalah kaya gini. Suka tiba-tiba hang gak jelas, heuheuheu.


Once upon a time, ada saat di mana Rachma illfeel sama yang namanya cowok, heuheu, terutama setelah mengetahui kenyataan, ternyata... cowok itu bisa ya mencintai lebih dari satu cewek dalam waktu bersamaan.... Pernah seenak-enaknya protes ini ke temen, hehehe, untungnya dia nanggepin pake kepala dingin, dengan komentar "ya, belum ketemu yang cocok aja itu mah". Hehe, lumayan menyejukkan hati, sedikit menggugurkan stereotif negatif tentang cowok :D.


Kaya shock therapy jadinya. Walopun dah mendengar penjelasan, tepatnya pembelaan, pembenaran dari cowok-cowok tentang masalah ini... tetep aja ill feel ..., jadi males aja gitu. Ditambah lagi dengan tendency di mana cowok itu suka sekali mencari tipe-tipe yang "sempurna", manusiawi emang, tapi ya tau diri gitu... ngaca heula... Kadang ada yang suka gak tau malu, udah tau gak sekufu, teteeeep aja maksain pengen dapet yang "wah". Hhh.. cape deeeh


Tipikal cewek itu, yang dasarnya emang ngandelin perasaan... mudah untuk jatuh cinta, tapi kalo dah jatuh cinta ... ya cuman bisa ke satu orang, gak bakat buat mendua mentiga men-empat. Inget kan kenapa Nabi menyarankan nikah sama perawan, bukan janda? ya karena yang masih perawan mah, pake cinta aja cukup. Kalo janda mah udah tau hidup -hidup itu pelik, Jendral -, jadi gak cukup pake cinta aja .


Kadang, Rachma pun suka berdebat tentang hal ini: "emang mau nunggu semapan apa sih? emang mau nyari bekal ilmu buat jadi pemimpin segimana sih?... Yang namanya harta mah bisa dicari bareng-bareng atuh, da Rachma juga konsumsi makanan biasa, bukan berlian :P. Kalo yang namanya ilmu mah, ya sama-sama belajar, kerja sama membangun keluarga yang diridhoi Allah... ". Secara kasarnya mah, susah senang dijalani bareng-bareng, being with you is more than enough.


See? tetep aja walo dah mulai terbiasa mengedepankan logika, sisi keceweannya tetep ada, emosi dan perasaaan yang dikedepankan, being with you is more than enough, I really mean it... walo secara logika mah nya teu tiasa atuh Neng, da nuang cinta mah moal wareg. Nyadar setelah dikomentari, "Neng... segala sesuatu itu harus ada plan yang jelas. Masalah gini mah harus dipikirkan pake kepala dingin". Betul itu, logis pisan. Tapi kalo nurutin emosi mah kan sebenernya pengen teriak: "Dasar jahaaaaat.... , tega ya ngebiarin Rachma kangen tiap hari... kan susah juga tuh managenya... lieur. Tega ya ngebiarin Rachma nangis-nangis gak jelas..." [seenak-enaknya ini nyalahin orang sambil bawa-bawa kata tega gak tega, hehehe ]. Paling bete kalo dikomentari "kayanya ada yang dah gak sabar nih..."..... yadddaaaaaa.... .....cape deeeh


Waktu test di web tickle tentang aura, hasilnya cenah aura paling dominannya adalah biru: The brightness of your Atmic layer has a deep impact on your overall well being, in that you have the capacity to lead a genuinely blissful existence. Your ability to balance both the feminine and masculine components of yourself allows you to feel truly balanced, and your charisma draws a warm circle of friends around you.


Yah, rame-rame aja baca hasilnya :D. Aura tinggi, hihihih. Akhir-akhir ini Rachma dianggap menginduksi kekronisan di YB, sampe katanya YB mah mesti dirukiyah, soalnya deket krematorium, kekekekek. Eta mah emang udah dari sononya aja pada kronis, pake nyalah-nyalahin Rachma coba :P.

Rachmawati, based on your responses, the brightest color in your aura is

Blue

Contrary to popular myth, auras are actually multi-colored energy fields that can be divided into seven primary layers. Having Blue as your brightest color means that the fifth, or Atmic, layer of your aura is the most vibrant. The Atmic layer of your aura is the fifth layer out from the core of your aura, and its vibrancy indicates that you have exceptional abilities to access both your masculine and feminine strengths. This multi-faceted quality makes you very charismatic and draws others to you. You're persistent in your pursuits, and because of this you likely feel like your life is headed in the right direction.

Your aura impacts all aspects of your life. For instance, having a bright Atmic layer means that you bring both dedication and social magnetism to the table. Thus, your ideal job would likely involve something that allows you to capitalize on your people skills. In general, you probably enjoy being at the center of the action in your work, as opposed to languishing on the sidelines or toiling behind the scenes.

In your love life, your fluidity probably leads you to feeling attracted to a number of different kinds of partners, and your charisma likely draws in a number of suitors. If you set your sights on a particular person, you may find that you pursue them until you win their affections. Once in a relationship, you're capable of achieving a sense of true joy, though you may need to take care that you don't overshadow your partner with your strong will and dynamic personality.

The brightness of your Atmic layer has a deep impact on your overall well being, in that you have the capacity to lead a genuinely blissful existence. Your ability to balance both the feminine and masculine components of yourself allows you to feel truly balanced, and your charisma draws a warm circle of friends around you.

Your aura reading The layers of your aura Aura quick reference The history behind the aura reading

Aura Layer Aura Color Etheric Red Emotional Orange Mental Yellow Intuitional Green Atmic Blue Monadic Violet Divine White Each layer of your aura radiates a different color. The brighter the light emanating from each layer, the healthier your aura, the better you'll feel in mind, body, and spirit. Following is your personalized Aura Reading, explaining how healthy each layer of your aura is. We'll look at each layer of your aura in sequence, from the first or innermost layer, to the seventh or outermost layer. For layers that aren't bright, try the corresponding Take Actions to enhance and expand your aura. The First, or Etheric Layer, is Red The Etheric layer of your aura is medium bright. A soft glow emanates from this first core layer of your aura, which is associated with the physical body. This indicates that you likely have an average occurrence of physical ailments, though you may not always feel as strong and healthy as you'd like. A bright Etheric layer indicates a positive connection to your body, which in turn provides the optimal vehicle for your spirit to express itself and for you to gain knowledge and insight. To help brighten your Etheric layer, try the Take Action below. Heal Your Aura with Color When the colors of your aura are faded, you experience this as emotional or physical distress or even illness. To keep your aura strong and bring in the qualities you need in your life, you can easily and quickly try these various color therapies: Hang pieces of colored cloth or paper. Wear colored cloths. Wear gemstones in the color you need. Fill a colored glass with water, place it in the window for several hours, and then drink this water. Sit in a stream of colored light for 30 minutes a day for several days (using a colored light bulb or shining light through a colored transparency). You can close your eyes and sense which color you might be needing, or you can use this condensed chart to determine which colors your aura needs: Color Use for Yellow Stimulates the mind; energizes muscles; combats depression; creates lust for life. Orange Healthy lungs; good digestion; increases thyroid; heightens insight; stimulates creativity and enthusiasm. Red Brings warmth and energy; energizes the heart, organs, and circulation; increases sexual desire. (Note: Never use for cancer treatment, as red stimulates cell growth.) Magenta Strengthens your sense of life's purpose. Pink Heals grief and sadness; connects you to your emotions. Green Provides emotional and mental harmony and balance; heals kidneys, heart, and hormonal imbalances; harmonizes digestive tract; brings peace. Blue Reduces inflammation; relieves headaches; calms strong emotions; brings tranquility. Purple Heals melancholy; encourages spiritual insight and renewal; brings sleep; soothes stress; detoxifies the spirit. The Second, or Emotional Layer, is Orange The Emotional layer of your aura is bright. This second layer of your aura surrounds your physical body most closely, and its vibrancy provides you with exceptional abilities to use your feelings as your mental, physical, and spiritual guides. You're more likely to use your feelings than reason to make decisions on a daily basis, and your deep emotional connection helps you to stay in touch with your intrinsic human value. Guide Your Aura with Positive Intentions It's not just what you do that matters, it's what you mean to do. When you intentionally set your mind to feel positively and do good in the world, your aura will immediately begin to gather energy and become brighter. Here's how to guide your aura by instilling positive intentions: Choose an area of your life that is causing you emotional discomfort. This could be a relationship in which you're unhappy with your own behavior, or a situation you need inner guidance with, or a pattern of behavior that you use to avoid your true emotions. Sit in a quiet space and close your eyes. Focus on your breathing, and with each breath draw in a feeling of calm and strength. Allow your mind to go to the issue at hand, and consider how you'd rather behave. Now think to yourself, "I'm setting my intentions to…." and fill in the rest of the sentence. For example, if you find yourself needing to smoke or have a drink when things get tough, you might think, "I'm setting my intentions to take an easy walk each time I'm confronted with difficult emotions." Give yourself the power and permission to respect your intentions. Doing so will bring positive energy and light into your aura. The Third, or Mental Layer, is Yellow The Mental layer of your aura is medium bright. This is the third layer out from the core of your aura, and its soft glow allows you to occasionally engage in logical concrete thinking, though other times you may find this type of thinking more challenging. While you are sometimes open-minded, you can also find yourself having a negative attitude, which makes it harder to take risks and try new things. To brighten the Mental layer of your aura, try this Take Action. Strengthen Your Aura with Positive Thinking Your energy follows your thoughts, and responds immediately to your positive intentions. Thus, one positive thought immediately creates positive energy, which in turn strengthens your aura. A regular practice of positive thinking can lead to a bright and expansive aura. Here are some positive thoughts that you can use — whether in difficult moments, in response to persistent negative thoughts, or simply as a regular practice — to enhance your aura: I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself. I can do this. I am worthy of love and respect. Life is good. I'm a good person. The secret to using positive thinking is to come up with sentences that don't use conditional statements. For instance, instead of "Life would be good if I could just get that promotion," your aura would be better served by thinking, "Life is good," and "I can get that promotion." The Fourth, or Intuitional Layer, is Green The Intuitional layer of your aura is medium bright. The light emanating from this forth layer of your aura allows you to occasionally engage in abstract thinking, though it isn't your strongest asset. It may sometimes be difficult to trust your decisions, though your gut instinct is often right. Intuition, when put to proper use, can help you stay clear of dangerous and unhealthy situations. Try the following Take Action, which can help brighten your Intuitional layer. Expand Your Aura with Visualization You can use your mind any time to strengthen your aura. You can visualize (in your mind's eye) your aura expanding, or you can use this exercise to visualize with color: Choose a color, either one that you feel drawn to, or one from the color chart provided earlier in this report. Close your eyes, and visualize colored light streaming into your body through the top of your head, letting it fill you and surround you. Imagine that you're breathing in that color. If you choose, you can direct the colored breath to the areas of your body that need it most. The Fifth, or Atmic Layer, is Blue The Atmic layer of your aura is bright. This gives you an exceptionally strong will. You are also very charismatic which draws others to you. You're persistent in your pursuits, and because of this you likely feel that your life is headed in the right direction. Protect Your Aura From Outside Energy Have you ever met someone new and instantly liked or disliked them? You may feel like some people have "good vibes," while others may have "bad vibes." You feel this way because you're sensing someone's aura, or energy. Whenever you come into contact with someone, but especially when you share physical contact, such as a casual touch, a sexual encounter, or body work, your auric fields actually interact. When someone has good vibes, this can enhance your own aura, giving you a good feeling or burst of energy. But you also have to protect your aura from those whose energy doesn't enhance yours. Whenever you're going into a new or troubling situation, or a situation that involves someone whom you know can interfere with your own positive energy, you can prepare yourself with these simple steps: Imagine that there's a clear bubble surrounding you. You can see out of the bubble, others can see in, but the bubble is only semi-permeable. When others send negative energy your way, or you simply feel like you're absorbing their stress, mentally close the bubble and don't let their energy in. If you sense that it's safe and desirable to take in some of that person's energy, you can open up that bubble and allow their energy in and yours out. If at anytime you're in a truly toxic, abusive, or dangerous situation, you can also blacken your bubble, allowing nothing in and nothing out. The Sixth, or Monadic Layer, is Violet The Monadic layer of your aura is bright. The vibrancy of this sixth layer of your aura provides you with a profound sense of peace and purity, which radiates from your aura. You see your purpose clearly, and that has allowed you to make excellent choices in many areas of your life. As long as you're on the path to fulfilling your life's purpose, you'll enjoy a serenity that nourishes your mind, body, and soul. Maintain Your Aura through Regular Maintenance Just like brushing your teeth everyday, your energy body also needs regular care. One way to maintain your aura is to make sure you stay grounded. While it may seem counterintuitive, being grounded, or rooted to the earth, actually makes it easier and healthier for you to access your spiritual self. Pick a time each day when you'll ground yourself. An ideal time is in the morning, just as you're getting out of bed. Close your eyes and imagine that roots are growing from your feet and the base of your spine directly into the earth. Once you feel firmly connected to the earth, imagine a golden light streaming into the top of your head and flowing through your body, into the roots, and then into the ground. Inhale and then exhale deeply, opening your eyes and going about your day. You can also use this exercise whenever you feel thrown off your center. The Seventh, or Divine Layer, is White The Divine layer of your aura is medium bright. The soft glow coming from this outermost layer of your aura gives you a love for life when you feel connected to the universe. At times you're an open channel from the cosmos, and when this occurs it infuses your aura with a divine energy. At other times you have difficulty feeling connected to that which is greater than you. The following Take Action can help brighten your Divine layer. Enhance Your Aura with Prayer or Meditation Connecting to the collective energies in the universe can be a great source of strength and serenity. Praying regularly or engaging in a daily meditation practice can infuse your aura with light and energy, providing you with a great love of life. Here's one meditation you might try: Set aside at least ten minutes where you can sit in uninterrupted silence. Begin by closing your eyes and focusing on your breathing. With each inhale, feel yourself breathing in the collective love of the universe. With each exhale, feel yourself returning your own love to the collective cosmos. Continue for five to ten minutes, imagining your breathing as a constant cycle of rejuvenation and flowing love.

Your aura reading The layers of your aura Aura quick reference The history behind the aura reading

The following chart summarizes the indicators of health or illness of a layer of an aura. You can use this as a quick reference when you're having health problems, allowing you to see which layer of your aura needs attention. Layer Benefits of Health Symptoms of Illness Etheric Vitalizes the body, expresses the spirit Illness, aches, and pains Emotional Feelings are mental and spiritual guides Irrational behavior Mental Positive attitude, clear concrete thinking Rigidity Intuitional Conduit to higher self, abstract thinking Self-pity Atmic Great powers, joy, bliss Power trips; excessive ego Monadic Allows the soul to express itself Apologetic, unworthy of life Divine Connected to the divine, great love of life Doubt existence of the divine

Your aura reading The layers of your aura Aura quick reference The history behind the aura reading

All living things have auras, from the tiniest amoebas to the largest elephants. Auras are an electromagnetic, bio-energy field that surrounds and animates your physical body. Another way to think of your aura is as your life force or spiritual field. And the greater and stronger your life force or energy is, the brighter your aura will be. The vibrancy of your aura reflects all that's crucial to who you are — your physical health, emotional well-being, personality, and mental activity. The aura is a three-dimensional, egg-shaped energy field made up of seven overlapping layers. Each layer has a different vibration or frequency, which creates different colors and patterns in the aura. While simplified explanations of auras discuss them as having one solid and steady color, auras actually have multiple colors that change all the time. When you are stressed, traumatized by accidents or abuse, or scared, your aura can become thinned, with dark spots or holes, which can cause emotional or physical distress or illness. Healing and strengthening your aura can revitalize your mind, body, and spirit. A healthy aura extends further out from your body, indicating that you have powerful and plentiful energy. Chakras are conductors for energy to move through the aura, as well as the vehicle through which the aura communicates with the physical body. The health and functioning of your chakras directly impacts your aura. To discover how well energy is flowing through each of your seven chakras, take Tickle's Chakra Test now!

Your aura reading The layers of your aura Aura quick reference The history behind the aura reading

You probably sense people's aura, or energy, a good deal of the time. When they walk into a room, without saying a word you may sense if they're upset, at peace, centered, in chaos, rushed, or distracted. Being able to sense other people's energy is the first step to seeing someone's aura. To practice this skill, try this exercise: Have a friend sit across from you, and close your eyes. Have your friend remember a time when he or she felt a strong emotion, but don't have them tell you what they're thinking or feeling. Breathe in and imagine a line of light connecting your forehead to your friend's forehead. Ask yourself what colors your friend's aura is, and see if you can imagine it in your mind's eye. See if you can sense what they're thinking or feeling. Open your eyes, and report the colors and emotions you were sensing. With practice, you should improve your ability to sense someone's aura. Then you'll be ready to move on to seeing your own aura. Here are some tips on how to do that: Practice in the daylight, when it's easier to see auras. Stand in front of a mirror in a bright room, with a neutral-colored wall behind you. Relax your eyes and let them stray a little out of focus. Gently sway from side to side. Staring at the outline of your head and shoulders, you should soon be able to see a soft light surrounding you. That's your aura!

Your aura reading The layers of your aura Aura quick reference The history behind the aura reading

For thousands of years, various cultures have depicted their figureheads and gods with aura-like halos. You can find this in ancient artistic renderings created by Christians, Buddhists, Hindus, Greeks, and Romans. Nikola Tesla, best known for harnessing AC electrical current in his work with Thomas Edison, is credited with taking the first photograph of an aura in the 1890s. In the 1950s, Russian scientist Semyon Davidovich Kirlian was conducting experiments in electricity, when he discovered that by measuring the temperature level in your fingertips, you could photograph the patterns made by high-frequency electrical impulses. As the aura is electromagnetic, he unwittingly developed an "aura camera." While he wasn't looking to capture photographic evidence of auras, and his company doesn't claim to endorse the validity of auras, his Kirlian cameras are sold for approximately $10,000, mainly to psychics and others looking to take pictures of people's auras at psychic and holistic fairs. While still highly controversial in medical fields, some doctors are starting to use this technology to help with the detection of diseases, including cancer. Tickle developed the Aura test after extensively researching the intricacies of the auric layers and coupling this information with a large-scale survey measuring the characteristics of each of the seven layers. From there, researchers found that individuals' mental, physical, and spiritual well being corresponded directly to the brightness of their auric layers. Using this information, Tickle developed the aura reading, which gives each test taker a personalized report about the state of each of the layers of their aura, along with common techniques used to enhance those layers.

Your aura reading The layers of your aura Aura quick reference The history behind the aura reading

Andrews, Ted. How to See and Read the Aura (Llewellyn's How to Series). (Llewellyn Publications) 1991. Brennan, Barbara Ann, and Smith, Joseph A. Hands of Light: A Guide to Healing Through the Human Energy Field. (Bantum Doubleday Dell Pub.) 1993. Collins, Judith. How to See and Read the Human Aura. (Lothian Pub. Co.), 2002. Falk, David R., Brill, Dieter R., Stork, David G. Seeing the Light. (John Wiley & Sons), 1985. Gawain, Shakti. Creative Visualization: Use the Power of Your Imagination to Create What You Want in Your Life. (New World Library) 2002. Heij, Anja. Healing with Color Magick. (www.realmagick.com), 2001. Martin, Barbara Y., and Moraitis. Change Your Aura, Change Your Life: A Step-by-Step Guide to Unfolding Your Spiritual Power. (Wisdomlight Books), 2003. McLaren, Karla. Your Auras and Your Chakras: An Owner's Manual. (Red Wheel/Weiser), 1998. Smith, Mark, and Moody, Jr., Raymond A. Auras: See Them in Only 60 Seconds. (Llewellun Publications) 1997. Muadhnait. "Auras and Chakras." (www.realmagick.com), 2001. Paulson, Genevieve Lewis. Kundalini and the Chakras: A Practical Manual. (Llewellun Publications) 1991. Wauters, Ambika. The Book of Chakras: Discover the Hidden Forces Within You. (Barrons Educational Series) 2002

Oya, tipikal cewek, mudah terkagum-kagum. Kadang suka ill feel kalo tau ada cewek yang meleleh hatinya, karena di jidat cowo itu terpasang cap gajah, pleus cap luar negeri. Hayah, dasar cewek!


Kalo dulu mah masih cukup disodori cinta, sekarang mah setelah melihat realita [ih, inget pengotakan hati cowok...tetep we ill feel... ], jadi tambah banyak aja bahan pertimbangan tuh... Kalo kata temen mah, Rachma mesti dikasi CV yang amazing, huehehehe, maybe that works...maybe not :P.

-cap gajah-
Naon sih? udah tau kartunya atuh, kalo cap gajah aja mah, Rachma juga punya :P

-cap luar negeri-
Ih, terus kenapa? teu aneh ah

-CV-
Riwayat pendidikan....hmm... IPK.... hmmm... prestasi.... hmmm... organisasi... hmm...tempat kerja...hmm...

-salary-
Ini nih tantangan ketika seorang cewek udah established [emang Rachma udah gitu? :P]... heheheh.


Sigana kalo sama yang suudhan mah udah dicap stereotip cewek Bandung tea: matre, bisanya bersolek. Dih, males banget deeeeh . Kalo dah ada click chemistrynya mah... pleus niatan yang emang diluruskan hanya untuk meraih ridha Allah... ya dengan sendirinya akan senang hati menerima pasangan apa adanya....


Beyond those things, what actually impress me are small unnecessary things. Hal-hal yang sama orang sok sibuk mah kadang dilewatkan, kan menurut mereka mah itu teh gak penting. Sedangkan Rachma kadang suka sama hal-hal yang mungkin gak penting dan wasting time, huehehehe. Rachma suka sih sama orang-orang yang peduli tentang details, punya plan yang jelas ampe rinci dengan plan A,B,C.... Kagum sama orang yang punya jiwa kepemimpinan tinggi. Beda aja sih, auranya beda [naon sih maksudna? :P].


Dan yang paling penting, someone who knows well how to handle me. Rachma nyadar, energi tinggi ... punya alasan gak masuk akal untuk jadi keras kepala, punya banyak fakta yang tiba-tiba ada untuk defense, punya banyak persediaan energi untuk pakeukeuh-keukeuh... banyak cadangan untuk tiba-tiba gak mood dan BT tanpa alasan, banyak sifat iseng dan jail buat ngeganggu... banyak alasan gak penting untuk minta diperhatiin... pokoknya yang selfish-selfish deh.... dan gak tau malu pengen menang sendiri, pokoknya tau kalah juga tetep aja pengen dibolehin menang, hihihihi . I do wonder what kind of man will stand those kind of things? Must be a person with huge patient and loyalty, huge love and sincerity. Oya, sekarang lagi memetakan keinginan mengabdi, hehe, harus mulai dipetakan dengan baik.


contoh:
me: BT ih, masa coba Rachma mu tenggelam gak ditolong . [padahal ini scene mimpi, tetep aja protes sama orangnya, hehehehe]
someone: ya, mungkin karena saya gak jago renang
me: ya tetep aja kesel, kan disitu gak ada siapa-siapa, kok tega sih gak nolong [keukeuh aja mempermasalahkan hal gak penting...]
.......obrolan terputus........
someone: tadi abis sholat malam, kepikiran mimpinya. Ambil hikmahnya aja Rachma... Jangan sampe kita tergantung pada orang lain...
me: [masih dalam suasana BT, dan lagi gak mau ngobrol panjang lebar]... ya, ambil hikmahnya. Mungkin salah satunya Rachma mesti bisa renang, biar kalo ada apa-apa tuh gak ngarepin ada orang lain nolong
[mood tetep aja lagi jelek, dan tetep kesel -hal gak penting- ]
someone: ya, gak gitu juga atuh. Emang kalo Rachma mimpi jatuh dari tebing, jadinya mesti bisa manjat tebing juga?
me:
someone: Tapi kalo di dunia nyata mah insya Allah saya tolong ko Rachma... sebisanya
me: [kenapa kalo ngobrol sama dia... dia menang mulu....]


, kadang kalo lagi bosen dan lagi pengen jail, suka keukeuh bilang "Rachma tau pendapat Rachma salah, tapi kadang kan pengen di-iya-in aja, pengen dibolehin menang...", hehehe, so selfish.


Another example, I love talking jewellery, I can afford buying it, but that doesn't mean I love investing my money on it. Ada kadarnya lah itu... Lagian, sebetulnya sesuatu itu kan tergantung sapa yang ngasih dan packagingnya. Kalo yang ngasihnya si Aa mah, yang kaya gimana-gimana juga ya tetep aja bagus dan indah keliatannya. yang gak lucu pun jadi terlilhat lucu, heuheuheuhe. Yang biasa-biasa pun jadi terasa berharga, hihihih .


Which woman isn't fond of nice house? Lantas apa itu juga dikategorikan matre? Emang matre sih, kan rumah termasuk materi itu, bukan abstrak :P, kalo rumah benda abstrak, berarti jadi ada istilah cewe abstrek :P. Tapi ada koridor yang mengingatkan, semisal "ingat lo... semakin mewah rumahnya, semakin mewah kendaraannya...makin banyak juga hisabnya di akhirat".... Nah lo? dihisab... siap?


So, the sentence "yes I do" costs a lot, huh?

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jangan banyak melamun
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jangan lupa berdo'a sebelum tidur
ingat Allah selalu

....de taim....

Everything is about probability
Not consciousness nor honesty
It depends on how brave you move on
How hard you try
How deep you trust your own faith
A matter of time only

But it sacrifices patient a lot
Sometimes it just drags you out of the door
And leaves you there out of nowhere
Alone
No light, not even splashes

Who cares with those things if you can smile a lot
I can see a rainbow within your eyes
And that is more than enough
But you know we are gambling with time
Falling deeply with probability

It's random for sure
Maybe I move
And you suddenly stop walking
Perhaps you run
And I just sit, watching you feeling tired
Suppose to smile
But the tears come down

I have ...
No energy left to observe those kind of things
Such that I am tired way much deeper than you are
There is no map, no guide, no watch
Only warm embrace flying around
Creating some illusions
We all fall too deep
Separated, separately
Only God knows what is actually going on
Agree?

Derajat

Berapa suhunya? sekian derajat :D


Tapi, yang dimaksud dalam postingan kali ini bukan derajat yang itu, heheh


Yang mu Rachma soroti adalah perkataan seorang mu****i, yang intinya seperti ini:
"Jangan ngabis-ngabisin waktu mikirin orang yang belum jadi suami sah. Mau segimana pun sayangnya, mau segimana pun baiknya, mau segimana pun sholehnya, tetep aja faktanya dia belum jadi suami. Kalo cowok bukan suami itu ya belum punya hak untuk diperhatiin de es be. Kalo belum jadi suami itu, ya sama aja kaya tukang beca, tukang sayur, selayaknya laki-laki lain yang bukan mahram"...




Gak kuat Rachma denger yang bagian: tukang becanya :D. Maaf, no offense buat yang ada hubungan ma tukang beca, Rachma tidak bermaksud menyinggung SARA [suku, agama, ras, dan akademik :P]. Kenapa gak bisa nahan ketawa... ngg... karena saat itu Rachma ngebayangin harus menyamakan *teeeet* [Aa yang gak boleh disebut namanya ] sama tukang beca :)), hahahahah, langsung da kembali pada jalan yang benar, hueheheheh. Ama tukang beca mah sudah jelas bisa lebih objektif untuk bertingkah laku, gak akan ngasi perhatian gratis , gak akan segitunya meluangkan waktu walo jelas-jelas lagi sibuk... de es be de el el....


Nyadar sih, emang perasaan apa pun yang muncul sebelum nikah itu mesti dijagaaa pisan, dimanage sebaik-baiknya. Tapi kalo inget sama istilah menyamakan sama tukang beca, tetep aja pengen ketawa, hihihihi


Ada saat-saat membendung perasaan itu melangkahi logika. I mean, yeah I am not a little girl anymore, I know how to put logic here and there, but still there are times I can't command what my heart should feel, what my mind should think. The best thing I can do is being patient, and still... there are a lot of temptations all over.

Emang ya, setan menggodanya gak henti-henti...


Duh Allah...pusing....


Udah nangis-nangis, curhat-curhat oge tetep aja susah managenya...
hayah, kumaha iyeu teh, cenah mu istiqomah...
Eh, tapi istiqomah itu bukan berarti ngilangin perasaan kan? soalnya Rachma gak kebayang nih kumaha ngilanginnya,,,


Tiap hari berdo'a.. pasti do'anya ada kaitannya ma itu terus, heheheh. Sebelum tidur biar tenang tidurnya... pasti do'anya itu-itu juga, hihihih. Kayanya malaikat di samping kiri kanan dah apal do'anya :D.


The worst thing about all of this? not about "miss" time, but about "worry"-related things. Prasangka, begitulah :D [Rachma ngomong apa sih huehue... :))].


Pernah, bukan pernah lagi ketang :D, ditanya temen:

-tanya lagi pada hati sendiri, apa ini tuh beneran ato cuman pelarian aja-
Hmm...
jadi yang Rachma rasain itu...

hmm...

eeto...




hmm...





jadi sebenernya...






....

*hehehehehe, ada yang penasaran kayaknya *



Mode serius ON:

Jadi yang Rachma rasain itu... semacam "care". Don't ask me why, cause I don't know why either :D. Felt it's there, but that's it.


Can I say that I care about him because we are friends? :D, hahahah gak banget sih :P.
Well, like I said, the worst thing is about worry things, yaitu ketika gak tau kabarnya, dan jadinya berprasangka, terus jadi khawatir gak jelas [dasar cewek ].


Kadang terlintas, is worrying him considered a crime? wonder sayah, malaikat nulisin itu ke kitab kanan ato kiri ya?

La tahzan... innallaha ma'ana... innallaha ma'ana... innallaha ma'ana... innallaha ma'ana... innallaha ma'ana

Itu obat mujarab kalo tiba-tiba bersedih, berkali-kali ngucap innallaha ma'ana -sesungguhnya Allah bersama kita-, sampe bener-bener meresap di hati, ampe otak kembali tenang, kembali membumi :D. Kenapa sedih? hmm... ya, gimana ya... suka tiba-tiba sedih aja :D. Terutama kalo virus lonely menyerang, hehehehe. Atau kalo lagi kangen, hihihi , harus dimanage, terus gak bisa ngapa-ngapain... tapi energi tinggi :)), jadinya malah sedih. Padahal kalo nurutin hawa nafsu kan tinggal pencet "call", heheheh :D. Tapi hati kecil membisikkan, gak tega kalo harus merusak keistiqomahan si Aa, Rachma kan dah gede, masa jaga hati aja gak bisa....heuheuheu, beurat .


Terus kalo dah gak kebendung kan suka nangis tuh [lamun diitung kayanya banyak pisan air mata yang keluar :D, hikmahnya: cuci mata, baik bagi kesehatan ]... terus suka berdo'a di tempat, hehehe. Ampe apal beneran da ama do'anya, heuheueheu. Tapi mempraktekan do'a itu teh penuh perjuangan, alias nangis-nangis lagi pleus harus banyak istighfar :D. Ada pertentangan antara logika dan hati, antara keinginan pribadi dan kebaikan bersama, lieur pokoknyah.


Kalo udah over khawatir :D, yang mujarab adalah ketika berdo'a... menitipkan dia pada Dia, hehehehe. Karena doktrinasi "tukang becak" itu gak ngaruh dan gak mempan, heuheu. Lebih tenang ketika mengembalikan apa yang ada pada Sang Pemberi, Sang Khalik yang Maha Pengasih. Mendo'akan dia biar istiqomah juga, yang kalo bukan jodoh mah, Rachma juga mendo'akan supaya dia ketemu jodohnya, dimudahkan jalannya dipermudah prosesnya... [sambil nangis-nangis antara ridha gak ridha ini mah ngedo'anya, hehehehe :D]. Takut sih, ketika Allah teh gak ridha sama perlakuan Rachma pada "rasa" yang Ia titipkan. Ketika udah mulai kerasa ada egoisme yang tumbuh, posesivitas yang mungkin berlebihan, mesti segera dinetralisasi, di"rukiyah", hehehe, biar kembali ke jalan yang benar :D. Udah gitu teh kadang suka terucap minta maaf sama dia, terus jaga-jaga bisi emang bukan jodoh, Rachma juga minta maaf sama calonnya :D. Rachma juga merasa gak enak hati sama calon suami yang sebenarnya, yang mungkin saking berharganya beliau ini, sampai saat ini teh masih dirahasiakan sama Allah [biar jadi surprise kali yak, kan Rachma seneng surprise :D]. Eta mah bukan do'a nya sigana, lebih mirip memorandum permintaan maaf, heheh. Tapi ya setidaknya itu nambah tenang, biar Allah yang menyampaikan permohonan maaf tak langsung ini, heuheu :D, soalnya Rachma bingung mesti gimana lagi.

Duh Allah...


Kalo kata temen Rachma mah, "menahan rasa yang belum sah halal itu ladang jihad juga, karena hanya orang yang kuatlah yang bisa memanage rasa itu".

yang jelas mah tetep we sedih :D.


Rachma kan pernah baca ya, kalo orang beriman lagi sedih itu, ada malaikat-malaikat yang turun ke bumi untuk menghiburnya.

"Janganlah bersedih wahai orang beriman, sesungguhnya Allah telah menjanjikan surga untukmu".

Kadang kalo lagi nangis-nangis, suka kelintas,,, Rachma termasuk golongan tadi gak ya? yang kalo lagi sedih ada banyak malaikat turun untuk menghibur?

Orang yang dekat sama Allah itu... namanya tersebar di kerajaan langit, ampe penduduk langit tuh berlomba-lomba mendo'akan dan memintakan ampun untuk orang itu. Rachma termasuk orang yang kaya gitu gak ya derajatnya? Jangan-jangan masih jauh ini.... hayah... mana banyak dosa lagi... . Orang lain mah udah ngafal Al-Qur'an juz apa.... udah nabung sholat malam segimana...
Sedangkan Rachma masih....
duh... , ini derajat kualitas kemanusiaan Rachma baru nyampe mana yak? . Jangan-jangan rapornya inflasi, defisit, banyak merahnya...
tidaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaak , padahal kan pengen nabung amal, pengen tamasya ke surga... pengen punya rumah di situ, pengen ketemu sama nabi Muhammad, pengen melihat wajah Allah...

Duh... pengen....



Jadi pilih mana Neng Rachma... ngumbar nafsu? ato istiqomah!!!

*kok Rachma jadi ill feel sendiri yak, hihihihi, kalo ngedenger kata nafsu jadi serasa wanita penggoda, hehehe, mengerikan *

Jadi setelah mikir-mikir, emang mesti sabar, banyak berdo'a... dan istiqomah... Sedih itu manusiawi, tinggal disikapi sebijak-bijaknya [ingat pelajaran PPKN tentang hikmat kebijaksanaan :D]

*gaya heroin on*

Tapi beraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat , sekarang aja kerasa banget waktu berjalan amat lambaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat . Udah gitu teh banyak godaannya deuih. Hayah, kadang ngerasa yang namanya status itu penting, emang sih status single itu artinya siapa pun berhak mengajukan proposal. Lamun kata cowok mah status single teh kesempatan untuk menyeleksi calon istri.

Tapi naha nya, akhir-akhir ieu teh malah jadi ill feel sama cowok yang sebenernya mah bermaksud baik meureun...
Yang ada bukan pengen melihat-lihat, menyeleksi dan memutuskan, tapi malah kerasa... "capek!", males mikirinnya.


Hhh...

Ya Allah,
jadikan kami
hamba-hamba yang istiqomah
menapaki jalan yang Engkau ridhai
jangan biarkan kami
terlena cinta yang semu
isilah hati kami
dengan rasa cinta dan rindu kepada-Mu

Astaghfirullahal'adzim
Astaghfirullahal'adzim
Astaghfirullahal'adzim

Flying star

It blinks, beautifully
It is amazing, without any hesitation
It burns, no ignition
It is there, uninvited

How can a star be such adorable?
In silent it speaks a lot
In white it spreads healing whisper
It twinkles, so deep
So touch... so though
Flying nicely
Taking my mind away

The flying star out there
Amusing
Such that I am happy
Happy
But why is the light faint lately?

Supportive Sidekick

You know who we're talking about — the champion consoler, the person you can always count on, the person who knows how to clean up even after the biggest emotional superspill of your life. This friend gives you a one-on-one rush like no other. This confidante for all seasons can probably even read your mind just a little. Or don't you remember the last time they finished a sentence for you?

Lucky for you, your supportive sidekick can probably guess what your next dreams will be before you even do. It must be nice to know you have a tireless supporter and coach in your midst, someone you can tell anything to who always has your best interests in mind and a smile to cheer you up. How sweet!

Itulah hasil yang keluar setelah jawab beberapa pertanyaan -gak penting [orang sok sibuk, 2008]- di web Tickle. Do I really need that kind of person? yeah, maybe.

Adalah suatu klise yang ada benarnya, bahwa orang cenderung mencari dan membutuhkan keberadaan orang lain yang sedikit banyak memiliki sifat yang sama. Sekufu, bahasa kerennya mah. Biar kalo apa-apa teh nyambung gitu .

1. Senyum
Rachma paling suka ngeliat ekspresi orang tertawa, senyum, pokoknya yang bahagia...bahagia gitu deh :D. Kadang tanpa disadari, I smile a lot, too often. Sampe temen selab ato teknisi bilangnya, she is a happy person. Dan kadang di tengah senyum suka ditanya, "why do you smile?".... Rachma bukannya ngejawab, tapi malah ketawa karena kebayang dong kalo jawabnya "senyum itu ibadah" :D.

2. Manja
Rachma ngaku Rachma manja, yakni dalam beberapa hal yang menurut kamus Rachma itu wajar buat manja-manja :D. As I know how nice to be pampered is, I also know how to pamper people. Pepatah singkat nan romantis yang berbunyi "your wish is my command" ... more or less I can think a good way to adapt or even to steal someone's heart .

3. Let's play the game
I love something adventures, dengan bekron yang mudah bosen begini, Rachma emang cenderung suka sama sesuatu yang dinamik dan penuh kejutan. Suka banget sama sesuatu yang bikin penasaran, yah... pokona mah bikin hidup lebih hidup lah :D. Love something new, love challenge also. Soalnya bikin otak mikir [jadi kan ada yang dipikirin], dan bikin fisik kerja [jadi ada yang dikerjain] :D. Kalau udah mendeteksi "I think... someone is playing game with me. Umm... so let's play the game, you have your rules, and I have mine. And the story begins..." :D. Dari segi game pun, Rachma suka main game mobil balap ato tembak-tembakan, seru aja sih, menyerang,, hahaha keinginan agresi terealisasikan :P.

4. Sibuk
Rachma sibuk, maaf ya... emang Rachma sibuk, sibuk menjalani hidup :D. Hehehe. Anyway, Rachma suka sama orang-orang yang mode sok sibuk :)), asik buat digangguin soalnya . Coba, kalo sama orang yang nyantai mah... apanya yang mu digangguin coba? heuh gak seru ah, terlalu monoton mah alamat ngebete-in. Oya, mayan sering dapet protes di ym. Yang kalo hati sedang tak terjaga suka kelintas "ni orang maunya apa sih!!! Emang kerjaan Rachma tuh mantengin Ym apa?!! enak aja. Sori dori mori, Rachma sibuk. Gak ada waktu buat ngobrol freelance gak jelas . Dan satu hal lagi, perhatian Rachma mahal!!! catet ".

5. Perhatian
Sebagai manusia biasa, suka sama orang-orang yang perhatian. Ujungnya, ya jadi pengen merhatiin balik :D. Tapi kalo dah kelewatan mah, suka illfeel ketang, jadi bosan, malah jadi... apa ya, kelintas "I need 'me' time". Yah, bagaimana pun juga, Hukum Gossen tetap berlaku :P.

6. Serius, in time, konsisten, tanggung jawab, dan rius-rius lainnya.
I don't like people who lies, even in making a joke, that is mainly because,,, ya, I always take everything seriously. It does has positive and negative sides. It's just... ya, that's how the world works. You may often see me very very... relax, but wait... don't let the seen things fool you. I for sure don't like the one who is too relax. Suka gemes ajah,,, can you do it a little faster??? geeze....
[ini mah karena emang Rachmanya gak sabaran ketang :P. Saking gak sabarnya, emang semangat banget ngerampungin tugas atau kerjaan secepatnya :D]

7. Melow
I really appreciate art, poetry, and alike. But I actually hate a too melow person. Apalagi kalo cowok, cape deeeeh

8. Last word
Haha, saking kreatifnya, gak mau kalah ngomong, ada aja yang kelintas di kepala buat defense sesuatu. Modal yang baik untuk presentasi :D, tapi mungkin bikin bete beberapa orang yang dasarnya gak suka kalah ngomong juga, heheheh. But I actually don't like arguing [ini seriusan lho, tiga rius deh ], I prefer listening. Suka aja dengerin orang ngomong terus ntar komentar-komentar [ato mungkin ini teh sebenernya bukan suka mendengar, tapi suka komentar :P, ato dua-duanya? :D]. Tapi suka lo kalo nemu partner yang se"bahasa" :D, hehe. Dan impressed kalo nemu orang yang tau celah buat ... apa ya... to handle me, heuheuh. Pertanyaan yang terlintas kalo ada makhluk ngedeketin adalah, "is he sure he can handle me? I might give him huge surprises" :P.

9. SARA
Kurang suka kalo ada orang nyinggung-nyinggung akademik ato kebanggaan-kebanggaan lainnya, gak tau... kurang suka ajah, SARA ih, heheheh. Kadang kalo udah kesel, suka pengen motong langsung dan bilang: just give me your CV, and maybe I'll think about it, hehehe . Manusiawi lah, lebih cenderung suka sama yang low profile, yang kaya gitu-gitu mah gak usah dibilang-bilang nanti juga tau atuh, kan orang yang berilmu mah emang ditinggikan beberapa derajat dari manusia lain sama Allah, jadi gak perlu show off gitu, lagian otak siapa itu coba? "cuman" dititipin sama Allah kan itu, meni segitunya....

10. ....
Ntar ah, disambung lagi....
*jadi sering nulis gak jelas... demi ngurangin mumet...*

La tahzan, innallaha maána... innallaha maána...innallaha maána

“Maka nikmat Tuhanmu mana lagikah yang kamu dustakan?”

Astaghfirullah
Astaghfirullah
Astaghfirullah

Right next to the right one

Ya, seminggu ini menghayati satu album Celine . Lagu berjudul right next to the right one ini catchy, melodinya cenderung datar jika dibandingin ma lagu-lagu Celine lain yang pitchnya lebih beragam. Selidik punya selidik, ternyata lagu ini pernah dinyanyiin sama sang penciptanya Tim Christensen. Kok kesannya lagu-lagu di album taking chances ini remake ya....

Betewe, Rachma perlu beberapa kali baca dan denger maksud lirik lagu ini . Setelah ketangkep maknanya, baru deh get the feeling inside the song, dan jadinya... duh, naha jadi melow kieu... heuheu

What if we were meant to be together
What if you were meant to be the one
I could hide a million years and try to believe
That any time the boy in mind will come and rescue me

Cause you're the fire, you're the one
But you'll never see the sun
If you don't know, you're right next to the right one
And I could call it many names
But its myself I need to blame
If you don't know, you're right next to the right one

In the end you've got a friend for lifetime
Truly there to truly care for you
I know you cry a million tears so I want you to know
That a pretty face can take you places, you don't wanna go

Cause you're the fire, you're the one
But you'll never see the sun
If you don't know, you're right next to the right one
And I could call it many names
But its myself I need to blame
If you don't know, you're right next to the right one

So in the end it all depends on whether you'll find
Warm embraces when I replace the one you had in mind...

Cause you're the fire, you're the one
But you'll never see the sun
If you don't know, you're right next to the right one
And I could call it many names
But its myself I need to blame
If you don't know, you're right next to the right one

Hayo, ketangkep gak tuh maksud lagunya apa?
Itu bacanya mesti per paragraf, kalo dihubungkan ma nada lagu, jadi asa gak nyambung [ato mungkin Rachma aja yang gak ngeh dari awal ].

Hari ini tadinya mu ngukur GPC, tapi dasar tuh polimer manja-manja, masa dilarutin ke THF aja suseh larutnye, dicoba di DMF juga... yang mestinya langsung larut jadi lama... . Well anyway, let's see what will happen tomorrow morniiiiing
[gini nih asiknya riset, selaluuuuu aja ada surprises :D... gak bikin bosen, bikin excited, bikin looking forward for something...bikin... yah, nunggu hasil, kepastian :P... walo nu jelas mah bikin mikir, heheheh ]

Tadi ngayoutube [ngayoutube we terus di kantor teh ....]. Tapi jangan salah, kan nyari inspirasi riset sambil refreshing :D. Lamun teu refresh mah yang ada bikin teu mood. Males banget kan kalo kerjaan bikin gak mood. Harusnya kan kerjaan tuh bikin hari senang dan ceria, karena jadinya ada sesuatu yang dikerjain daripada bengong gak jelas di rumah. Jadi boleh dong have fun dalam kerja. Yang penting kerja beres sesuai harapan, terus orangnya hepppiiii selalu. Ya kan... ya kan? :D

*pembelaan...pembelaan... *

Abis semalem moodnya lagi juelek, sebelum tidur nangis dulu. Itu mah air matanya keluar sendiri ketang, disusul dengan dzikir sekuat hati buat menghimpun kesadaran biar tetep logis membumi :P, ampe akhirnya ketiduran deh. Mimpinya juga jadi kebawa gak bagus, bangun juga jadi kerasa gimanaaaa gitu . Lieurrrrrrr....

*itu pembelaan juga :))*

Tapi...Rachma pernah nya cerita sama seseorang :D, kalo akhir-akhir ini teh sering mimpi buruk yang kadang berakhir dengan goresan luka di tangan. Rachma cerita teh dalam rangka... naon nya, nya cerita we pokoknyah :D. Kan kalo sama yang nyambung mah bisa cerita kaditu kadieu, nu teu penting ge diceritain :D. Yang Rachma takjub, responnya, hueheheh. Terharu jadinya,,, padahal cerita kaya gitu teh masuk kategori teu penting kalo kata orang sok sibuk mah :P. Rachma juga gak nganggap itu hal serius [yeah, I am a serious person, even in making a joke, I am serious on it ]. Ternyata ada yang lebih serius dari Rachma, jadi lucu liatnya, heheheh :D. Ah, tapi kalo kaya gini teh, jadi makin susah jaga hati :))... hmm... :P. Somebody, meant or not meant to be, has been shooting right on the spot, which for a lot of conscious reasons :P, better for me to really be careful now and then. And in many cases, I actually wonder, what a nice scenario...what an interesting coincidence, he is always there, the right man in the right time in the right place.
*Halah, melebih-lebihkan :P*

Ini nulis blog sambil dengerin lagu janji sucinya yovie dan nuno :D. Jadi, hasil ngayoutube tadi, adalah melihat-lihat top reward tahun 2007. Terus ngeklik bagian adorable video. Videonya tentang anak kecil ketawa, dan emang liat video itu jadi pengen ketawa, dan kebawa hepi suasananya. Terus ada juga video lain tentang anak ini, sama cutenya. Ih pokona mah, kawaiiii pisan lah, bikin gemes, dan jadi pengen punya anak, heheheh.
Rachma embedkan videonya di sini:

Gak bosen Rachma nonton video itu. Kalo lagi bete gi gak mood, ngeliat anak kecil di video itu ketawa puas banget, jadi kebawa hepi :D. Yang bosen kayanya temen seruangan, hueheheh, ngedenger Rachma ketawa karena mantengin video yang sama... hihihih .

Yu ah, iklan selse,,,mari kembali ke jalan yang benar, serius deui mikirin riset...

La tahzan

La tahzan...innallaha maána

-jangan bersedih, sesungguhnya Allah bersama kita-

Itulah doktrinasi yang harus semakin kuat ditanamkan dalam kepala. Ujug-ujug ngerasa lonely dan sedih, bukan hal yang aneh. Tiba-tiba gak mood ngapa-ngapain, bukan hal yang aneh juga. Proses recoverynya itu yang mesti ditinjau ulang, untuk kembali ceria ngadepin hidup . Doktrinasi adalah salah satu jalan keluarnya, jadi gak ngasi jeda buat mikirin kaya,,, bener gak sih kita bahagia, bener gak sih? kok hampa ya... jadi ini tuh sebenernya bahagia gak sih? heheheh.

Moody, begitulah kira-kira. Kalo yang namanya iman itu bisa naik bisa turun, yah mood juga kaya gitu. Ada satu waktu di mana... "duh, kok tiba-tiba gloomy sih... padahal kan lagi gak pengen sedih-sedihan... ", atau di lain pihak kaya "ih, seneng, gak ada angin gak ada ujan, kok tiba-tiba bahagia ya....". Hehehe, pokoknya aneh aja, kadang kalo dah pusing mah pengennya selogis mungkin, lebih ke ya sudah lah... go with the flow sajah, nikmati aja semua. Menikmati jadi seorang manusia, tepatnya... jadi perempuan.

Feeling gloomy... tentunya ada saat-saat mencari "hiburan", mengalihkan perhatian, nyari-nyari yang lucu dan menarik, kadang ngerjain sesuatu yang ecek-ecek dan gak penting, hanya untuk ... melewati hari, to let the time flies more quickly.

Yah, la tahzan ... innallaha maána...

Otagai ganbarimashou....